ATTN: Before anyone starts loading up in the messages, YES, I do still see that someone keeps getting passed certain firewalls and leaving nasty comments. I do not know how this is occuring, but I ask all of my dedicated visitors not to focus on that type of negativity. Whoever that person(s) is, I can only hope for other people to eventually see the true nature of that person(s) and realize they can only hide their petty actions for but so long. When I would react to things like that, I would get criticized by certain people because they did not want to see what was happening to me. Things happen outside of my control and as much as I am trying to process certain damage, triggers keep appearing, and it doesn’t help when people are hostile towards me. There is nothing for me to do but to continue in my blessings and wish the best. What I discuss on my platforms or do on my own time should not upset someone so much that they say such vile things.
Happy people aren’t bitter and bitter people aren’t happy. I am not going to be part of Misery’s company.
“The Sensual Part of Me is the Best Part of Me.”
I am more intuned with myself these days. I don’t agree to things I disagree with and I don’t become too close to people who may not align with my values and long-term goals. I have realized that I see the world through my senses. You’re probably thinking, “But Raya, don’t we all use our senses?” And yes, you’d be correct, and yes, I am referring to our taste, touch, smell, sound, sight, and our 6th sense. What I am alluding to is a more sensual nature of the senses, not sexual, but sensual. The elements that make up your aura. I don’t just embrace what I see, hear, taste, smell, touch, or intuitively feel, I sit in the moment. When I eat, I don’t just enjoy the flavors, I think about the ingredients, the presentation, the textures, the time it took, and my reaction after the first bite. When I look at people, I look at them deeply, not just the curvatures of their face, but also the uniqueness of their smile, the movement in their eyes, the way they sit, the way they walk, how they enter a room. I’ve been told that I can have a very intense gaze. My eye contact makes people feel I’m looking into their soul sometimes 🤣. I do try to maintain good I contact, I think that is a part of being engaged in a conversation and active listening, but I guess I need to look away more often. 😉
Embracing your sensuality as a holistic way of life, you can cultivate a deeper connection with yourself, people, and the world around you. Sensuality is about deeply engaging with and appreciating the sensory experiences that life offers, creating a profound sense of happiness and peace.
When I say the Curriculum of My Sensuality, I am speaking about my senses of peace, happiness, and comfort. Some people just see something and have no further thought. I see something and think of its architecture. I like finding the beauty in everything, it’s one of the hallmarks I’ve developed over the years and it’s become more defined recently. Being in the essence of the outside world makes me just as happy as being in the essence of my own private space.
One of my mentees, I think she is 28 or 29, beautiful girl, dark chocolate skin, gorgeous long hair, sweet soul, and she’s been taking some style notes from me, which hey, not to pat myself on the back, but when I was in high school, everyone thought I’d be traveling the world styling the rich and famous. And my mentee is so smart, she doesn’t limit herself to the small town she grew up in. She looks around and sees people becoming complacent with their limitations and surroundings with them believing that’s the best they can do, she doesn’t think like that. She believes that working odd jobs is okay as a stepping stone, but unless it becomes a career, she believe everyone should move on to better circumstances and benefits. Yeah…that’s MY MENTEE. She’s going to do great things in life. I can sit here all day and praise her. She told me the other day, “Raya, you always have this calm radiance about you. What’s that about?” I laughed a little bit and told her that I just got better at balancing what I want, what I need, what is long-term, and what is temporary in my life. I don’t mind being the woman sitting by myself at a restaurant, I don’t mind being looked at from afar and whispered about, I don’t mind people feeling intimidated around me, I don’t mind people disliking me. But I do mind how I feel in any moment. I mind myself. How are my senses being affected and how does that affect change my mood? Then I make decisions in conjunction of my mood. I love for people to see me and see how unbothered I am, but also how happy I am.
A lively heart and a quiet life is another part of my curriculum. I told one of my friends that having high-key love and a low-key life is what works best for me. It’s what keeps me grounded. People who see me out may think I am a social butterfly, but they only see me in that element for a short period of time, while most of my time is spent inside my own little world. I don’t always attend the happening events or accept everyone invitation somewhere. I go where I feel I can be comfortable.
Life tend to push us towards all different types of connections and events, finding comfort in solitude and peace in selective interactions is a powerful act of self-preservation. It's not about withdrawing from the world, but rather about engaging with it on your own terms, in ways that nurture you rather than drain you.
Reflecting on yourself is an ongoing practice. Consider these questions when figuring out your own Curriculum of Sensuality, or Peace or Happiness, whatever you want to label it:
What Are My Non-Negotiables? Identify the core values and needs that are essential to your well-being. These are the things that you must have in your life to feel grounded and fulfilled.
How Do I Recharge? Think about the activities and environments that replenish your energy. Do you feel most at peace around family, close friends, or just having an open conversation with someone who actively listens? Understanding this helps you prioritize your time and energy.
What Drains Me? Recognize the situations and interactions that leave you feeling depleted. This awareness can guide you in setting boundaries and saying no to what doesn’t serve your well-being.
How Do I Want to Be Seen? Consider how you want to be perceived by others versus how you perceive yourself. Sometimes, the image we project might not align with our true selves. Strive to bridge that gap by living authentically.
What Brings Me Joy? Joy can come in small, unexpected moments. Reflect on the things that light up your day and make you smile. Incorporate more of these moments into your routine….especially if part of your joy is coming on here and listening to my words for a few minutes a day! Aye, I LOVE IT! 😉
Am I Listening to My Body? Pay attention to how your body reacts to different situations. Physical sensations are indicators of your emotional state. Use this information to make choices that support your overall mental well-being and happiness.
Remember that it's okay to evolve and change. Your thoughts today might not be the same tomorrow, and that's perfectly fine. Learn how to gracefully incorporate that change without any harm. Embrace the fluidity of your wants and desires, and allow yourself the time and patience to grow. Even if you’re in your 60s. We are ever growing and changing. The more in tune you are with yourself, the more equipped you'll be to navigate life's complexities, at any age or milestone.
Be safe everyone.
