Just A Few Minutes

February 12, 2023

“There's men who really don’t appreciate a woman who has her own, they instead go for someone who wants to be his dependent.”

So I saw this statement on one of my social media feeds, take a second to read it.

Fellas, I know some of you are on here and I'll tell you right now, THIS IS SOOOOO ABSOLUTELY TRUE! And let me explain why…

When we are taking care of ourselves, there’s no charade or showboating. We know exactly what we want and exactly what area of the Hello Kitty to focus on. My only audience is me.

The Effort Series

When I tell you this dress turned heads…IT TURNED HEADS!

With a man, and I can only speak for myself, but when I’m with a man I want the full experience, the kissing, touching, hugging, the tease, the foreplay, the talking, I want it all and I want it to last longer than a few minutes. But when it’s just me, there's no need for all of that, I just need to clear my head and it won’t take me long to do that. So yeah, we only need a few minutes. 😼

For those of you who don’t know what a rose is, it’s a toy that looks like a rose and the middle peddle vibrates and moves a different speeds depending on the setting you put it on. This toy has great marketing and has a lot of good reviews and I can tell you it lives up to the hype and all the reviews are accurate. 😼💦

Bedroom Moves

January 10, 2023

2 Part Audio.

Before we start… I want to say something to some of the ladies here. The reader who sent me this video disclosed to me that a man she used to be involved with now is surrounding himself with several younger women. Ladies, if these men want to be like Puff/Diddy, let them have their free spirited, don’t gave a damn about anything but drinks and smoke and living on a whim type girls, let them have it. Whatever they’re going through or whatever attention or validation they need from those girls, let them have it.

But let’s be clear, Puff has created his own empire, his own world and how he manages his life isn't how most of these man manage theirs. Once you see a man entertain a much younger woman and barely interacts with you, Baby, he's not for you and you're not for him. Because if he was a man of your stature, he wouldn't be giving all his attention to girls who still need years to catch up to where you are. Baby, it’s okay, because you're going to find a man who loves you at your age and admires all that you've accomplished and kiss all your pains away. Don't worry about these 40/50 year old men who still likes young ass on them, there’s an identity issue there, and you don't need his issues to be yours. Stay who you are and the right one will love you for it. Ok? Hugs and kisses. 😘

Now let’s move on…..

Obviously, this topic isn’t for me. It’s for all you sexually active lovers. How’s life over there? You like it? Surprisingly, I do not miss sex as much as people expect me to. I guess people assume that I’m this sexual deviant who has to have a different lover every month to feed my lustful appetite. — Ummmm, NO. I want an authentic mental connection with someone. I don’t want someone just to skim through my pages, I want him to carefully read through my lines and find the hidden stories that I keep from the world. I want someone to know my flaws and still be patient enough to see me as someone who constantly willing to learn the life around me. I also want someone to see that I don’t give up easily and that I’m loyal to the end even when I’m hurting and being misunderstood. The point is, don’t take me at face value because I’m more than what I show people.

So I read a few articles about sex and how to best please your partner and how to keep things exciting between the two of you. I’m just going to summarized what I read and tag the articles separately.

Types of Sex Couples Should Have:

Morning Sex - What’s not great about starting your day with some penetration?
Spontaneous Sex - I love this kind of sex. It’s unexpected, passionate, and all the juices are just flowing making every moment exciting.
Make Up Sex - I like think type of sex too. Your emotions are involved, the anger and love mixed into one and you forget about all the problems and just look into each other.
Romantic Sex - This is probably more in my lane because I’m a sensual person. I love the tender kisses. I love being held and looking into each other’s souls and infusing our bond with a deeper connection. (Pun intended).

Praise Kink - This is not a new concept, but it’s a new term for talking during sex and saying things that praise your partner such as:

You're such a good girl/boy.
It’s so big.
No one can do it like you.
You are the best.

You're so good at [insert skill].
You look so good when you [insert activity].
You taste so good.
Just like that… keep going.
You feel so [insert verb or adjective]
*This isn’t a praise kink, but I love hearing a man moan, such a turn on

Sex Pillows - You can buy special pillows to make the feeling more pleasurable for you and your partner, but you can really use any firm pillow; it’s where you position it that matters. When the woman is on the bottom and facing you, put the pillow right under the hips, if she’s turned around, put the pillow under the lower stomach. If the man is on the bottom, have him sitting slightly up with the pillow supporting his back. The pillow position option helps with better pivotal points and makes the sensation more exciting, plus with the man on the bottom, having the pillow behind him gets his body closer to yours and more opportunities for neck kisses and…ummmm…nipple attention.

