In one form or another we probably possess a toxic trait. Mine - Being passive aggressive and condescending when I’m annoyed, initiated or upset.
By definition GASLIGHTING is a technique that undermines your entire perception of reality. When someone is gaslighting you, you often second-guess yourself, your memories, and your perceptions. After communicating with the person gaslighting you, you are left feeling dazed and wondering what is wrong with you. It's a form of manipulation.
I’m not sure if I would call it a technique since most people don’t realize when they are doing it because in their minds they are just trying to defend themselves and in the process also being dismissive of someone else's opinions and feelings. It happens more often than we realize and occurs with all types of relationships we harbor. We see it happen most commonly in romantic relationships.
Here's My Thoughts: Don’t get upset because I’m upset. Hear why I’m upset and let's come up with a solution that works for both of us. Don’t tell me I’m overreacting or that I’m being crazy, acknowledge my frustration especially if you want me to acknowledge yours. Talk to me. Don’t push me to the side to let me stew in my own boiling pot of confusion. Don’t think that “I’m supposed to know better.” Apparently, whatever you are doing or continuing to do keeps me feeling the way I do, so if you give me the excuse of “This is just who I am.” that’s just a scapegoat of you not wanting to be challenged to be a better communicator, a better friend, a better lover…a better you.
If we are in a disagreement, we may use aggressive tones or say things out of term. — A little tidbit about myself: If you are going to go off on me no matter what tone you use, know that I talk back. And I’m not afraid of aggression, sometimes that's the only way I’ll listen (another unhealthy characteristic of mine), and if that is how you feel you need to get things across to me, then also know that you will need to coddle me afterwards…
Lamens Terms, “If you're going to talk to me crazy, then you better love on me after.” Don’t leave me alone because then I’m going to think you’ve given up.
I’ve once said, monsters don’t scare me, people do. Which means you can never know what a person is thinking or capable of, whether you are important to them or is it just a phase and they are filling some type of void before moving on. What I don’t like is inconsistency. If there is a lapse in how you speak to me and how to act around me and you’ve not given me any form of explanation, that's when my mind begins to wonder and I’ll start asking questions. If you gaslight me, it only makes matters worse.
