Apparently my last post sparked a lot of interest from you ladies. I received an abundance of emails sharing your experience with younger men. 👀😳 I’ll share your stories on the Members Only reads.
A few of you mentioned my distain about being called high maintenance and agreed that it’s the younger mindset that has not experienced enough of life or earn enough money to develop certain preferences on how you like to live. I also hate the word “boujie” which is not even a formal English word. It stems from the French term, bourgeois and bourgeoisie which means to be materialistic. — Ok, I’m materialistic for having expensive purses and shoes, but a man isn't materialistic for having luxury cars and watches? 😒 Everyone lives within their means, I’m not asking you to live within mine, and I’m not looking down on you for not living the same way, so don’t call me high maintenance or boujie.
And almost all of you agreed with me when I said the younger men Are Not Afraid To Tell You They Want You. They’ll tell you they miss you, they want to see you, shower you with so many compliments and yeah, sometimes kiss you unexpectedly; which is such the ALFA Man energy that's appreciated.
I like for a man to be masculine, dominate, and has the qualities of an ALFA, but I also love it when he has a soft spot for me and gives me reassurance, warmth, and comfort. That he doesn't care what his friends say or think if he shows me affection or special attention, because he wants me to know that I’m important to him.
ALFA men take charge of a situation with fineness and then don’t make the women they are sweet on feel unappreciated. Although, with that being said, ALFA men are still human and will still make mistakes, say or do the wrong things, the difference is they learn and make up for it. They are a different pedigree of men, but they are still men, so let’s not expect them to do everything perfectly. The one thing I do expect is for a man to make an effort. — Still saving my precious until I feel confident of a man. 😼
Through a few articles I’ve read, here are some common characteristics of an ALFA Male:
1. He’s courageous - No fearless, but courageous. We all have insecurities and fears that we cannot control, but the alpha male is able to still move on in a particular direction in spite of his fears. He may be afraid that his new business will fail, but that won’t stop him from trying. He may be concerned that the beautiful woman sitting by herself at the bar won’t want to speak to him, but he’ll still introduce himself and if she declines, he doesn’t make a scene over it.
2. He can control his emotions - We all react differently to certain things or people in our lives. The alpha male will react by taking a series of deep breaths and evaluating his next best action, he won’t lash out emotionally and dig himself a grave. — Again, he is not perfect and may still have slipups here and there.
3. He has a purpose - He is clear about his goals. The alpha male always has a purpose, he knows his direction and remains focused. — This may come with further age and experience, but he rarely just floats around aimlessly.
4. He’s not afraid to make decisions - The fear of making decisions is actually a fear of dealing with the consequences of making the wrong decision. This stems from the courage we covered in number 1 above, but it deserves its own number because people recognize decision makers. And they identify them as leaders. And alpha males are not afraid to lead.
5. He’s not afraid to say what’s on his mind - People have grown overly sensitive. All too often we don’t say what we’re really thinking. Maybe we’re afraid to hurt someone’s feelings. Or maybe we’re afraid of starting a confrontation. The alpha male still says he part, his terms and tone may differ depending on who is is speaking to, but he still says it.
6. He doesn’t let any one thing rule his life - Some people become consumed by their careers. Others are consumed by their relationships. When this happens, everything else starts to fall apart. Their health declines, their career declines, and their relationships are ruined. The alpha male recognizes that life must be balanced. Work, love, health, and friends are all essential areas that must be cultivated in order to maintain a strong lifestyle across the board.
7. He’s not afraid to say “no” - People will ask you for favors in life. And if the benefit of the favor to the other person outweighs the cost of doing the favor to you, then it should be done. But these costs and benefits should be measured. The alpha male is not a pushover. He doesn’t blindly oblige to the whims and requests of others. If his boss asks him to stay late, but he has plans elsewhere, then he kindly says “no” and moves on. He doesn’t feel the need to explain himself either because he’s looking out for his best interests. Selfishness is underrated. I’m not saying to be a selfish asshole, but if we all looked out for ourselves, then we’d all be much better off.
8. He acknowledges his weaknesses - (this one is very important to me) If you’re blind to your weaknesses then you’re setting yourself up for failure. They will continue to undermine you at every step of your life until they’re addressed and improved. It doesn’t matter if it’s a categorical weakness like being bad with women or a character weakness like being impatient, the alpha male doesn’t get depressed about having a weakness. And he doesn’t deny it out of a sense of pride. Instead he realizes that he’s lacking, and he moves to fix it.
9. He is particular about his appearance and posture - Well-groomed people make a great first impression. Alpha men are very particular about how they present themselves. They maintain personal hygiene, wear good clothes, and make sure they look their best. They are confident individuals and use their body language to their advantage. Standing straight, keeping the chin up, proper eye contact, firm handshake — these come naturally to the alpha male while interacting with people.
10. He has a great sense of humor - (I absolutely love a good sense of humor in people) One of the biggest strengths of an alpha male is his sense of humor. He doesn’t get offended if people make fun of him. Instead, he spins the situation in his favor by laughing at himself. He can make light of even his most humiliating failure because he considers it a learning experience. A silly joke has no effect on his sense of self-worth.
But keep in mind there is such an idea of being TOO ALFA where a man just doesn’t show any softness or grace, he also should have a balanced percentage of BETA characteristics. 💗