And I want to add this last one, it’s not a sex thing, and of course I’ve not been able to do this because I’m keeping men away from me and completely avoiding them 😂, but I would love just lay in bed with a man and sit my legs on him while he’s watching to TV and I'm in my glasses typing away on my laptop. I'm a square huh? I’m okay with that because I know there's a man who's going to love that I just like to chill out and do simple things. We’ll show out every now and then, but home is where the heart is and I want to feel like home to a man. Stay safe out there. 😉

Article References for Types of Sex and Praise Kinks: www.xonecole.com (Necole started out as a celebrity blogger and now focuses her topics on women’s empowerment, relationships, business, health and wellness).

Selfish

January 1, 2023

Don’t feel like reading? Listen instead.

So lets start this new year on a high note. All last year I advocated for you all to love people, give them grace, give them time and space to get through their own dealings or whatever they need to go through but don't forget to do this for yourself too. Be Selfish with yourself, your mind, your body, your spirit. Everyone doesn't always deserve your time and energy. You need to keep some for yourself too. One week I can be very social and talk or text someone every day and the next week, you may barely hear from me. This does not mean anything is wrong (although, keep in mind it’s still good practice to check on people, just incase there is an issue), but most of the time I allocate my time and energy sparingly.

Last week I watched a dear friend try to hold back the tears when talking about a loved one he recently lost, but I couldn't hold back tears and even though it wasn't my loss, I still needed time to decompress the emotions I had for my friend and his family. I only reached out to people who knew him also and closed myself off to those who didn't know him or the family. I send comforting messages to all those people and even the one person I have a colorful history with, I decided months ago and I would not let any past issues to get in the way of sharing love towards him too…despite hearing and seeing certain things, but I’m not making that important because not letting go of pain keeps us in that moment and doesn't allow us to move forward (maybe one day we’ll be able to have a reasonable discussion about the little details, probably on a day that doesn’t end with “Y” - inside joke). Anyway, I tend get very selective during sensitive circumstances because I know I cannot fully be myself when I'm affected by something. So yes, people may hear less from me when I do this.

When things occur that make us emotional or requires making multiple decisions, we have to separate ourselves from the world to focus. I have a very unhealthy habit of suppressing my emotions and eventually it affects my decisions and how I behave. Some people see me as cold and standoffish while others see me as warm, but extremely private. I never liked sharing all of my news whether good or bad to people. I guess that’s selfish of me, but it also helps me think through what I want for myself. People are not one dimensional, we have layers and I don’t always pull back all of mine. And how I make decisions or get through things is something I am going to continuously learn to do because every situation isn’t going to require the same thoughts. I always want to be bettering myself whether or not people see that. Those who understand the process of growth, also understand the growing pains.

Enough with the cerebral talk…with keeping on the topic of being selfish, Fellas you can stop here. Ladies, to those of you who are on the same path as me and keeping your goods to yourself until someone helps you decide otherwise, I came across this very interesting necklace. And if you read my post about pH Balance, I am still very serious about not letting anyone mess that up and I don’t know about all women, but my pH balance is very sensitive. My body can tell within hours if something is not right with my Hello Kitty. Even when I was trying out different soaps and body washes, that girl down there let me know right away what she did and didn’t like. But anyways, about this special necklace, Ladies go ahead an use the CONTACT ME feature to learn more about what I found and to those of you who already know about it, we can share notes.

Make It Mean Something

October 23, 2022

Don’t feel like reading? Listen instead.

I got a few comments from you guys from the last post about one of my guy friends who doesn’t like it when I wear revealing clothes. Some of you feel he is a great friend for wanting to keep my safe, while others thinks that he should not have a say in what I wear. Let me defend my friend here….

He wholeheartedly cares about me, we have known each other since we were kids and have seen each other through many life events. He did not and does not like my ex, but he tolerated him out of respect for me, so of course he was elated when I left that relationship behind me. But as far as him being particular with what I wear, it’s only when he and I hang out where we were raised the men in the northeast are a bit more aggressive than men from other areas. Sometimes it’s harmless and it’s just in their nature or demeanor, other times it can get out of hand and that’s why my friend feels the way he feels about me showing a little to much body. He’s had to step in against his own friends who tried to be a little too forward with me, because in his mind, not only am I a close friend, but I am also a woman and most men can physically dominate me, so he doesn’t want for me to get into a situation that could damage my life and because of that I do not mind covering up a little when I am around him.

Moving on….

You have know idea how much attention this $16 dress from Shein got!

