How's Your pH?

“Sometimes staying away from what you want isn’t the hard part, it’s being near what you want that can be difficult.”

Hey ladies, let’s talk. So what's your pH balance doing these days? I know I’ve discussed this before and I’m going to keep discussing it because your vaginal or Hello Kitty health is important and it needs to be a priority to you. So fellas, this may not be a topic for you, but if you stick around you might learn something useful.

If there are any young ladies here who isn't full knowledgeable about vaginal discharge, depending on the color and consistency, vaginal discharge can be healthy. And if your discharge bleaches your underwear, that's a positive thing because that indicates you have good pH balance. And that's why the recommendation is that you buy new underwear every 3-6 months. For me, I’m change mine ever 2-3 months because 1. I’m serious about my Hello Kitty and 2. I’ve not been letting anyone play with my Hello Kitty for _____ years. Let’s just say a very long time. I've not allowed anyone to come swim in my pool. It's been closed and locked. So I definitely have good vaginal health going on right now. 😆😇

Vaginal discharge can often stain/bleach your underwear because it is naturally acidic. The vagina has a 'good' bacteria called lactobacilli which keeps it healthy by maintaining optimal acidity levels and preventing bad bacteria from causing infection. When this discharge is exposed to air, it oxidises causing it to bleach your underwear. So when you notice something off with your discharge, pay attention and if you're having sex with someone, my best suggestion is to hold off until you get your pH back in order. But your grown, do what you want. I'm just saying, if there's something going on with my pH and I've been having sex with someone, then he's no properly taking care of his personal health or maybe hygiene because a man’s bad hygiene can definitely cause nasty bacteria for you.

Sex to me is very personal. I’m sharing my body with someone so I prefer to be very selective and that's the biggest reason why I don't have a long list of sexual partners. Listen, the one time I did something out of character and thought I was going to have a one night stand, it ended up being a thing for 8-9 years. 😆 That gentleman and I are still social, he's not seen my naked in a while, but I really thought the day I met him was going to be the last day I saw him. Yeah, so apparently when I tried to do something I’m not used to doing I still end up staying who I am 😂. And I think I told him that the day I met him, I made several decisions I normally wouldn't make. I don't know if he believed me, but that's my truth.

But back to having a healthy pH balance, it’s a new year ladies, if you haven't paid much attention to your Kitty's health, it’s time to start. You’ve got to keep her clean. Just like how you would clean and take care of your face, you've got to put in that same effort with her. I shared the oils I used in a previous post and I share it again below along with an oil mix for your face, but you can also use the V Mix for your face too.

There's no particular measurement, I just use the dropper and mix 2 to 3 full droppers of each oil into the bottle. I consistently use this oil mixture daily, just like how you would use lotion on other parts of your body, the Kitty needs lotion too.

In a small dropper bottle, mix the following:

https://amzn.to/3SiZqyN (Purchase Glass Dropper Bottles)

”V” Oil Mix:

  • Sesame Oil

  • Argan Oil

  • Jojoba Oil

  • Tea Tree Oil

Face/Eyes Oil Mix

  • Almond Oil

  • Rosehip Oil

  • Castor Oil

  • Tea Tree Oil

Cougar-ish

“How long should a woman keep being selfish with her Hello Kitty?…And when does the “cougar age” begin?…Asking for a friend.” 😂

The last few months I have gotten so many messages from women telling me about their personal experiences with dating younger men. Some good and some not so good, but with all of the stories I read, ALL OF YOU NEED JESUS!

Thank you to all my willing and non-willing participants. - Love, Raya 😘

If anyone is new here, let me give you some background on why women are sharing their experiences. Last year, I met a young man whom is over 10 years younger than me. Nothing has developed other than a friendship because I let him know I cannot offer him anything more than just that. Every now and then, he tries to convince me otherwise, but I still stand my ground. He does have all the accolades of a man my age and older and I do love how he talks to me (he makes me blush sometimes with the things he says), the way he dresses could be a little better, but he’s 25 and he’s in that generation of questionable style, but he does have a beautiful smile, and very muscular…he’s a gorgeous young man, but I still will not let him have me. I even asked one of my guy friends what I should do with him and he told me that I don’t owe him anything and I have the upper hand so I can do whatever I want with him and not feel guilty about it. I think the guilty part is what keeps me from letting this young man pull my panties to the side. He’s from Chicago, so that’s what I will refer to him as.

