“I Don’t Want To Be Anything Else Other Than A Woman.”
It is women’s history month so let’s just embrace being feminine. Women just have this allure about them. My friends keep claiming there's such thing as pretty privilege and double down that I have it. But I firmly believe that my persona is what grants me grace. Don’t get me wrong, I know how I look and I do lean into my features, but those aren’t my best qualities. My loved ones may say different things if they were asked what they love most about me, but the one common denominator is that I show up for them. I’ve learned that people avoid you when they know they've hurt you and there have been times where I still show up for those individuals. I guess what I’m saying is having heart is the best quality someone can have. I know I care more than I should at times. I know I give to much grace to people at times. I know I allow people to disappoint me at times. But I also know that with any difficulty I face, and what broken pieces are left behind, I will always preserver.
So ladies, no matter what your status is or where you're at in life what is something that makes you feel uplifted and unbreakable? I really want you to pull out your confidence. I’m strong in that area and there's no reason you can't be either. Well unless you're just mindless girl who lacks direction and value, then I highly suggest you start making better decisions for yourself. Someone who isn't on a path of prosperity, love, and growth will always feel intimidated and insecure around someone who is on that path. I’ve come across plenty girls who are intimidated by my presence, but I keep in mind that’s not something I can control, it’s something that is internal within those people. So again, ladies what is your motivation, your determining factors that gets your mind going and your feet moving? Don’t just be beautiful on the outside. And if you do get insecure around another woman, look into yourself and figure out what you think is lacking in your self-esteem or your life. Then make a plan to change directions.
My thing is, I try to welcome everyone, but if I'm not really friends with you or well acquainted with you and you do something to spite me or try to show me up, you’ve lost all grace from me. I’m a very likable person, I’m usually smiling and laughing when I’m around people and I will continue to smile and laugh around people who don't favor me, because my confidence doesn't come from them. It comes from the ones who love me and stand by me. There's a blurred line with confidence that you get from within yourself and the confidence you gain from others. My confidence doesn't come from anyone who doesn’t consider me or anyone who disregards me or takes my kindness for granted.
I’m a woman, even though I have a strong personality, I’m soft and pink at my core. There’s still things you have to be delicate with especially since I love delicately (I’ll explain that more in another topic). Women are sensitive creatures. And we love people wholly even when the love is blind and we can’t see that we’re loving the wrong people. But hey that wrong love was right for that moment. Women are complex beings. We go through so much internally that it can be hard to express it externally. I don't think the men I loved really understood me and part of that was me not fully opening up to them. Because at times I felt I had to be what they wanted me to be. Yes, I was once the girl who let men become part of my identity, there's nothing wrong with that if you're in a healthy bond with someone. My bond with the men I loved had unraveling pieces due to things not being said or shared. And I think that's why traditional relationships just won’t work for me, I’ve become an untraditional woman. Even the people in my circle are untraditional, I mean the friends I mentioned, you can tell they are untraditional. I don’t believe that one person should know everything about you. I recently found out something about a friend that made me even be more impressed with them. I love when people have an element of mystery in them, especially women. We are the Sirens.
Plus, there’s something classy about a mysterious woman, even a mysterious man — but fellas this topic isn’t about you today. Although, I’ll include you in this little piece. If you believe yourself to be a good man, even a “Good Man” like Savannah had in Waiting to Exhale, then connect with a good women who aren’t about being easy, Connect yourself with women who embody the qualities you’d want your own daughter to have. Connect with a woman who still presents herself with dignity when people try to break her. Connect with a woman who you see other good people rally for. Connect with a woman who is more than what she can do for you, but also what she can and has done for herself. Fellas, in a world of superficial ideals, don’t be a superficial man, don’t be a low value man, and don’t be an ashamed man. You are entitled to your mistakes and bad choices, but you are also responsible for repairing the parts you broke. For instance, my one and only ex, in his heart I do believe he wanted to repair what he broke with me, but in practice, he just didn’t have the aptitude to do it and I no longer had the energy to be patient or any more chances to give. This is the case for a lot of men I noticed. What they want to do and what they actually do isn’t aligned.
Ladies, yes, it can be difficult to navigate these new aged men. Even the grown ones have seemed to slip into instant gratification mindset and getting easily sucked into these newer generation’s appeals, but don’t feel you and to adopt those attributes to be seen. You are worth being seen as you are. If you have some personality flaws, no worries, as long as you identify them and working on yourself to be better, that’s all you can do. Just please, don’t aspire to be one of these women whose ready to fight anytime someone looks at them wrong. That’s why I cannot watch most of these reality shows, it’s all about gossip, getting back at someone, and fighting with each other. Please don’t think this is how you should be. Refer back to these topics, Learn Some Class, Embrace Growth, and Our Options, if you need a reminder of how you can be unperfect and still be an amazing person. I am not a feminist, but I do believe women should be more supportive of each other, but again, if you are nasty towards me or anyone I love, yeah….you’ll have to do a lot to dig yourself out of that hole.
Be safe everyone.
