“Sometimes You’ve Just Got To Give People Their Fair Shot And See If They Can Make It.”
Question for you guys. I want to think this out loud with you all. Have you ever kept your feelings for someone to yourself, or have you ever suppressed issues with some in order to keep things the way they are? How did that work out?
Something occurred recently with me and someone else, and the person said something in the heat of the moment that made me think that there's a repressed issue between us that this person is holding on to. And I didn't quite understand it because if everything was fine between this person and I, then why is there an issue?
I thought about my relationship with this person some more and slowly realized that there's been things I've never shared with this person, and I probably should have when I was in that moment. I started to write it all down, and holy shit it's a lot. I keep going back and forth on whether I should share this with the person or not because I don't want them to feel attacked or caused them to have other issues. I also don’t want the person to think my repressed feelings are what I feel now. Looking at everything, I had some built-up resentment. And I'm thinking to myself, "Fck, why didn't I say this when I was feeling it?"
In psychology, repressed emotions refer to emotions that you unconsciously avoid. These differ from suppressed emotions, which are feelings you purposely avoid because you don't know exactly how to deal with them.
But I think me holding on to it may be the reason why I act the way I do towards this person, and if I just let it out, it will be weight off my shoulders. And I don't know if this person will look at it and think,"Well damn, this makes a lot of sense now." Or they'll look at it and think, "This is a waste of my time." But if it's going to help me release pain that I didn't know I was carrying, shouldn't I just go ahead and let it out. I have no clue how this person will react, if they'll be mean about it or if they'll be conscience of what I’m doing. I know I'm very stubborn, and it doesn't help that this person is just as stubborn.
I'm a highly intelligent woman, and I have an analytical mind. If I were on the outside looking in, I'd tell myself to just say it and be prepared for any fallback form the person, be prepared for the worst, and be prepared for their defense. When you share something, you can only control what you say, not how the person understands it. There's an indirect third party who wants this person, and I just hash out the differences and get along. And I want that too, but I feel like there is going to be some explosive before we get to the other side. Or I could be wrong and this will have a more positive outcome. Ugh, being an adult is a hard sometimes especially when dealing with other adults. Because at any point both of us could be like, "I've got more important shit to deal with." And everything stays as it is. The thing with repressed and suppressed issues is that it becomes a cancer within you and it can get worse and affect other parts of your life.
I know I'm being very cryptic, I just don't want to share the particulars because it may be considered sensitive. If you guys have any experience with something similar, please share it.
