Ummmmmm....I'm not going to say I do this and I'm not going to say I don't do this. What I will say is that sometimes learning people is about strategy. Especially when conflict arises, observe what they do, what they say, how they say it, and how they react to your responses, if you give any, in which case, how they react to your silence. Take mental notes and access your conclusion. Then decide whether a person is interesting enough to learn more of or if a person needs to become an absent thought.
Conflicts can allow you to see a different side of a person. Are they stable enough to decipher all parts and still protect their involvement with you or do they get so caught up in their emotions and go rouge that there is no longer a filter to what they say. Usually, when someone lashes out without pausing to listen, they are showing you all you need to see. Just sit there and let them feel like they are being heard while you are thinking up the fastest exit out of this connection.
I believe I've had enough serious, life changing conflicts to not want to entertain any silly or minuscule ones. So I don't, especially with men...What?...Would you rather me be passive aggressive the next time I see a guy who I digressed from and I act like there is no issue but yet, I proceed to make comments to him and handle him in such a way that discretely digs into his hidden insecurities subconsciously making him wish he never said or did anything wrong to me, all while I am smiling, flipping my hair, and sipping on my drink?...Not saying I've done that before...But, a man who wears a mask and takes it off, won't ever have to put that mask back on for me again.....like this dude...
I need to start making a collage of massages like this. I do not know why they feel the need to make it known "It's cool, I'm not bothered."...Okay, so why am I getting this kind of message from you?...Some men get so beside themselves and behave like women. I am fine with a man being expressive and having feelings but, I really give my stale face (-_-) to men who react this way after only a few conversations with me.
This message in particular was from an older gentleman, I knew how old he was before I agreed to meet him...so, I don't know where he is coming from by mentioning his age....I was even the one who suggested on meeting for lunch and he thought of the location. During our meal he mentioned that he was not looking to be serious with anyone, just wanted to mingle and have fun. He seemed very hedonistic about it. He said he just likes to be out and enjoy himself. I had no issues with that since I am not one to jump into any type of relationship....so, I am a bit confused with his statement of knowing who he is and what he can offer a woman...huh?...Again, no clue where he is coming from with that.
I also learned that he worked overnights and usually has a busy schedule. I told him to let me know when he was available and we can hang out again. I heard from him a few times after our lunch but, he never attempted to make plans with me, I guess he thought I would make the first suggestion again....you know my views on this, a man must take the lead when learning a woman....And him being "so observant" by saying I like thugs and worthless men is derived off pictures he seen of me taken with my two of my male friends, who were dressed in polos and jeans and one of them had a baseball cap on. Mind you, both of my friends are muscular and very diesel looking BUT, they are far from being thugs or worthless. As a matter of fact, they both have stable jobs, their own vehicles, their own places, very much involved with their children, very respectful to women, and not to mention, the night I hung out with them, they both checked up on me to make sure I made it home just fine....and yet, this man had a few quirks about him that was a bit questionable but, let me not judge him for what he is not aware of...because "Classy I am!" So again, once the mask comes off, do not bother putting it back on.
P.S. - This is mainly why I hate doing one on one meet and greets or "dates".