So you guys remember when I said I decided last year that I wouldn't get intimately involved with someone? I still stand by that. The “sex only” stuff is not for me. I need it to mean something otherwise you’re wasting my time. The whole “it’s just sex” mindset can be used on those malleable girls, if you remember the video I shared from Shuler King, then you know exactly what I mean.

I want you to be of value to my life if I’m going to allow you to have a personal part of me. Give me advice, challenge my mind, share your thoughts, incorporate something of importance to you into my life. I cannot lay with you if all you can offer me is just your body, anyone can do that. I can't think of you intimately if you disappear, avoid me, or you are not available during times where I may need to lean on someone. That doesn't mean I will always need to lean on you, but at least you care enough to be there for me if I do need you. What sense does it make when you're only present when you want to have sex, but gone when I’m not at my best? In that case, You can stay gone. I do not want someone who sleeps with me and then throws in the towel when he feels he’s being pressured to be more than just a body to me.

Giving myself to someone who isn't engaged with my mind and spirit is like rewarding someone for just existing. You cannot just “exist” with me, especially if you want me, you have to add substance. I want to cherish the times I spend with you, not just clean my sheets each time. I want to laugh together, eat together, talk about our days together, I value companionship.

Now, with that being said, my schedule isn't so open to always have time for companionship, but with someone who doesn't get upset, make assumptions, and is understanding of times I need to work, study, be with family, catch up with friends, or to just be alone, then he’ll definitely get my efforts to show him my appreciation. Even if it does not become anything very serious, I still want it to mean something while we’re doing this.

Are You Worth Changing My PH Balance For?

October 10, 2022

*Postings have been a little off schedule lately; normally live on Tuesday mornings, but I’m still getting a handle of my different schedules. Bare with me. 😬

Don’t fee like reading? Listen instead.

I made the decision late last year that I would not get intimately involved with anyone. I didn’t give myself a deadline on when I should get involved or what criteria a man should have before considering breaking my solidarity. If there is an impressive gentleman who comes my way or catches off guard, I’ll deal with my emotions and decisions then. But for now, it is a decision I made for myself for very personal reasons. Some of my friends know why and those who don’t know why always seem to ask me the following:

Don’t you get lonely?
What happens when you get into the mood?

“I'm So Pretty And He Like That” by King Manyara (Song is NSFW)

I feel like these are very simple answers. No I do not ever feel lonely, not because I have my family and friends, but because I enjoy my alone time and make the most of it even when I’m not doing much. And as far as getting into the mood….Ladies, c’mon. We know how to fix that and it doesn’t required another person. 😈

I'm not going to lie, ladies and gentlemen, there are times where I’d like to get a phone call or text message telling me to come out and enjoy the evening with him, but my phone is so dry that the only times it makes any noise is when my boss calls, one of my clients call, or when my classmates send me a message about an assignment. 😐

But I also feel that with people being casual with whomever and how many ever, I don’t need to be concerned about my health more than I have already been. And I definitely cannot allow bad energy in my life, nor can I accept for a man to take advantage of my willingness to understand and be a little laid back with some things other women may have an issue with.

I would definitely like having a male friend who I can be comfortable enough with to be in my underwear around him without him wanting to take it too far, like having the companionship with a man, but without the sex.

I’ve always thought sex as a personal and sacred connection with someone. That's not to say I’ve never had casual connections with people, I'm just not one who shares myself with many people. I know there are women who sleep with several different men within a short period of time, like a month, and I can't see myself doing that. And I don’t judge anyone who are more free with sex and people. Let your freak flag fly, but I rather have my freak flag fly in only 1 yard.

Because my shirt is a bit form fitting, someone asked, “Is that a kids shirt?” I said, “Yes, your daddy gave it to me because he calls me *Baby*.” 😈
P.S. - I want someone who can't keep his hands off me even when I act like I don't want him to. 😼

pH balance is referred to as an acid-base balance, it is the level of acids and bases in your blood at which your body functions best. It's important for women to maintain a healthy pH balance and ladies if you do not already know this, at different stages in our lives our pH balance changes due to other changes in our bodies. An unhealthy pH balance causes several uncomfortable things 😬 especially for your Hello Kitty and makes your girl down there feel sick 😫 🤒.

Men can affect your pH balance if they don't take care of themselves or are carrying residue and bacteria from other women. EWL. In chemistry, not all chemicals mix well. So with that in mind, I’m not so eager to share my Hello Kitty with anyone, she's more like a No No Kitty right now 😼. I’ll keep using my body washes and natural oils to keep my 🐱 healthy. And I cannot be sure if anyone else does the same, so I'm definitely not going to let some random man fck up my pH balance. — I sleep with him, then a few days later I’m feeling a little different. Uh, no Sir!

