“Will You Be My Valentine? ….But From Over There.”
I lost track of this month and didn't realize Valentine's Day is coming up. What are your thoughts about this day. Do you get into it? For me it’s becoming more of a commercial novelty. I think I read somewhere that Valentine's season is one of the biggest times for retailers and I can see that. Women put a lot of weight on that day and men feel obligated.
I’ve had great Valentine's Day moments with previous lovers. One went all out for me one year and organized a dinner date on a private yacht. It was really nice, I was presented with flowers and jewelry, the chef did a five course meal, and we spent the night sailing the water. But bear in mind this lover had the means to be extravagant without breaking the bank, you can probably narrow down which lover this was if you’ve been here with me. Although, this wasn't something I asked for or was expecting, he did it on his own. I told him I just wanted to spend the day with him. With another previous lover, we just stayed home, cooked dinner, and watched TV, and I enjoyed that too. I think what means the most to me is who I’m spending that time with and who wants to spend that time with me.
So I ask again, what do you feel about Valentine's Day? Is it important or is it only important to you because it’s important to someone else? And I’ll through this question in here too. To those of you in extramarital situations how are you managing that? In my opinion, if you are the side person, you should know your place and not really have expectations at all. If you want someone to celebrate you on Valentine's Day, be with someone who already doesn't have commitments. That may sound cold hearted, but am I wrong? Their home life comes first. You should know that, not matter what you feel or being told.
And if you are the married one with someone on the side, if that side person is expecting to spend time with you or expecting gifts from you, then you're probably mishandling that situation. Unless, you're going to do it just to make sure that person doesn't start to cause issues towards your marriage, but wouldn't that be counterproductive? I mean who has the upper hand here? I’m pretty sure you can find a side person who understands and accepts their role without giving you grief when you're not available. It becomes a problem when you get too involved and allow someone to feel comfortable enough to expect you to do certain things for them. You should never allow someone outside of your marriage to feel like they have more stake in you than your spouse. That's lesson one from the book of foolery ghost written by my married friends. Also, another lesson they’ve shared is don’t showcase your side situation like it’s the main and only situation. You’re main and only is your spouse, anyone else is an option of desire. That may be hard to hear, but again, am I wrong or are my friends wrong?
I’m not against Valentine's Day, I just have no reason to put any significant thoughts on it right now. I’ll probably just do my same things I do any other day, put on some clothes, feel great, and be me. For those of you who will be spending it with someone or wanting to spend it with someone, I hope you receive what you deserve. But before you get your hopes up, be realistic about the person you're involved with. Are they and can they give you what you want without you making a fuss over it?
Be safe everyone.
