Different Women, Different Standards

“People who care and love you will protect your character.”

This may be a bit of an off topic and I want to start by saying that anything that's mentioned in this topic isn't intended to shade anyone. There's different variants of types of women and I've kind always been put in the “Classy” category and a lot of that has to do with how my father raised me. But even though I’m out of his household, men tend to put me in that category too. It’s like they expected me to act and speak a certain way. I really don’t mind because I am proud of the woman I am and how I carry myself and how many people see me. But sometimes there’s a part of me that wants to break that image.

For instance several years ago I was hanging out with a group of friends and there was a girl that came up to me and start dancing very seductively with me. My guy friend saw and pulled me away and said to me, “No, you’re too good to do things like that.” Although, I appreciated how he sees me, I just didn't think it was a big deal and I was having fun. Another time, I was at a club with a different group of friends and I started dancing and then I started…. ummmm… how do I say this without turning red… ummmm, you know how strippers can do certain things? Ummm yeah, that. And again a different guy friend came up to me and said, “You’re not that kind of woman, stop it.” He wasn’t rude, he said in a gentle and protective way and then he handed me a drink and guided my back to my seat. Have you ladies ever had this happen to you? And it’s not even the dancing part, one of my bar friends sometimes will say something very vulgar and then apologized to me for offending me even though what he says isn't directed to me. I think that's very sweet, but I guess he's never heard how vulgar my mouth can be. 😆

It’s almost like most of my guy friends and some of my girlfriends want to keep me in a protective box. When every now and then I just want to let lose without being corrected or told that I'm too classy to do something. There's a hole in the wall bar I like to go to every now and then and it never fails, there's always someone there who tells me I don't look like I should be in a place like that. WHY? I like that bar, the people are nice and I’ve been going there for years. And there's a lot of bars that are within walking distance from where I live, most of then are kind of like country bars where you can smoke and play pool. Well I went to one with a few people and a guy friend texted me randomly to see what I was doing. I told him where I was at and maybe 20 minutes later he comes in, takes my drink, finishes it and then walks me out and takes me home. Mind you, I’m walk distance from home, but he wasn’t walking distance from his house, so he drove out of his way to take me out if a bar that he felt I didn't need to be in. I love when people are protective of me and they probably have good reason, and for the most part I do comply when people correct me like that, but sometimes I hate when people put me in that box and just want to keep me there. Can I step out of box sometimes?

Although realistically, I know me. And there’s limits I won’t go over. I talk about a lot of things here, we have even talked about suggestive things, uncomfortable topics, and painful topics. And even though I have diverse experiences and have developed certain views, just because I may think something is fun or exciting, doesn’t mean I’ll actually do it.

With this website, some of you have said that it’s a manuscript of who I am and how to communicate with me, but it doesn’t really share too much on how to be in a relationship with me, whether a it’s a friendship or a romantic one. Yes, I’ll share what I like, what I don’t like, and you may be able to pull from that, but this really isn’t a detailed outline of how to love and accept me. Does this make sense? You can walk into a coffee shop where and I doing some work and typing away at my laptop, come up say hi to me, I say hi back, then I go about my business. Or I can stop what I’m doing and engage in a little conversation with you and get to know a little more about you and we plan time to hang out. My interactions with people differ from person to person and it also depends on what’s on my mind at the moment. Overall, I try my best to stick to my core values, even if I deviate from them at times, I still make attempts to remind myself the type of woman I am, the type of person my father raised me to be, and the type of individual that people are happy to know and have in their lives.

Be safe everyone.