You Don't Like Complex

December 21, 2022

Happy Tip: Any time you are sad, give yourself time to be sad, but try not to dwell too long, sadness can cripple you (sometimes when I'm sad, I won’t leave my house for days and not want to be around people, but I have to remind myself, life is still moving and I need to move too). Learn to groove into other emotions by switching to happier topics or thinking of things that boost your energy and serotonin levels.

Don’t feel like reading? Listen instead.

Artist: Giulia Rosa (I love this artist’s expressions of love and sex)

You ladies have voiced a lot of your grievances about men over the years. Men do not see their own bullsh*t sometimes. And they always try to make excuses for lacking. I came up with a simple message for men who think they are adequate…I know some of the men are going to dislike this, but hear us out:

You do not like someone with baggage, who maybe has previous trauma, children or a career that will get in the way of giving all her attention to you. You want someone to always be available for you, but want her to understand when you cannot be available for her. You don’t want someone who is complex because then you will feel pressured to think and do things that you are not capable of doing. You think you want a strong woman, but when her strength challenges your abilities, you create barriers against her and try to make her seem like the problem. You like the idea of her, but you have not dug into your own flaws and setbacks to realize that you are not ready for everything she comes with. She doesn’t need you to be perfect, she just wants you stand by her and face the world with optimism, determination, prosperity, and love for her.

We have to be honest with ourselves and what we can handle right now, but don’t think that any involvement you have with anyone isn’t going to get difficult. What is more important is how you handle the difficulties; you either face them or run from them. And no matter what decision you make…every action has an equal or opposite reaction.

To the men who are single, live your best single life, but keep this in mind…if there is a woman around you who is of a certain stature and you do things that makes her think a little differently of you, she isn't going to automatically forget her image of you just because you tell her it’s not what it looks like or its not what it seems. This is the difference between a man who is cognizant and a man who isn't self aware. Behave how you believe yourself to be. I know that may be lost to some of you. — Let’s say you and I are friends and you tell me you don't go out often and don’t like to be out all night, but every other weekend you’re out partying it up. Huh? Or if you tell me you don’t have anything going on with someone, but I happen to see you getting very cozy with someone, how am I supposed to think of that? Either you are with someone, starting something with someone, or you just let anyone get cozy with you.

Hey, I'm single and I hang out and I meet people, but I’m still aware of how things could be perceived by the people around me. Even when I step out to my favorite places, most of the people know my face so I am not going to get affectionate with anyone I am not sleeping with or who I do not know very well. I’m not going to put my arm around anyone or press my body against them or act in a suggestive way with them. - Now I told you I hung out with one of my guy friends before Thanksgiving, right? Remember, I barely see him, but we catch up like once a year and when we were hanging out, we went to the place he usually goes to and throughout the evening he did keep hugging me and kissed my head a few times, but the way he did it was more like, this is my friend, I have love for her and I am enjoying her company. His behavior wasn’t inappropriate at all. So say if there was another guy hanging out with us who was interested in me, he would not think there was anything going on between my friend and I because of how we both conducted ourselves.

If you like a woman, don't give her the impression you're interested in someone else. Don’t act like a man who seems to share himself with everybody, that is not appealing. I don’t want what everyone else has or can have. But if you like ME, do small things like asking how I am, or what my weekend plans are, get into what I’m saying, or better yet make a point to see me and be the man you believe yourself to be. I know I’ve said before that I don't like not knowing where I stand with a man, YOU ARE THE MAN, set the tone for this otherwise I’m just going to chalk it up as you're not interested or I'm not your type.

Here’s a quick story. The big radio station in Philadelphia is “Power99”. And years ago Wendy Williams had a syndicated radio show. You may know Wendy as the talk show host, but I remember her from her radio days and I actually like her more then. I didn’t really watch her talk show that much, but when she was on the radio, I tuned in everyday! One time, Andre Benjamin was on her show, he’s also known as Andre 3000 or the other half of Outkast. Around that time he already had a son with Erykah Badu, but he told the story of how Common (who was just starting to become known) came to him and let him know that he and Erykah started seeing each other. And I think it was a bit of commotion because Andre and Erykah were still somewhat involved. But as Andre was telling the story, he was very clam, cool, and collected, it did not sound like there was animosity, he almost seem like he was appreciative that Common came to him to let him know that he didn’t mean any disrespect, he just wanted it to be known that he started seeing Erykah. I remember listening to this and thinking highly of both men and identifying the uncommon qualities that not all men possess, like being a man of honor. Again this was many years ago so you can just image how my views of good men have evolved.