Bless their hearts, but men can be so disgusting with their hygiene routines. As beautiful of creatures they can be because there are some gorgeous men, Sorry HANSOME men, one of friends told me to stop calling men gorgeous. Not all soap is good soap and many of them don't have a skin care routine, they just use a wet rag on their face and go. So depending on how he keeps his man parts clean, my lady parts may or may not have a good reaction to him. But it’s not only how he cleans his body, it’s also what he puts into his body that can affect your inner chemicals further effecting mine. Be safe out there everyone.

I Wish A Man Would (NSFW)

August 2, 2022

UPDATE: Some of you readers have really been paying attention because a few of you guessed correctly which number was mine. 👀😆 Others were close. I like to have a veil of modesty over me when it comes to these things, but once I've opened up to a man, that's a different story and then I'm more comfortable being forward with him. 😉

Also, a man sent this and wanted me to share: “I got a chick I used to fck with. She stopped fcking with me or whatever but I know she still feeling ya boy. Bet, if she come around with another [dude] I'm gonna take her right in front of him.” —— Ummmmm….Sir. 👀 I’m confused. Is this something you wish the girl would do??? WHAT!!! 😆 I will admit this much and I cannot speak for all women, but a man that pulls me aside or away from another man is kind of a turn on. But wait Fellas, don’t go doing this to every and any woman. You have to at least be sure she still holds a flame for you. 🔥 (Note: I don’t like a controlling or jealous man, but I love a man who knows he wants me and won't let anyone else the opportunity.)

________

Remember in Men Are Demons I mention that anytime a woman has her Chakras aligned, skin glowing, hair healthy, and waist getting smaller men always seem to pop up out of no where with, “Wyd?” — Boy! I'm minding my business, stay away from me! 😄

Although, opposite of that, have you ever been around a man you are attracted to and not sleeping with, but with one right move you would ravage him, but you don't want to say anything because you don’t want to seem forward? Same. 😄😇 Sometimes I wish men could read our minds so we don’t have to seem like “wayward” women…or is that just me? 😆 I'm so stubborn that I’ll keep holding on to my celibacy before I tell a man I want to do anything with him . If a man wants me, he better say something because I surely won’t!!! 😳😬🤐🥴🤣 — I’m very disciplined in different areas of my life and this is one of them; due to this, contrary to how I may dress and how friendly I can be, I still don’t have a history of many partners…Fam, my sh*t is precious, everyone is not deserving of it. 🙃 (Even if I’m joking around and say “I’m going hoe-ing”, I may come back home with a few new numbers in my phone, but NO BODIES! 🚫)

There is a part of me that's very strong willed, but there is another part of me that wants to be or does not mind to be…submissive. And I’m not the only one. Remember a few posts back I mentioned there was a young man who took interest to me, but I decided not to mislead him even though he shown a few highly attractive ALFA characteristics? (Sorry ladies, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I played games with that young man).

Anyway since that time I got some private comments about how some of you would like a man to make the first move. I’m going to keep this content rated “M” for Mature, but the “R” version will be in the Members Only section. I decided to throw in some of my wishes, but I’m not going to identify which one is mine. 🙃

