“BB, what are you doing?”
Sometimes social topics pop up in my professional networks. I was at a business event and we were talking about various things, then someone mentioned a well known general manager of an NFL team who is transitioning to college football. I don’t want to mention his name for discretion and propriety reasons, but anyone who knows sports knows the man I am referring to, especially when I say this other part. And the main reason I want to share this is due to all of you bringing this subject matter up routinely.
So the unnamed man is 72 years old and has recently gone public about his relationship with a 22 year old. For those of you who do not know who this is, I’ll give you a second for this to digest. I saw them televised at an event my first thought was, “Oh the internet about to chew him up.”
The comments among my professional colleagues are as you may expect them to be. One person said, “What do they have in common? They both like soup?” Another person said, “He’d get more respect if he just carries around a blow-up doll.” All comments were funny, but they also expressed their disgust about this man parading his over triple times younger partner. But there was this one thing someone else said which I 100% agree with. The person said, “He has the money, give her an allowance, buy her a condo or apartment and keep her out of the spotlight. Because having her stand next to you at public events is an embarrassment. We all know what she’s doing, but what in the hell is he doing? If you want to have a little toy or a pretty trinket, have it, but there’s a specific manner in which you have it.” - Do you agree with this as much as I do?
If you are someone who is highly regarded (sidenote: I’ve never been a fan of this unnamed man, and with this new ordeal of his, he’s lost even more favor, he really should have kept it to himself) but anyone who is a pillar or an admired person in their community or circles, there is a decorum you abide by. Another example, a huge music mogul is under fire for his private escapades. I’m sure many of you know who I am talking about and to be honest with you, I was not surprised of some of the revelations that came out about him, mainly because of what I saw in his public behavior, and remember we talked about this a few times, how you conduct yourself in public can be a tell of how you are in private. Plus, the things I’ve heard through the grapevine about him behind closed doors. There were a few incidences when I was younger where I had the opportunity to be in his presence and I decline. My instincts about him were to be very careful around him and his entourage. My father did not raise me to be a victim. Now, I’ve made questionable decisions in my life, but no decision I made has left me traumatized about being acquainted with powerful men. I know many powerful men, I also know not to accept certain invitations from them or not to lean into some of the things they may say or talk about.
Anyway, back to the football GM, majority of the people said he looks like a damn fool. Maybe she’s been pressuring him to go public about their relationship, maybe she has some damaging secrets about him, who knows, but if that’s the case, then that is his fault for allowing her to have that much leverage on him. The tail does not wag the dog, folks. And maybe, to keep her within his grasps he’s probably doing things that he really doesn’t like to do, like listening to Taylor Swift when he rather be listening to Dolly Parton. (I hope you all understand that difference, not just in age, but also the content). And we’re pretty sure the girlfriend is doing things she doesn’t really like to do as well, but we won’t point out this things. Aye, I know growing up, the girls were fast, but these days…baby they are being fast to secure their bags. Hey, I know Birkins ain’t cheap, but I ain’t laying down for one.
Maybe this is her way of getting ahead in life. Maybe she doesn’t have many other aspirations. Knowing how society is these days, she may pop up on a reality show or start her own podcast, or her next man may be a GM of a basketball team. If I was this type of woman, I wouldn't be involved with a man like this, especially a man who I know damn well I don't need to be linked if there's no longterm benefit for me, and I’m not just talking about a few Louboutins or Chanel bags, no if this relationship is as superficial as it is, something is going in my name, stocks, properties, I’m getting something more than being your arm candy and your sex slave. Did you ever see the Denzel Washington clip where he says, “I’m from around the way. I’m leaving here with something.” This may be what the girlfriend is doing? Her parents must be proud.
But is that the reality of the young people now? Everything is so expensive that it’s more difficult for them to obtain their own assets, so the girls lean more on older men to help them gain security, because if these young girls can’t get it on their own, it’s likely the boys their age aren’t getting it either. But one thing I have noticed is when a young man or woman has stabilized themselves financially, they’re not really looking to deal with anyone who hasn’t done the same, so again, a lot these girls are looking for someone to bring to the table what they can’t, and that’s what catches their eyes, that’s what keeps them interested in a man — the possibility of what he can secure for her. And a lot of these grown men fall for it and end up digressing from a high stature just to be appealing to people who can’t even meet their stature. I hope that didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.
Again, I’ve told you guys, I have friends in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s, but I mesh better with the more mature circles because we’re about growth, progress, and business more than were are about partying. Don’t get me wrong, we still drink up and have great times, but our biggest focus is our comfort and stability and cultivating relationships that share the those same values so we can have those great times. I’m at a median age where in my dating life, I can go younger or I can go older and no one would bat an eye, because many people tend to be surprised when they learn how old I am and that I have an adult child.
Even one of my friends whose known me for almost 10 years just found out how old I am. He thought I was younger, he said how I look and what I talk about let him know that I was a lot more mature for my age, but he didn't realize I’m older than what he initially thought. And with the whole dating options, knowing how I am, I value intimacy with someone who is mentally within the same orbit, and the probability of a 25 year old meeting that is slim. And I’m not saying there aren’t any mature young people, I’m one who had to grow up faster than my peers, but even then, there were still things that I could not yet understand or comprehend until I got older.
My friends who are in their 20’s and 30’s many of them ask me for advice or my opinion on things, or sometimes they just like to be around me to experience how I enjoy my time and how comforfortable I am in my own skin, but with the young men, I do not blur the lines between friendship and something more personal because that’s when things get complicated and you end up taking on responsibilities and emotions that cloud your judgement and change the way you act. Kind of like the football GM.
But, to each their own. This is how I’m living my life, there’s no drama, and I’m going to sleep not wondering if someone is making me look foolish or if someone really has my best interest or not. I also don’t have to worry about defending my involvement with someone, because my friends know I’m not bringing anyone around if that person cannot fully and genuinely be welcomed by them especially when I’m not around. I’m not like every other woman, and I say that with confidence. I know what I offer, I know what I bring. You have to be patient, delicate, and make me feel comfortable enough for me to show you those parts of me, but I can assure you, I’m not going to show any of that to a 22 year old.
Be safe everyone.
