“Sometimes you just have to let people go through a clown phase and let them be foolish until they come back to their senses.”
*I also want to mention that is it very attractive when a man acknowledges and owns up to his part in a problem. I love a man who doesn’t let pride make him arrogant or unaware of his faults…even the greatest leaders knew to admit it when they were wrong.
There are a few physical traits that make me look at a man twice such as nice teeth, good grooming, clean nails, athletic build, nice posture, and classic contemporary-style clothing. But, there are a few things a man can do that will make me lose all attraction to him. He can still be handsome, but that's it.
One of the things that make me think less of a man is when he believes he's more than he is. Like saying he's a certain type of man, but acting the opposite. I know someone like this. He intertwines himself with certain people and claims it's about the "connection" but the reality of it is he's so wrapped up in the fallacy of believing these people are like him when it more seems like he wants to be like them. Chasing after things that are not for him when he should be above them. We have a mutual friend and the mutual friend recently asked me, "What's up with your boy?" - I'm like, "My boy?! Nah, you've known him longer than me. You need to talk to him, he won't listen to me." The sad part is I used to see him as such a confident man that makes fairly stable decisions, but the decisions that he has been making recently are causing me to look at him so differently these days. It's one thing to be vulnerable and make a few wrong moves, but it's another thing to defending your poor choices and dismissing people who know you can do better. That is such an unattractive quality.
Remember a few topics back I used the percentage example? Like people being certain percentages depending on where they're at in life. This man is out here hanging around people who are at 20-30% which is bringing his caliber down. He should be at 100%, but I tried telling him and he got defensive. So hey, I'm not getting into that. It's like people who take themselves so seriously that they don't listen to rationale. I don’t have to deal with that bullshit. You're grown. Do what you want.
The 2nd thing that makes me rethink a man is if he's only paying me attention because someone else paid me attention or gave me compliments. Listen, don't take interest in me just because someone else took an interest or finds me attractive. I also find it a little odd when a man is interested in a woman because she looks like or resembles someone famous. Like the girl for looking like herself, not for looking like someone else. This type of behavior is a follower. I don't want a follower, I want a leader.
The next thing that makes a man less attractive is poor time management and lack of communication when there is a delay. I'm very organized. If I plan to be somewhere at a certain time, 95% of the time I'll be there within the hour that I stated. I hate tardiness, but I hate when a man doesn't let me know his time frame has changed. If we made plans, I do expect both of us to honor those plans or at least communicate with each other if those plans need to be delayed or changed.
The 4th thing that makes a man less attractive is his unwillingness to emphasize my perspective, but only wants me to see things his way. I'm pretty sure this is narcissistic behavior and usually this type of person does things that are misleading to people and when it becomes a problem he then tells the narrative from his point of view without considering the other person's position. I understand that if I'm telling a story that involves other people, I'm not just sharing my business, I'm sharing a part of theirs too, so I keep my narrative open for interpretation and don't try to sway people into siding with what I said. People who try to make you think like them tend to always want control.
And the last thing that makes a man less attractive to me is his not knowing how to handle me. And this one is personal because a man would need to know me and pay attention to me to know how to handle me. Now, I've told you I've not been involved with a lot of men right, but with the men I do have experiences with I noticed one distinction with all of them and this may ruffle some feathers…
Coaching SZN
Since these men out here wanna keep bs-ing and playing games.
And that is, men from the northeast handle me better than men from the south. Now before anyone gets offended, let me explain. I'm very brash, I'm forward-thinking, strong-willed, and passionate about my views, and I can be mouthy. Southern men don't very much appreciate that. Again, I've not been involved with a lot of men, so I'm not pulling from a large database, but the men I have dealt with, the southern men, didn't handle me well when they saw other parts of my personality, and I'm not saying they should have, but with the northern men, they knew how to work around my strong characteristics and ease me when I'm being a little too much.
Let me put it to you this way, I need to be put in check sometimes, but not in a way where I'm disrespected or hurt, in a way that a man sets his dominance, shuts me up, but still makes me feel heard and love...yeah this sounds confusing and not all men can do this, like I said I've only seen this with the northeast men. I don't flinch if a man calls me, "Bitch" that's not a cruel word to me. I've been in a situation where I was popping off at the mouth with a guy I was dating and he just smacked his hands together and said, "Bitch! Stfu, and let me talk to you." I'm not saying this is appropriate, but he knew how to get my attention and even though I was still mad, I did stop talking because all he wanted for us to do was have a calm conversation about what I was upset about.
Southern men are different in the way that they don't talk to me like that. The ones that I've been with seem to avoid or run away from trying to resolve issues with me and that causes a little resentment. But outside of any problems, southern men are more chivalrous and gentlemanly, they speak to me very patiently and cater to me as a woman (well, most of them are like this, the other ones are riding on their bs...they know who they are). And I appreciate the southern men for these sweet qualities. Although, if I were to come across a man with both northern masculinity and southern hospitality, yeah...I'd probably break my celibacy and give him the goods. I'd let him take full advantage of me. Might even fly him out on vacation and buy him a short set. And get him some steak and lobster too.
Let me not think about that for too long before I lose my composure. Anyways, so these are the types of things that turn me off from a man. What about you ladies?