I have this super fine trainer and every time we start our workout he helps me stretch out my body, his hand are on my waist, legs, all of that. I think he's attracted to me too but wants to keep it professional but just once JUST ONCE I want him to pull me into one of the changing rooms and _____ my _____ out. 💪🏽
I don’t know how to say this a man but when we are out in public in front of friends and people we know I want him to show PDA and kind of nasty PDA like walk up to me when I’m in mid conversation with someone grab my neck, whisper something in my ear and walk away. I want that move to let everyone know he doesn’t play about me especially in front of men who want me. 🔐
I want him to record it while he's ____ it from the ____ and then I him to tell me to ____ his ____ until he ____ and record that too. 😳
After an argument I want my man to tell me to shut up and he just does what DMX did to Keisha in Belly. 👀
Sometime I just want the dude I like to show up at my house and when I open my door he doesn’t say a word to but just pushes me against the wall and pulls my leg ____ _____ ____ and starts _____ me through my house. 🏠
During sex I want him to cuss me out and call me _____ and _____. But I’m scared he may judge me for it. 🙊
If I’m wearing a low cut dress at the club I want him to slide his hand in my top and start ______ _______ _______ ______ and kiss me while everyone is looking. 💋
I want this guy to grab me, look me dead in my eyes and tell me what he's about to do to me. And I want him to setup a ______ while he watches and tells the other girl what to do and how to do it. 😼
I have a guy friend that is being too nice to me, but I don’t want him to be nice. I want him to take full advantage of me the next time we go drinking. But I want him to be kind of slick about it and not make it obvious and find a way to get me to his house or him come to mine but I want him to take all control of the situation. 😈
I want him to go all out one weekend and take me to a nice hotel where he pulls all my nastiness out and convinces me to do things I never did before like tell me to ______ and then still treat me like an innocent princess afterwards. 👸
I have a friend who doesn't know I'm crazy about him but I also think I’m not his type because I see the type of girls that be around him and I’m not like any of them. He likes the young party girls who like to twerk and shake ass but I just like to chill. We hang out a few times and we have a good time together but just wish he’d tell me I’m the only one he's worried about and to take home and so I can ____ ____ and ____ his ____ until he ____ ____ ____ ____ and show him what he’s been missing. ❤
I’ve been lusting on a man for about a month. He hasn't made any moves. I’m not ugly so I don’t think he's not attracted to me. I think he knows I want him but he's not doing anything about it. He might have a girl but I don’t want to ask him because I don’t want him thinking I want him if he doesn't already know it. But girl! If he ever calls me and tells me to come over I’m _____ my _____ and i’m going over there and _____ on his _____ until I _____ in his ____ and then I’m going to let him _____ my _____ out from ____ and let him ____ my ____ until it’s sore. 🤐

The Energy You Give

July 26, 2022

The energy you give is just as important as the energy you allow yourself to take in. Energies can easily be changed, shifted, and influenced. You want to be cognizant of the vibe you are exuding. Even if you are being friendly, if your mood is distant or shut off, it will still come through: tone, word usage, and body language can convey your current energy. You have to be carefully with your negative energy because someone else might match it. If your tone is aggressive or dismissive then should you be offended if the person you are talking to meets your tone with the same energy?

When someone is upset, they don’t look outside themselves and see how their behavior is possibly influencing bad reactions from others, that’s why when people are arguing, nothing is being heard, therefore nothing is being solved. Good leaders, whether of a company or a home, have to be careful of the energy they are giving off because it will either encourage positive responses or rebellious ones. This is the main reason why arguing through text is never a good idea.

Example: This wasn’t an argument, but it could have turned into one if I didn’t practice self-awareness. I sent a message to someone late at night with misguided information. I pieced together different parts of conversations with people earlier that evening and the end conclusion that I held on to was completely inaccurate 🤦🏽‍♀️ (!!!) And the response I got the next morning was very justified 🙃😄. But instead of holding my ground and causing friction, I began to accept my misunderstanding and revert back to a happier energy.
*But I’ve noticed sometimes when people know who I am or who I know, they'll say certain things around me to see my reaction or how I respond. 😒

What do you notice when you are genuinely happy or at least happy with the people around you? You are laughing, you are smiling, you are welcoming, and you are emanating good, positive energy which flows onto others and their same energy flows onto you. So it’s a good practice to be around people who are in sound mind, body, and peace. But we are not robots, so we cannot always be cheerful. Although, when we are not in a happy-go-lucky mood some of us shut down and need space from everyone (be mindful that you are not hurting others when you are in this alone or dark space), while others try to find their happiness through others (also not healthy).

When my mood is down, I keep myself away from everyone because I don’t want what’s bothering me to inflict them, but I still have to work on not letting other people get me down. I still have certain triggers that switch my mood from good to horrible very quickly.

*While on vacation, I got some weird tan lines due to my choice of swimwear. 🛳🌞👙

In a physical relationship, pay attention to whom you share your intimate energy with. Intimacy at this level intertwines your aural energy with the aural energy of the other person. These powerful connections, regardless of how insignificant you think they are, leave spiritual debris, particularly within people who do not practice any type of cleansing, physical, emotional or otherwise. The more you interact intimately with someone, the deeper the connection and the more of their aura is intertwined with yours. Imagine someone having a confused aura or negative energy and they are sleeping with multiple people, now their aura is being carried around through these multiple energies and the person is also carrying around the auras of other people. What they may not realize is that others can feel that energy which can repel positive energy and attract more negative energy into your life. — If you believe this, then you should not sleep with anyone who you do not what to be like or not happy to be around because their energy will begin to transfer stress into your life.

If you have sex with positive, loving, uplifting people their energy is absorbed and uplifts you. If you have sex with negative, pessimistic, unstable, depressive people then that energy will have you confused, frustrated and moody.

This entire theory is the idea that environmental energy and physical energy manifests itself to mental energy. Anyone in agreement any with this?