I honestly believe that for a relationship to begin and be validated, the man is the one who needs to present a woman with one. But does that mean that a woman needs to drop hints to the man she wants a relationship with? If I like a man on a more personal level, then I will make it known to him....and I am not talking about simple friendly behavior like calling him and asking how his day was, because I did have several experiences where a platonic guy friend misinterpreted my behavior and thought I was interested in something more. — No, I am talking about a more personal and intimate behavior where romantic topics are discussed. If nothing else, I am great with my words and I am good with conveying what I think about a man I may be interested in. And if that man does not pick up on my interest towards him, then I'm not going to keep voicing my thoughts, I am going to eventually grow weary and move on.
But what if a man whom I do like were to ask me...ME...to be his lady? Men have far less patience than women; what if a man were patient enough to deal with me...ME?
People always assume I have a line of suitors knocking at my door….That is so far from the truth. There may be men who are interested in me but, I do not have interest in all these men and I do not think any of them really know me so well that they know how skewed my mind has become towards men and relationships...well, unless they are avid readers, then all bets are off. — But could a man really be willing to dig through my psyche and break down everything I built up to keep him out?
I don't know how to be in a relationship. The only real experience I had with one ended in disaster...even though I came out of the mess like a shooting star, it was still very trying to my persona. Could the man who wants me be able to understand all of that? Could he be so benevolent towards my guarded heart that he is able to find what I once lost? If a man were to propose a relationship, I do not know how I would respond. Correction, if the right man wanted to have me, I definitely would not know how to respond...and this is where my true insecurity comes in...What if I am not fit to be in a relationship?...Am I aware enough to identify when I am pushing him away? Am I healed enough to reciprocate his affections? Am I caring enough to comfort him when he needs me without asking me? Am I unselfish enough to love him as he loves me?
Is this what we all unconsciously think when considering relationships? Or do most of us just take the dive and see how well we can swim against any currents? What if people stated these thoughts before entering a union? Would it open more lines of communication and understanding?
Lord, who ever you got for me, he doesn’t have to be perfect, just good to my soul.