Against The Odds

I had to add a response after getting several message regarding the guy I mentioned in the audio.

Don’t feel like reading? Listen instead. This one is a little longer because I mentioned some personal things that is not written in the content, **Not an intimate man in my life, but a man in my life is brought up.

Most of you think I'm always dressed to the nines, trust me, when I write these things I'm usually in sleep clothes or an oversized t-shirt. Although, I have gotten comfortable with wearing sweatpants outside the house. And I do not really go out often, contrary to popular beliefs. Yes, after a long day or week, I have some go-to places I like to visit, but I don't really make plans to make a night of it. I just like to have a drink in social atmospheres. When I run into people I know, I do stay out longer, but initially my intentions are normally to have 2 drinks and go home. I am very much a square. And I'm sure whoever I get involved with will appreciate that I'm not a woman who's always about town. Which leads me to this topic…

I am generally in front of my laptop 8-14 hours a day. I started setting up alarms on my phone to remind me to step away from the screen so my eyes can readjust.

So some of you ladies have voiced your disappointment for me because you feel that I encourage infidelity. How you interpret my words is most likey based on what you've already predetermined about men, relationships, and possibly me. So I'll relay the same message again…

Many times I’ll say that what a man does when I’m not around is not a major concern for me, BUT it will become an issue if what he does negatively impacts my health, my stability, and my overall happiness. I generally keep all this vague because I want you to interpret it in your own way that works for you, because what works for me may not be something you agree with. — We don't have to agree to be happy with our relationships or ourselves.

No, I’m not saying it’s okay for a man to cheat his partner, I don't ever condone that. What I am saying is that a man has to be consistent in securing his partner and still making her feel valued, wanted, cherished, and loved no matter what he does especially if he wants to keep the relationship going. Reassuring a woman is a unique skill and when a man is able to do this, everything and anyone else is just background noise. Furthermore, not every man is capable of managing his behavior and his emotions when it comes to other women in his life and this is what causes conflicts with the main woman in his life. Many times when men go out and do whatever it's not because they are missing something with the woman he's already with, it's more often because someone else wants him and men find it appealing to be wanted, it feeds their pride and egos. Some act on it. Some don't. *More in the audio.

These are what my nights usually look like. Food in bed, a book, and tv on in the background.

Even though 2 people come together in a relationship, they are still 2 separate people who have their own thoughts and opinions. Yes, there will be some similarities, but they are still 2 different people, not clones of each other. So there are elements of their lives that won't directly involve the other. Again, I don’t advocate or support men to act against the love and commitment towards their partner, I more encourage women to not solely focus on what is not happening in front of them and instead focus on how the man treats them and makes them feel. Your life cannot revolve around one person because then you become dependent on them for your happiness. Whether you are married, dating, or just casually involved with someone, if you only look to that person for your own validation then you will always have an issue anytime they are not around you.

If I am involved with someone, no matter what the status of our relationship is, there are still some proprietary elements that I want protected which includes my heart and my health. My main gripe is when I don’t know my place with a man and he doesn't make it clear, instead he plays on my emotions and makes me feel like I’m wrong when I speak on what bothers me. *More in the audio.

I strive be in bed/sleeping between 8p-10p each night.

I am usually very laid back and go with the flow. I'm very much a “guy's girl” in the sense that I like going to bars, I watch sports, I talk shit, and I'm not stuck up or hard to approach, but if I'm fooling with you in any type of way and you try to challenge my intelligence and rationale, then that's the shit that will trigger a very ugly side of my attitude.

Don’t let what you do out there negatively effect what we have going on over here. Don’t let people out there try to influence you to act differently with me. And lastly, don’t do shit in front of me that you know will be a problem.

This doesn't mean I promote infidelity, this encourages a man to maintain a level of respect for his woman by keeping the nonsense away from her, because that's what most of you are worried about right? Is having to deal with any nonsense a man causes, but if it never comes to your attention or if he's still on top of make you feel number one, then what's the problem?

Enjoy your life and if you have someone, enjoy your life with them, but don’t get caught up in the “What if he’s doing something when I’m not around?” Focus on the “What he’s doing right here, right now, right in front of you.” — A good man is going to always make you feel valued and cherish even when you’re not seeing eye to eye, he is still not going to let any outside factors come between the two of you. Love that about him. *More in the audio.


The Energy You Give

The energy you give is just as important as the energy you allow yourself to take in. Energies can easily be changed, shifted, and influenced. You want to be cognizant of the vibe you are exuding. Even if you are being friendly, if your mood is distant or shut off, it will still come through: tone, word usage, and body language can convey your current energy. You have to be carefully with your negative energy because someone else might match it. If your tone is aggressive or dismissive then should you be offended if the person you are talking to meets your tone with the same energy?

When someone is upset, they don’t look outside themselves and see how their behavior is possibly influencing bad reactions from others, that’s why when people are arguing, nothing is being heard, therefore nothing is being solved. Good leaders, whether of a company or a home, have to be careful of the energy they are giving off because it will either encourage positive responses or rebellious ones. This is the main reason why arguing through text is never a good idea.

Example: This wasn’t an argument, but it could have turned into one if I didn’t practice self-awareness. I sent a message to someone late at night with misguided information. I pieced together different parts of conversations with people earlier that evening and the end conclusion that I held on to was completely inaccurate 🤦🏽‍♀️ (!!!) And the response I got the next morning was very justified 🙃😄. But instead of holding my ground and causing friction, I began to accept my misunderstanding and revert back to a happier energy.

*But I’ve noticed sometimes when people know who I am or who I know, they'll say certain things around me to see my reaction or how I respond. 😒

What do you notice when you are genuinely happy or at least happy with the people around you? You are laughing, you are smiling, you are welcoming, and you are emanating good, positive energy which flows onto others and their same energy flows onto you. So it’s a good practice to be around people who are in sound mind, body, and peace. But we are not robots, so we cannot always be cheerful. Although, when we are not in a happy-go-lucky mood some of us shut down and need space from everyone (be mindful that you are not hurting others when you are in this alone or dark space), while others try to find their happiness through others (also not healthy).

When my mood is down, I keep myself away from everyone because I don’t want what’s bothering me to inflict them, but I still have to work on not letting other people get me down. I still have certain triggers that switch my mood from good to horrible very quickly.

*While on vacation, I got some weird tan lines due to my choice of swimwear. 🛳🌞👙

In a physical relationship, pay attention to whom you share your intimate energy with. Intimacy at this level intertwines your aural energy with the aural energy of the other person. These powerful connections, regardless of how insignificant you think they are, leave spiritual debris, particularly within people who do not practice any type of cleansing, physical, emotional or otherwise. The more you interact intimately with someone, the deeper the connection and the more of their aura is intertwined with yours. Imagine someone having a confused aura or negative energy and they are sleeping with multiple people, now their aura is being carried around through these multiple energies and the person is also carrying around the auras of other people. What they may not realize is that others can feel that energy which can repel positive energy and attract more negative energy into your life. — If you believe this, then you should not sleep with anyone who you do not what to be like or not happy to be around because their energy will begin to transfer stress into your life.

If you have sex with positive, loving, uplifting people their energy is absorbed and uplifts you. If you have sex with negative, pessimistic, unstable, depressive people then that energy will have you confused, frustrated and moody.

This entire theory is the idea that environmental energy and physical energy manifests itself to mental energy. Anyone in agreement any with this?