“I like when people show a side of them that they’ve never shown me before.”
One of my lovely readers asked me this question:
Have you ever been the one who got away for someone?
Honestly, I really don’t know. And to be even more honest with you, I don’t think that is something I want to know. I feel like if I were to know something like that it would linger in the back of my mind and I don’t need those extended thoughts swirling around in my head. Would you want to know if you were someone’s the “one who got away'“?
What makes someone the “one who got away”? Because every separation or breakup cannot be that person. So here is my opinion on what would classify a person for that title and you can let me know if you agree or have anything to add. I think the “one who got away” is someone who met all your expectations for instance:
You were physically attracted to them
They cared for your well-being
They showed their consideration for you
You felt comfortable around them
You felt you could talk to them about anything
They motivated you
They encouraged you to do amazing things
They supported your ambitions
They talked to you about any concerns or troubles they had
They listen and gave you constructive feedback
Your friends and/or family liked them
You were not ashamed of who they were in any way
You were proud of what they have accomplished or what they did for a living
Does this list seem accurate? Although, on the other side of it, I think what also make a person the “one who got away” is YOU. As great as this person was, there was something they could no longer accepted from you. So we have to look at ourselves too. Were we or ARE we the ideal partner for someone? Do WE meet all the items on the list?
I know for me, I am the oldest of my siblings, and I’m a mother, so many times my motherly instincts kick in with my lovers and I develop concern for things they do or tell me about. Even when I am upset, I still worry and care and I do not think a lot of people are receptive to that because I may come across overbearing and they just lean more on being distant while they are upset. But, in the same breathe, I also become distant at times when I just need a moment to decompress, not from the relationship or connection, but just over all, because remember, when we reach a certain level or status in life, our romantic connections are NOT the only things on our minds. I’m passed the period of being in a man’s shadow and not seeing about my own wants and needs, including the wants and needs of other people in my life. There’s responsibilities I have for my family, responsibilities for work, responsibilities for my studies, etc. Someone cannot expect me to be 100% available to them. In fact someone said to me that it seems like I want to be more with myself than with someone and that it won’t work with anyone who wants something serious with me. I didn't know how to take that and I still don't know how to take that. The reality is, how I saw my future when I was younger is not how I see my future now.
Back to the topic, no I don't know if I am someone's the “one who got away” and I don’t want to know. Or even if someone still has strong feelings for me, I'm not sure if I want to know that either. What would I do with that information? I don't want to take advantage of anyone's feelings. With all of my previous lovers, there's still some emotional ____________ with them. Some of it is good and some not so good 😕. But it’s still there. And if there's ever a mutual reconnection with any of them, we’d be approaching each other as different individuals than when we were last together or at least I hope so. I hope that we’ve become more conscious of our flaws and made attempts to improve ourselves. I think it be best going into it just having an open discussion with one another. So if I were to rekindle feelings for someone, I wouldn't be the “one who got away” because he’d have me again. Or I wouldn't be the “one who got away” for him, but maybe someone else? 🤔
