I love how everyone has a say on how to raise kids, but what is it we really want out of our children? To grow up and be positive and progressive functioning members of society. Yes?
There are tons of books written by "experts" advising you on how to be a good parent and raise perfect offspring. Those books did not see a penny from me. Although, every now and then I come across articles that give me insight on "good parenting".
Want to Raise Successful Kids? Science Says These 5 Habits Matter Most
7 Tips on How to Raise Successful Children According to Science
Science Say Parents of Successful Kids Have These 24 Things in Common
First, let's point out the obvious in each of these titles, science. But don't let that steer you away, it's more of studies and interviews than pills and potions. Each of the articles address reflections of behavior from adults. -- Human behavior is a studying science.
How we parent will affect how our children become. Teaching your children patience, kindness, acceptance, empathy, and encouraging them to explore their interests promotes a healthy relationship between parent and child. That is the goal, right? Being able to talk with your children through life's major and minor obstacles. We also should remember that just as we made mistakes growing up, our kids will too. So allowing them to fall is not bad parenting. Let them learn about faults and failure and teach them to be aware of their decisions instead of overreacting towards them because...are YOU perfect?
Yes, we want are kids to be great, do good things, get high marks in school, win, and stay out of trouble, but how realistic is that? When we put too much on the youth, they can develop mental wellness concerns that hinders their views and understanding of the world. Stress, anxiety, and depression are not void of taking hold of people under 18 or 21. If your expectations are too high to or not even practical, your kids can become overwhelmed to appease you.
Display the expectations you want your kids to mirror, but you won't be their only role model and that's okay. The relationships you build with your children will reflect on the types role models they chose to admire. Even when you are not directly interacting with kids, they see and hear more than you may perceive. The way you speak to strangers, the way you treat service workers, the way you handle a conflict, the way you act towards loved ones, the way you take care of yourself, the way you express your thoughts or emotions, the types of relationships you foster, the kinds of people you bring them around -- children are either going to strive to be like you or look elsewhere for what you have not shown them.
I raise and treat my kids in a way where they know I love and support them, but they also know there are kinds of behaviors I will not tolerate. I am not blinded by the love I have for my kids; I know they can be in bad form at times. My kids do challenge their elders, most time it is when they want more clarity, which is acceptable, but other times it's an observation they made hidden under sarcasm and sass; that is something they see from me. I speak to my kids as if they are inexperienced adults because in actuality, that is what they are; young people who will grow up to have a life with little or without my direct influence. -- Hopefully, my guidance remains with them. They are surprisingly quick-witted for their age of knowledge and they can articulate understanding within their own world. But what is it that I do? I help bridge the gaps of ignorance, pain, loss, judgments, misfortunes, and misunderstanding to the bigger world.
