“I’m Blessed.”
A lot of you ask me about my guy friends. Where I met them, how I’ve been about to keep being friends with them and not cross the line, things like that. So let me address all of that. I have not been shy about saying how great the men in my life are. And I’ve shared this before, I have a few guys I grew up with who I am still close to and guys that I have met in the last 5 to 10 years who I’ve developed a great friendship with.
All these men have amazing qualities and continue to show their support for me even when they don’t agree with me. And I think I have been able to maintain a good friendship with them because of our maturity and mentality level, it’s on the same frequency, we speak the same language. We may not be at the same place in life, but we’re in the same neighborhood, if that makes any sense. Even when they don’t agree with things I do, they don’t fold on me or talk poorly about me to other people. No, they still stand by me and protect me. They might pull me aside and have a private conversation with me about certain issues, but they never judge or patronize me. Because in their minds, and again, this comes from maturity, they know I am my own person, I am going to have my own opinions and do things how I want to, they know I not a kid and that I’ve come up a lot in life, so they are not going to make me feel small about anything they don’t agree with. They are just going to share their point of view on something. And I LOVE THAT.
One of my friends has told me that anyone who acts weird around you or talks badly about you or doesn’t show you respect is someone who didn’t pay much attention to you. Because my friends who have been around me and had serious conversation with me have a level of appreciation for me because how to carry myself and the things I talk about.
So that brings me to the question of how I’ve been able to keep them from crossing the line with me and I say this again, much of it is because of the level a maturity we all have. But, it’s also because of the boundaries that I stay firm about and they respect that. One of my fellas told me that yeah we’re friends and we’ve not done anything, but he’s still a man and has eyes and thoughts, so yeah, all of my guys flirt with me in some way and say things but they’ve never made me feel uncomfortable. But I will mention this, one of my fellas thought he did or said something inappropriate to me when we were hanging out one night and the very next morning he called me and apologized about it because he did not ever want me to feel uncomfortable around him. I LOVE that level of consideration where a man wants me to genuinely enjoy my time with him without it being something else. THIS is why I stay friends with them. And we’re so cool that they’ll invite me out to parties or events where they’ll have a lady companion with them and they introduce me in way where the women don’t feel threatened by me and that’s a quality of reassurance my guys have because they don’t want other women to be unwelcoming or awkward towards me, because my dudes know I roll solo, so they really look out for me when I do join them anywhere. They just want everyone to have fun.
I support and love my fellas the same way they support and love me. To the extent of if we are hanging out somewhere and there’s people who are trying to start issues with my guys, I’m not leaving the scene, I am going to see and address what the problem right along with me friends. And this is a personal feeling I have, my friends are my friends, they are my people, they are my team and if you have an issue with any of them, you have an issue with me too. I’m not running to get the car, I’m not running to the police, I am going to stay right there on the front line with my guys.
And my fellas, they want the best for me. They don’t want me to be involved with anyone who doesn’t align with where I want to go in life, yes they want me to have fun, but they also want me to be cognizant with the types of people I keep around me. One of my guys said if someone is going to be long term with me then we have to fit each other, whatever that looks like for us, we just have to match and be considerate of each other and I agree. And I’ve told a few of them about me recent dating experiences and they all tell me not to take anyone seriously until they prove to be different from the rest and treat me like how I deserve to be treated.
There was one of them, I cannot remember which friend I was talking to, but he was saying that I should find balance in the men I meet and factor out the ones who I know right away won’t make the cut. And I told him that the only balance I’m worried about is my pH because I’ve not been giving it up to anyone, and with what I’ve seen out here, I think this might be the case for a while. My guys know I am not the kind of woman whose running lose in the streets, they know I have a certain level of dignity and self-value and most of them know that I do not want a traditional relationship because a traditional relationships wouldn’t survive with where my focus is right now and they all understand in their own way. Some of my fellas are married, or in a long term relationship, or just out here do what they do best (whatever that is), I accept them all the same, and they give me great antidotes about their thoughts and experiences regarding relationships and other life topics. I’m just blessed to have them in my life and I love that they love me for me. That’s just what it is.
Be safe everyone.
