When it comes to dating and relationships, women are always telling each other, "Never settle." Do men go through the same notions?
The act of "settling" is best defined by the person who believes she has settled. It does not necessarily take away from the man, he could still be a great guy, but ultimately, he was not her ideal man or first choice. Hence, he did not meet a certain criteria for her but, overall he was good enough and she just wanted a relationship.
Do men settle for a woman who was not his ideal match but, instead a woman who is just good enough? A woman who he feels will always be present in his life, no matter the circumstances? Or is it, that woman was always truly the one for him? Therefore, would he begin to condition his thoughts and feeling to adequately "accept" her?
Maybe men have settled into a lifestyle that has worked for them: those who have a way of talking a woman into doing what he wants by saying sweet affirmations and complimenting her in some form; those who have learned to disguise their ulterior motives very well; those who just have a way with women that can't be easily explained. BUT, some women allow themselves to believe that if she does not appease a man, he will not consider her. Sighs to my fallen ladies whom are trapped in this way of thinking.
Honestly, men are simple beings, Fellas, I say that in the most loving way. I believe men want different things at different times, and maybe from different people. On Friday, he may just want sex. On Saturday, he may just want to catch a movie. On Sunday, he may just want to talk. Each of these days may be with different people and the rest of the days, he may just want to be left alone. The problem is, many men do not know how to articulate exactly what they want from a woman, and ladies, it's our fault…We get too emotional and too wrapped up on the wrong details. We always want to know the WHY of things.
Here is something to keep in mind: MEN DO NOT LIKE TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES OR REVEAL THEIR FAULTS. A woman's emotional state can cause a man to not be completely upfront with a her because she wants to harp on every fukcing minuscule detail that has nothing to do with the bigger picture and he does not want the headache. The point is, if he wants to love you, he will love you and you will feel loved, not needing to question his every word or action.
If it takes years for a man to chose you (not years of consistent dating, just years of going back and forth with you), then I am eager to wonder why his heart was absent for you when yours wasn't absent for him. Although, it is in our nature to be patient, yes?
So do men really settle or does it just take a long time for them to realize what's good for them? And was what is good from them someone they already had a relationship with or someone who was always there, no matter the status?
It’s a slippery slope when dealing with emotions and everyone’s wants are different. There is no right or wrong answer, you just have to ask yourself, “Is this what I really want?”
Raya Laephuang
Writer | Photographer | Intrigued with Human Behavior
“I read the world around me.”