There's many men who think they are leaders, and then there's men who just lead. A man who knows how to lead doesn't leave you confused or unsure about where you stand with him or whether you're important to him. If a man tells you that you're connection with him, or your history with him, or your time with him is no different than what he is sharing or has shared with someone else (especially if that someone is another woman), then that man either is
1. He is not leading you anywhere
2. Your situation with him is not valuable to him to make a difference from the past women he’s been involved with.
For instance, if a man is telling me that my experiences with him are no different than his experiences with other women, then I’m going to feel like he doesn’t really value me that much and I'm not really that important to him, in which case there's no reason I should allow him to lead me.
Here’s the thing, ladies, when you're getting to know a man or starting to get more involved with a man, you do have to let him lead in certain ways, but not every man can do that. Not every man should be given that opportunity to lead you, especially if he’s not making it clear what his intentions are with you.
A man who leads will make a solid decision about you and let you know what that decision is. He makes an effort for you. He tells you he wants to see you. He does what he says he’ll do. He's not always going to do what he wants, he’ll learn what you want and make some adjustments to make you happy just as much as you make him happy. And he understands that if he is involved with a focused, driven, and ambitious woman, then she isn't always going to be available, but that's not going to make him call the next one, because he knows where the value is, and he's patient with you.
Even when I am busy or if I am handling something where I cannot give my full attention to someone, if a person reaches out to me, I try to contact them back in a timely manner just to give them a heads up that I am not avoiding them or ignoring them. What I don’t like is when I’m not available and a man makes assumptions that I’m with another man or dealing with someone else. No, if a man is really paying attention to me, then he knows I’m not doing any of that. He's not going to deflect and say or do things that have no merit. Like don’t be dismissive of me being I’m not being exactly how you want me to be.
A man who knows how to lead is self aware and reflects on decisions and actions and doesn't automatically place blame on someone else. He thinks about what he could have done better to avoid or remedy the issue. I’m trying to practice that as well. With me being very opinionated and head strong it can be very frustrating for someone to get their point across to me, this is one of the things I am very aware of with myself and also something I'm working on. And I’ve also been finding myself taking more of a backseat when there’s a dispute especially when the other person takes into consideration what I’m saying and how I may have been affected by something.
I mentioned in the last topic that I've not always been great at expressing my emotions. The reality is, my feelings do get hurt at times especially when I feel like someone doesn't really care. I feel like if a man thinks of me as important or someone he appreciates, then he'll notice when my emotions are off or he’ll notice if I’m pulling back and he’d want to know why. Because a man who knows how to lead is also a man who wants to learn how to improve his interactions and intentions with a woman. What do you all think?
Be safe everyone.
