Better Decisions

I really need women to make better decisions, especially those who keep making the same bad ones. Yes, it is great to take risks but, if you know the risk is going to give you the same result, then What.The.Whole.F are your doing? Reevaluate yourself; you cannot change others but, you can change how you react to others.

DISCLAIMER: I'm hard on women because I know how we can be. AND because I've been the silly girl before.

I'm definitely not innocent of making bad decisions, I've made PLENTY! But, instead of making the same ones over and over again, I had to look at myself and list what I could have done better or different.

You really cannot be mad or overly dramatic at someone else for the results of your poor decision making. This may be hard for some people to accept because most people have "hope" for making questionable choices...and sometimes that's blind hope.

When I was younger, my father would tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself when I was moping around the house complaining or feeling defeated. I didn't understand why he didn't comfort me more but, now I understand it.

As I see people around me, complain and talk about how bad things are for them, I begin to do a blank stare. Especially, with people who just need to make better decisions or just need to decide on SOMETHING and follow through!

❓ Don't like your job?

Take a class, get a certification, earn a degree, begin a business, add to your resume and move on. You think that's too much? Then stop fckn complaining about your job!

❓ Don't like being broke?

Well, I guess you'll need to evaluate your income vs your spending!

This part was hard for me since I like fancy things but, I had to buckle down and set aside my money in 4 categories: Bills, savings, kids, and personal spending. I've also opened myself to having more than one stream of income. If I like spending, I need to be making.

BUT WOMEN REALLY MAKE THE WORST DECISIONS WHEN IT COMES TO MEN...

❓❓ Don't like your relationship? Welp, again you can't change others but, you can change your level of happiness. So, stop fckn acting like you're confused or don't understand why things aren't going right. Move the fck on! Many of times, YOU are the reason for your broken heart; holding to someone who you know isn't for you. It's like you're saying to yourself, "Okay, I'm good to get hurt again."

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Raya Laephuang

Writer | Photographer | Intrigued with Human Behavior

“I read the world around me.”

90% of Women, Is this True?

I was scrolling through my social media feed and saw this...

I read a few comments that followed this and saw some backlash from women and men over this statement.  Yet, I cannot be sure if Trevor Noah actually said these words and I'm not one of those people that think...It's on the internet, he musta said it! 

Whether or not he said this, I can see some TRUTH in this statement. 

There are still a large number of women who believe it is their right or even responsibility to appease men in exchange for a "comfortable" life. Meaning keep looking gorgeous and keep up with his libido.  Instagram is full of beautiful women showing their "surface" to lure attention. I suppose we may be asking to much if we want these women to show another side of them like cooking, speaking in a motivational seminar, or volunteering in the community…I mean, that’s not sexy right? (Sarcasm people). Pretty images and sex relate to one another. Ladies, how many times have you seen an Hanes ad with a man only in his brief and think, “Yeah, I’d give it all to him.”   But men are not innocent in this either; you guys like to look as much as women like to show and there are men who are willing to spend the money to get the pretty trophy.

But let’s look into a deeper aspect. Oscar Wilde wrote in one of his books, “Woman love with their ears, just as men love with their eyes. If they ever love at all.” This thought has been rephrased over and over such as, “Women are emotional lovers and men are physical lovers.” etc.

Keep in mind, sometimes you get what you see. Yes, sometimes all it is is just a pretty face and a woman who expects to be a “kept woman”. Although fellas, if that is what you want, then don’t mind my thoughts.

Yet, sometimes you will run across an overly filtered picture and that pretty face isn’t what you recognize in real life….catfish anyone?

Personally, I never want to give a man the financial upper hand over me.  His money may be important, but so is mine.

For so long now, I have subconsciously been striving to not be part of this 90%  or whatever percent the truth is.  I don't have to make more money than a man or even have the same salary but, I do have to make enough money to obtain my own wants and needs.  And as for sex, that is our private business.

Yes, in general the sexes love differently, but it is only looks/sex and money that get us there? What is it that keeps us in a relationship or even “in love” for that matter? Comfort? Stability? Not wanting to start over? Fear of being alone? Tradition?

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Raya Laephuang

Writer | Photographer | Intrigued with Human Behavior

“I read the world around me.”

Forgiveness & Apologies

We all have flaws and make faults onto others, but should it always be held against us? Especially if we've changed our mindset?

Forgiveness isn't just a religious practice, it's for you to gain peace of mind. It is for you to release a burden that can imprison your heart. We forgive for us. Similar to an apology, many times an apology is more for the person giving it than the one receiving it. They are intended for all parties to feel better. But, sometimes only one side is granted the benefit.

If you are apologizing, what is the purpose? You did something wrong and you want to share your acknowledgment of the disappointment you presented. Yet, the fact that you acknowledged your faults is an unwritten achievement within yourself. So, apologizing is an attempt for others to know that you've already identified what you need to work on.

If you are the one receiving an apology, how does it make you feel? Are you released of the disappointment or do you still feel slighted? In which case, why hold that grudge? Once you get over being hurt, does hearing an apology change anything within you? Within your life? The upside is the fact that you've now heard someone state their flaw.

I'll accept any apology given to me but, if I'm waiting on someone to apologize then I need to question why I'm holding on to that feeling. Why do I need to hear "I'm sorry" to gain closure, peace, or freedom? What good does it do me to "expect" an apology?

I usually forgive before ever hearing an apology.