I was speaking with a colleague a few weeks ago, and we were talking about forgiveness, grace, letting go, and keeping a kind heart after going through trauma or pain.
If we don’t give grace, we won’t know how to accept it when it’s given to us, we may take it, but we won’t know what to do with it because we don’t understand enough of it to give it to others, does that make any sense? You have to experience both parts of something to have a better understanding of it and to have a better handle on it.
I think in the last few years, I’ve been leaning more on giving and showing people grace. That does not mean everything will go back to the same as before; it just means I’ve accepted the experience, but I’m not going to go through it again. You have to do things and make decisions that are good for your soul and align well with your spirit. If you make a choice and it ends up being a bad choice, then you have to make a rational decision on whether you want to continue with that choice or make a complete change. Only we can save ourselves from our poor decisions. And yes, we are going to make mistakes, but if you keep making the same mistakes, then you really have to ask yourself why you want to keep going through the same cycles instead of learning from them and doing better. And you also have to reflect on the notion that you cannot help someone if they are not willing to help themselves. Again, only you can save yourself, even if that means you can no longer be the same person for someone else.
So, ladies and gentlemen, take a moment and think about your life, what you value, and the direction you want to take yourself. Then think about the people in your life, what they mean to you, what they’ve added to you, and even think about what they may have taken from you, and I don’t mean taking from you physically; I mean taking from you mentally and spiritually. If you come to a conclusion where there are certain people in your life who just don’t align with your values and your direction, then baby, trust me when I tell you, it is not selfish to walk away from those people. Forgive them for any of their indiscretions, give them grace for them to go and help themselves, and you refocus on repairing yourself. You don’t have to hate someone to leave them alone; you just have to be firm on what you don’t want for yourself anymore. Because there is never a good reason for you to keep allowing someone to keep putting their emotional weight or burdens on you. You want people who complement your dynamic, people who know your flaws but don’t use them against you, and people who add to your energy instead of taking from it.
I said this to someone the other day, people who are truly good in their core will always thrive, and others will gravitate to them, but these people also have to be careful of those who just want to thrive off of their energy instead of adding to it. So, yeah, take a moment and think about the people in your life and assess who you just can no longer allow to walk with you in your journey and who is not deserving of your value, and then just connect with the people who make you feel great.
And I want to add this last thing. I do know who may need to hear this, but if you are dealing with something that is a result of the direction you choose, take that loss, accept the lesson, clean up your mess, cut the rope and tie off the loose ends, and start healing yourself and get back to what makes you feel and be great. I’m sure there are people out there who miss you and have been waiting for you to see what wasn’t good for you.
Be safe everyone.
