“If the interest is mutual, you can't be too shy or afraid to say what you want with me.”
Okay ladies, I’ve gotten all of your messages. A few of you have expressed how you feel men are adopting more feminine behaviors, more so being very emotional and sensitive. Many of you ladies expressed how men give the silent treatment or ignore you when they are upset with you. Some of you said that you noticed more men getting into the selfie hype and becoming more vain than women. Then there were a few mentions of when men go back and forth with women on social media or argue with women in public spaces.
So, here’s my breakdown. I think society is putting more emphasis on toxic masculinity and advocating for men to be allowed to be more sensitive and emotional. There's nothing wrong with a man expressing or showing what he feels, but I believe there are levels to it. Like losing a loved one, I expect a man to show pain over that, but a man pouting because he doesn't get his way and giving a woman the silent treatment is not something appealing. Or a man getting defensive when you point out something he's wrong about is another turn off for me.
But you know what really bothers me, and I'm not sure if I'd call this a feminine behavior, but it does raise a flag. A man getting upset because I fell asleep early, like 7 or 8 o'clock and stopped texting or didn't answer his call. Or if I tell a man I don't feel like coming out and he assumes I'm making plans with another man. Although, to be fair there are women who do that, and there are men who do that too, but I can't speak for anyone, just myself, and if I am not texting back or if I don't want to hang out, it's mainly because I'm busy with work or school or I’m sleeping. If I’m with my friends or family, I’ll say that and I may still text a little, but I’m really not out here entertaining any men.
I was watching a movie the other night, and there was a scene that was meant to be funny but may become relevant to me if, in fact, I ever get bold or maybe comfortable enough to say it. So a man and woman are sitting in a car. They’ve already met previously in a one night stand type of situation and they run into each other again. The man is trying to not be awkward about the whole thing, but then the woman says something like, “Look, I’m a 40-year-old woman, I have needs and I’m not into playing games, so are we doing this or what?” - I love that scene, but then I think, is that adversely showing a woman being more dominant than a man? Kind of like the same thought of a woman chasing the man and not the other way around, but that's what it seems like is happening now.
The mindsets are different, and you see more women doing certain things to pursue a man. Girls are oversexualizing themselves more, and men are putting more emphasis on what a woman is willing to do for him. Anyone else noticing this? I’m not saying women shouldn't make an effort, but there needs to be effort from the man too.
I think there's a few reasons why straight men seem to show more of their feminine side:
Society has become harsh towards male dominance and are quick to label something as toxic. The reality is what may be toxic to one woman may not be toxic to another. And if a man isn't being abusive, disrespectful, or lying about who he is, I prefer him to be dominant.
T.V. and Social media platforms are warping the minds of not only men, but women too and everyone has an opinion about how men should be. There's people who still say men shouldn't show emotion and then there's people who say men need to express their feelings more. I am going to go into more detail about this in a bit.
Social media platforms are also allowing people to show too much of themselves to the public. There's an old saying that goes: A gentleman's name should only be in the “paper” 3 times, when he's born, when he's married, and when he dies. Of course we’ve evolved from newspapers, but I think we should keep a similar mindset for social media. A man's name should not be involved in anything damaging or indecent. I too have seen too many times men arguing and going back and forth with women online. I expect more of a gentleman.
Some of my guy friends who have social media, most of them never post anything aside from liking someone else’s thoughts or resharing something they believe in or involved in and in my opinion, that’s how simple it should be. But, then I have a select few of guy friends who post every day, videos of their workouts, who they're with, where they are vacationing, what events they are going to. If it’s business related I get that, but when it you're just sharing something to share it without relative content are just for attention or validation, I’m not too keen on that. One friend even made a post when he was being admitted into the hospital.
This is what I truly believe….I believe a true gentleman will express what he thinks and feels to those close to him and share details of his life with the same people. And for me, I do not want to know too much about a man’s activity unless we are involved. It’s like you are putting yourself out for display when you share things with the public. I try to be careful and cognizant of what I share on here and on my social media platforms. Even when I talk about my previous lovers, I stay ambiguous.
On LinkedIn, I may share or reshare something that relates to my goals and values. I also may share things that I’ve been doing, but I do not reveal too much details of what exactly it is that I am involved in. For instance, if I volunteer, I may share my experience with volunteering and may show a picture, but that’s it and I move on. I’ve even turned my Instagram into a more professional mindset. And I am very strict on my Facebook where I have my privacy settings for just family and friends I went to school with or I’ve known for many years.
I say all of this to say that I think what we are seeing on t.v. and what is being shared publicly to us is subconsciously making it okay for men show other sides of them. There’s a sports commentator, I won’t say his name, but he used to have a show where he goes down a list of different sports topics and shares his thoughts. He is no longer part of that show, but he has other public platforms that’s revealing more of what his character is. And hey, if that’s how you make your money, do what you do. I do not watch or listen to any of his other platforms because it’s showing a side of him that just isn’t appealing to me. He hires people taking pictures of him walking to various places or doing certain things.
📌 When I take pictures like this it’s for fashion or professional content. I'm not trying to feel like an important celebrity or waging for people to pay attention to me.
It’s not like he’s still playing any sports where photographers snap pics of players entering the stadium or taking pictures of while he’s working, this guy is just wanting to showcase his celebrity status and fame. And every now and then I hear clips of what he talks about on his podcast or show and I think, why is he making this public? I know that’s his job, but there are just some conversations men should keep private. He’s just become very corny to me.
Ladies, I do think there is something with the behaviors of men that are becoming controversial. It’s hard to say what is feminine or too feminine, I just think all of us should not be so willing to share all parts of ourselves to everyone.
Be safe everyone. 🙏🏽