But the stories that YOU LADIES shared with me…I feel like I need to take my brain out and wash it several times over because you are too much! But in each story, the ladies made it clear that the experience was purely for their pleasure and entertainment. Some of the women spoiled their young men, flew them out on trips, took them shopping, had them run errands, or do chores around the house….and I am just fascinated! I am capable of doing things like that for a man and I do not have issues spoiling a man, but it’s the thought of doing such things and when he cannot do the same for me is another thing I am stuck on. But Chicago is cable of treating me because he already has a professional career with a 401k and substantial savings…I still can’t give into him though.

One of you ladies suggested that I just try him out to see if this is something I can be comfortable doing. I’m like “try him out?” — He’s not a pair of shoes, he’s a person. He has feelings. I can’t just put him back on the shelf if it’s not a good fit. My guy friends tell me that if I do decide to do anything with him and I do not like the whole experience or vibe then I can just cut him off without explanation. Hey, I’ve mentioned plenty of times that my guy friends are a little unfiltered. And you know what I realized a few times when hanging out with them, I don’t think most of them know how old I am. I think they may presume I am close to their age because I connect with them very well and effortlessly, but realistically, most of the male friends I communicate with often average 8-14 years older than me. Some of them have asked me my age, but I never gave a straight answer.

“Bitties”

Dear Future Lover,

Treat me good and you will have it ALL.

As far as this whole idea of being involved with someone much younger, there is no convincing me that this is a good idea. Another woman shared that she was fooling around with a young one in college and even attended his graduation and went to his graduation party WHERE HIS FAMILY WAS AT!!! 😮 Yeahhh, I don’t want to meet any family, especially parents. Another woman shared that she went to her young lover’s baby shower, BABY SHOWER that was held at the expecting girl’s parents house! Of course I had so many questions for this devious woman! But what almost knocked my out of my chair was when she said that they had sex in the baby-momma-to-be bed while everyone was outside! I have no words. But you know what, I do like for a man I’m involved with to suggest risky things like that. 💦

From what I gathered from all of the ladies stories is that younger men want to please you because it boosts their ego and confidence to have an older woman so they are going to make more of an effort to give you what makes you happy, but they are still going to try to assert dominance because they don’t want to be treated like a child, so they may challenge you a bit…which I do not mind at all, I like for a man to put bass in his voice and check me sometimes 😼. They want you to know that they ARE grown men even though they are younger. Although, all of you ladies said in one form or another that the young ones still have their childish ways, but the good thing about being older is that you already have your life structured to how you want it, so you can close the door anytime if the young man isn’t entertaining anymore. — I’m like, Woooow, you women are COLD! 👀

I am still not convince that this is a route for me. Maybe in another 10 years, but I just cannot see myself in those kinds of situations. Chicago is just going to have to eventually move on or deal with me not giving in. 😌

Wifely Duties (NSFW)

'“My kitty doesn’t beat for a handsome man. It beats for a man who shows me he’s an honorable man.”

Let’s start March with a bang. If you are at work please do not listen to this on speakerphones.

I love when you readers send me questions and want my opinions. A woman wrote to me saying that she has not been in the mood for a long time and she is starting to feel like her husband is pulling away from her. She says he is a good man, he works hard, he is very catering to her and isn’t the type of man who thinks a woman’s place is at home, cooking and clean. He does his fair share of maintaining their home too and he’s a great father to their kids. So she wants to know what she should do because she loves her husband, but she just hasn’t been feeling like getting down in the bedroom.

Ok, I am about to be raw with you guys so please don’t listen if you are overly sensitive to certain terms…

The Effort Series

I really did have fun with this red color.

Baby…ain’t shit out here in these streets. There is piss all up an down these roads, okay. 90% of these men will waste your time and just want you at their convenience. Their penises come with bs that you don’t need especially if you are a woman who has her shit together, career, home, healthy bank accounts, things like that. That dick that comes with the bs, isn’t stable dick and will also make you unstable. The other 10% may or may not be single. And the ones who are single are probably 25 years old, like the young man I’ve been telling you about. His grown is not the same as my grown, and if I give him some of me, I’m going to snatch his soul. I don’t want to do that, I don’t want that on my conscious, so I am going to spare him. But honey, back to your marriage, it sounds like you have a great man. First thing I suggest is to go to the doctor, your gyn, to get everything checked out and tell your doctor what’s going on. It may be health related. If there is an issues, get it solved and if there isn’t, the next thing you need to do is go get some lingerie, some oils, candles, and some sensory toys. Then get a babysitter, book you a nice hotel room, get some room service and take care of your husband! Arch you back, get on your knees, lick it up, swallow it, do the most on your husband. Let him know that your body wants him and how much you appreciate all that he does for you and your family. Because like I said, AIN’T SHIT OUT HERE IN THESE STREETS!

