“When your mind is disciplined, your body will be too.”
The idea that you have so many options as far as romantic partners has some fallacy behind it. Although, there may be many possibilities of choices, it doesn’t mean they are actual options. For instance, a willing high school student isn’t an option for an adult who is not looking to be arrested and charged with sexual abuse of a minor. But let’s look at this in another way. For me, anyone I directly work with is not an option. Anyone under 35 is not an option. Anyone without their own transportation or living space is not an option. And this isn’t because I am high maintenance, it is more so why would you have not secured certain essentials? I guess this would be more of what you prefer, but I do prefer someone who has the main essentials in life. I think it also has to do with priorities as well and maybe a little bit of how you were raised or what was taught to you as far as what is important to have.
Much like in my last post about maintaining a good pH balance, I shared that I’ve not been intimately involved with anyone and that’s by choice, not because no one has shown interest. Due to what my life is like right now, with work, growing my freelance business, my studies, and the dynamics of my family obligations, I have a lot on my plate right now and I do not know of any man who will be patient and understanding of that, which leaves me to having “no options” for intimate companions. Especially with regards to my academics. I knew that the courses would get more involved as I progressed further. I just started my Spring term 2 weeks ago and only 3 more to go! I am so close it makes me feel anxious and excited. And I don’t need some man downplaying my goals and my lack of availability because I'm trying to reach higher. I’ve barely spoken to any of my friends the last few weeks because I've been spending most of my free time reading, writing, and preparing for the next phase of my research. I'm not trying to wait until the last term to get everything done, so I'm serious about my time right now. I’ll breakout every now and then to hang out with people, but I still need to stay focused.
And like I mentioned several times, I am choosy with who I allow to see me in a certain light. The practice of remaining celibate wasn’t something I planned, it’s just how it’s playing out because of my standards and boundaries.
I am not suggesting anyone to be the same way, do what works best for you. But, I rather not waste my time or play games with some 20-something year old just for quick thrills. No, I’ve got to see something in you other than just a few common interest and sex. There’s plenty of young men who want to see more about me, but I know there’s nothing that will come of it, so I don’t even play with the thought. If I was the cheap thrills type of person or had a one night stand type of mentality, I’d probably be thinking about all of this differently, but I’m not like that, so here we are. And I not saying I require a serious relationship. No, but I do require someone to be serious about me, if that makes any sense. He does not have to revolved his life or decisions around me, but I’d appreciate consideration for me when he is doing something or planning to do something that may affect me whether positively or negatively.
Ladies we have to take accountability for our decisions just as much as we expect men to do it. A very attractive man or woman may have plenty of people wanting their attention, but YOU decide who gets it and the type of person or the caliber of person you decide to choose can say a lot about who you are. You can have a great connection with anyone, but you've got to be emotionally intelligent enough and self-aware enough to not get too wrapped up in someone who:
1. Can't or won't understand what you want or trying to do.
2. Manipulate you into feeling guilty about your personal goals or standards.
3. Wants to be with you to benefit off your status or success
4. Doesn't see you as an equal person and doesn't consider your happiness and comfort
5. Someone who isn't emotionally intelligent and self-aware themselves who won't acknowledge their flaws to better themselves for the sake of being a better person.
I've seen my friends get involved with certain types of people and I think, oh that was a vulnerable choice and it never lasts for them, but I don't say anything because sometimes people get defensive when you point out their deficiencies, because they don't want to believe they make poor decisions because they've gotten their emotions too involved with someone who doesn't align well with them. Like I said, you can have a great connection with anyone, but you don't have to emotionally or intimately connect with them. But hey, that's your choice and sometimes we need to make the wrong ones to learn and eventually make the right ones. But remember, everyone who's interested in you doesn't mean they're an option for you.
Be safe everyone.
