I'm a professional creeper, who is overly dramatic, living through filters, doesn't know when to stop eating, complains about my weight but, won't exercise, likes to shop, prefers my lighting to be just right, and is emotionally unavailable = why I am single.
There is some truth to my above foolishness, so let me explain...
For many years, I've not had to consider anyone's plans but, my own. I've not had to coddle a man's emotions nor be extra affectionate when he's having a bad day. I've not continuously had to think about anyone but, me. This is not to say, I don't know how to be the type of woman who is in full support of her partner, I was her once, and this is also not to say I cannot be her again, I can. I just did not want to be the woman who is immediately in the next relationship. I've been so determined to reach certain levels in life that I've not opened up to the possibility of a relationship. It would not be fair of me to expect a man to be completely ready for me but, me not be completely ready for him.
I don't want to be half a woman wanting a full man, nor do I want half a man. Granted, there are some things that may improve in my life when I have a partner but, I am not relying on that potential. I am relying on my own results and what I am able to do.
Many men could not comprehend my views or hesitation, so they would conclude the follow to be true for them:
She's too high maintenance.
She doesn't know what she's missing.
She can't handle my honesty.
She just wants to play games.
Her standards are too high.
She must already have a man.
She's young-minded.
I really do not entertain these types of thoughts. If that's what a man thinks of me to make him feel better, then so be it. And one thing that irritates my soul is when a man is trying to justify how great he is and mentioning how many other women want him...Good for you Sir, you should go call them and get out of my way. Let me not deflate your ego, and you can leave me all they way alone since you cannot be patient enough to really know me.
*I once told a man flat out, I was not interested in him. I'm not sure how that could be misunderstood but, he proceeded to go on telling me how much of a good person he is...obviously that did not help him at all.
Yes, I am a woman whom has went through certain experiences that has made me be very cautious; made me be more observant, more patient, more understanding, more analytical with a man's perspective vs. a woman's perspective. This does make it more challenging for a man to get through to me but, it's not impossible...if he is secure with himself and accepts what I am willing and not willing to do, he'll be able to start chipping away.