Ladies, we cannot get too high and mighty and letting other people get in our heads about not catering to your good man. That “City Girl” life…leave it to the city girls, they just want to frolic and have fun and that’s work for some women, because their life ain’t your life. You have to face what you currently have. And if you have a good man at home, let him know it.

Thank you for listening to my TED Talk.

Is this how defensive women get these days? “Why are you texting him?” - Girl, stop sneaking on his phone and hand it back to him.

Just A Few Minutes

“There's men who really don’t appreciate a woman who has her own, they instead go for someone who wants to be his dependent.”

So I saw this statement on one of my social media feeds, take a second to read it.

Fellas, I know some of you are on here and I'll tell you right now, THIS IS SOOOOO ABSOLUTELY TRUE! And let me explain why…

When we are taking care of ourselves, there’s no charade or showboating. We know exactly what we want and exactly what area of the Hello Kitty to focus on. My only audience is me.

The Effort Series

When I tell you this dress turned heads…IT TURNED HEADS!

With a man, and I can only speak for myself, but when I’m with a man I want the full experience, the kissing, touching, hugging, the tease, the foreplay, the talking, I want it all and I want it to last longer than a few minutes. But when it’s just me, there's no need for all of that, I just need to clear my head and it won’t take me long to do that. So yeah, we only need a few minutes. 😼

For those of you who don’t know what a rose is, it’s a toy that looks like a rose and the middle peddle vibrates and moves a different speeds depending on the setting you put it on. This toy has great marketing and has a lot of good reviews and I can tell you it lives up to the hype and all the reviews are accurate. 😼💦

Bedroom Moves

2 Part Audio.

Before we start… I want to say something to some of the ladies here. The reader who sent me this video disclosed to me that a man she used to be involved with now is surrounding himself with several younger women. Ladies, if these men want to be like Puff/Diddy, let them have their free spirited, don’t gave a damn about anything but drinks and smoke and living on a whim type girls, let them have it. Whatever they’re going through or whatever attention or validation they need from those girls, let them have it.

But let’s be clear, Puff has created his own empire, his own world and how he manages his life isn't how most of these man manage theirs. Once you see a man entertain a much younger woman and barely interacts with you, Baby, he's not for you and you're not for him. Because if he was a man of your stature, he wouldn't be giving all his attention to girls who still need years to catch up to where you are. Baby, it’s okay, because you're going to find a man who loves you at your age and admires all that you've accomplished and kiss all your pains away. Don't worry about these 40/50 year old men who still likes young ass on them, there’s an identity issue there, and you don't need his issues to be yours. Stay who you are and the right one will love you for it. Ok? Hugs and kisses. 😘

Now let’s move on…..

Obviously, this topic isn’t for me. It’s for all you sexually active lovers. How’s life over there? You like it? Surprisingly, I do not miss sex as much as people expect me to. I guess people assume that I’m this sexual deviant who has to have a different lover every month to feed my lustful appetite. — Ummmm, NO. I want an authentic mental connection with someone. I don’t want someone just to skim through my pages, I want him to carefully read through my lines and find the hidden stories that I keep from the world. I want someone to know my flaws and still be patient enough to see me as someone who constantly willing to learn the life around me. I also want someone to see that I don’t give up easily and that I’m loyal to the end even when I’m hurting and being misunderstood. The point is, don’t take me at face value because I’m more than what I show people.

So I read a few articles about sex and how to best please your partner and how to keep things exciting between the two of you. I’m just going to summarized what I read and tag the articles separately.

Types of Sex Couples Should Have:

  • Morning Sex - What’s not great about starting your day with some penetration?

  • Spontaneous Sex - I love this kind of sex. It’s unexpected, passionate, and all the juices are just flowing making every moment exciting.

  • Make Up Sex - I like think type of sex too. Your emotions are involved, the anger and love mixed into one and you forget about all the problems and just look into each other.

  • Romantic Sex - This is probably more in my lane because I’m a sensual person. I love the tender kisses. I love being held and looking into each other’s souls and infusing our bond with a deeper connection. (Pun intended).

Praise Kink - This is not a new concept, but it’s a new term for talking during sex and saying things that praise your partner such as:

  • You're such a good girl/boy.

  • It’s so big.

  • No one can do it like you.

  • You are the best.

  • You're so good at [insert skill].

  • You look so good when you [insert activity].

  • You taste so good.

  • Just like that… keep going.

  • You feel so [insert verb or adjective]

  • *This isn’t a praise kink, but I love hearing a man moan, such a turn on

Sex Pillows - You can buy special pillows to make the feeling more pleasurable for you and your partner, but you can really use any firm pillow; it’s where you position it that matters. When the woman is on the bottom and facing you, put the pillow right under the hips, if she’s turned around, put the pillow under the lower stomach. If the man is on the bottom, have him sitting slightly up with the pillow supporting his back. The pillow position option helps with better pivotal points and makes the sensation more exciting, plus with the man on the bottom, having the pillow behind him gets his body closer to yours and more opportunities for neck kisses and…ummmm…nipple attention.

And I want to add this last one, it’s not a sex thing, and of course I’ve not been able to do this because I’m keeping men away from me and completely avoiding them 😂, but I would love just lay in bed with a man and sit my legs on him while he’s watching to TV and I'm in my glasses typing away on my laptop. I'm a square huh? I’m okay with that because I know there's a man who's going to love that I just like to chill out and do simple things. We’ll show out every now and then, but home is where the heart is and I want to feel like home to a man. Stay safe out there. 😉

Article References for Types of Sex and Praise Kinks: www.xonecole.com (Necole started out as a celebrity blogger and now focuses her topics on women’s empowerment, relationships, business, health and wellness).

Are You Worth Changing My PH Balance For?

*Postings have been a little off schedule lately; normally live on Tuesday mornings, but I’m still getting a handle of my different schedules. Bare with me. 😬

Don’t fee like reading? Listen instead.

I made the decision late last year that I would not get intimately involved with anyone. I didn’t give myself a deadline on when I should get involved or what criteria a man should have before considering breaking my solidarity. If there is an impressive gentleman who comes my way or catches off guard, I’ll deal with my emotions and decisions then. But for now, it is a decision I made for myself for very personal reasons. Some of my friends know why and those who don’t know why always seem to ask me the following:

  • Don’t you get lonely?

  • What happens when you get into the mood?

“I'm So Pretty And He Like That” by King Manyara (Song is NSFW)

I feel like these are very simple answers. No I do not ever feel lonely, not because I have my family and friends, but because I enjoy my alone time and make the most of it even when I’m not doing much. And as far as getting into the mood….Ladies, c’mon. We know how to fix that and it doesn’t required another person. 😈

I'm not going to lie, ladies and gentlemen, there are times where I’d like to get a phone call or text message telling me to come out and enjoy the evening with him, but my phone is so dry that the only times it makes any noise is when my boss calls, one of my clients call, or when my classmates send me a message about an assignment. 😐

But I also feel that with people being casual with whomever and how many ever, I don’t need to be concerned about my health more than I have already been. And I definitely cannot allow bad energy in my life, nor can I accept for a man to take advantage of my willingness to understand and be a little laid back with some things other women may have an issue with.

I would definitely like having a male friend who I can be comfortable enough with to be in my underwear around him without him wanting to take it too far, like having the companionship with a man, but without the sex.

I’ve always thought sex as a personal and sacred connection with someone. That's not to say I’ve never had casual connections with people, I'm just not one who shares myself with many people. I know there are women who sleep with several different men within a short period of time, like a month, and I can't see myself doing that. And I don’t judge anyone who are more free with sex and people. Let your freak flag fly, but I rather have my freak flag fly in only 1 yard.

Because my shirt is a bit form fitting, someone asked, “Is that a kids shirt?” I said, “Yes, your daddy gave it to me because he calls me Baby.” 😈

P.S. - I want someone who can't keep his hands off me even when I act like I don't want him to. 😼

pH balance is referred to as an acid-base balance, it is the level of acids and bases in your blood at which your body functions best. It's important for women to maintain a healthy pH balance and ladies if you do not already know this, at different stages in our lives our pH balance changes due to other changes in our bodies. An unhealthy pH balance causes several uncomfortable things 😬 especially for your Hello Kitty and makes your girl down there feel sick 😫 🤒.

Men can affect your pH balance if they don't take care of themselves or are carrying residue and bacteria from other women. EWL. In chemistry, not all chemicals mix well. So with that in mind, I’m not so eager to share my Hello Kitty with anyone, she's more like a No No Kitty right now 😼. I’ll keep using my body washes and natural oils to keep my 🐱 healthy. And I cannot be sure if anyone else does the same, so I'm definitely not going to let some random man fck up my pH balance. — I sleep with him, then a few days later I’m feeling a little different. Uh, no Sir!

Bless their hearts, but men can be so disgusting with their hygiene routines. As beautiful of creatures they can be because there are some gorgeous men, Sorry HANSOME men, one of friends told me to stop calling men gorgeous. Not all soap is good soap and many of them don't have a skin care routine, they just use a wet rag on their face and go. So depending on how he keeps his man parts clean, my lady parts may or may not have a good reaction to him. But it’s not only how he cleans his body, it’s also what he puts into his body that can affect your inner chemicals further effecting mine. Be safe out there everyone.