Now of course I was only hearing one side of the story, I don’t know Common’s or Erykah’s point of view, but I felt like it was so mature of both men to discuss it with each other and I never heard of the two of them having an issue with each other. And if what Andre said was true then Common didn’t push Erykah to talk to him. He decided to do it. And I cannot think that Andre be the type of man to have resentment towards the mother of his child or a man who just wants to clear the air. He has always presented himself as being very laid back and reserved (I feel like Andre would be good friend to have). I even read one time that when Outkast started getting all their hype and recognition, he didn’t get into the loud lifestyle of alcohol, women, and overly gaudy spending. He’s also been said not to entertain groupies or like the attention of any pretty face and he lives a lowkey life. I love that about a man. Especially the men who are able to discipline themselves when there is a bevy to gorgeous women at their disposal. Just because a pretty girl is willing to give it up to you, doesn’t mean you should give into it.

And guys, I think this is where many women have their concerns, don’t be a man who is open to anyone, be a man who is selective and whom is mature enough to express yourself without deflecting, gaslighting, or insulting a woman…especially not with the woman you are interested in. — Please don’t shoot the messenger. Be safe out there.

Are You Worth Changing My PH Balance For?

October 10, 2022

*Postings have been a little off schedule lately; normally live on Tuesday mornings, but I’m still getting a handle of my different schedules. Bare with me. 😬

Don’t fee like reading? Listen instead.

I made the decision late last year that I would not get intimately involved with anyone. I didn’t give myself a deadline on when I should get involved or what criteria a man should have before considering breaking my solidarity. If there is an impressive gentleman who comes my way or catches off guard, I’ll deal with my emotions and decisions then. But for now, it is a decision I made for myself for very personal reasons. Some of my friends know why and those who don’t know why always seem to ask me the following:

Don’t you get lonely?
What happens when you get into the mood?

“I'm So Pretty And He Like That” by King Manyara (Song is NSFW)

I feel like these are very simple answers. No I do not ever feel lonely, not because I have my family and friends, but because I enjoy my alone time and make the most of it even when I’m not doing much. And as far as getting into the mood….Ladies, c’mon. We know how to fix that and it doesn’t required another person. 😈

I'm not going to lie, ladies and gentlemen, there are times where I’d like to get a phone call or text message telling me to come out and enjoy the evening with him, but my phone is so dry that the only times it makes any noise is when my boss calls, one of my clients call, or when my classmates send me a message about an assignment. 😐

But I also feel that with people being casual with whomever and how many ever, I don’t need to be concerned about my health more than I have already been. And I definitely cannot allow bad energy in my life, nor can I accept for a man to take advantage of my willingness to understand and be a little laid back with some things other women may have an issue with.

I would definitely like having a male friend who I can be comfortable enough with to be in my underwear around him without him wanting to take it too far, like having the companionship with a man, but without the sex.

I’ve always thought sex as a personal and sacred connection with someone. That's not to say I’ve never had casual connections with people, I'm just not one who shares myself with many people. I know there are women who sleep with several different men within a short period of time, like a month, and I can't see myself doing that. And I don’t judge anyone who are more free with sex and people. Let your freak flag fly, but I rather have my freak flag fly in only 1 yard.

Because my shirt is a bit form fitting, someone asked, “Is that a kids shirt?” I said, “Yes, your daddy gave it to me because he calls me *Baby*.” 😈
P.S. - I want someone who can't keep his hands off me even when I act like I don't want him to. 😼

pH balance is referred to as an acid-base balance, it is the level of acids and bases in your blood at which your body functions best. It's important for women to maintain a healthy pH balance and ladies if you do not already know this, at different stages in our lives our pH balance changes due to other changes in our bodies. An unhealthy pH balance causes several uncomfortable things 😬 especially for your Hello Kitty and makes your girl down there feel sick 😫 🤒.

Men can affect your pH balance if they don't take care of themselves or are carrying residue and bacteria from other women. EWL. In chemistry, not all chemicals mix well. So with that in mind, I’m not so eager to share my Hello Kitty with anyone, she's more like a No No Kitty right now 😼. I’ll keep using my body washes and natural oils to keep my 🐱 healthy. And I cannot be sure if anyone else does the same, so I'm definitely not going to let some random man fck up my pH balance. — I sleep with him, then a few days later I’m feeling a little different. Uh, no Sir!

Bless their hearts, but men can be so disgusting with their hygiene routines. As beautiful of creatures they can be because there are some gorgeous men, Sorry HANSOME men, one of friends told me to stop calling men gorgeous. Not all soap is good soap and many of them don't have a skin care routine, they just use a wet rag on their face and go. So depending on how he keeps his man parts clean, my lady parts may or may not have a good reaction to him. But it’s not only how he cleans his body, it’s also what he puts into his body that can affect your inner chemicals further effecting mine. Be safe out there everyone.

Welcome Back…Kinda

May 15, 2020

Hello Humans, welcome back to the outside. How does the air smell? First, let me get this thought out of the way, “Can somebody’s President PLEASE listen to his speech writers?! I don’t want to make this political because when it comes to politics, I pay attention to the policies not necessarily the person sitting in the seat. But c’mon now — Let’s word things a bit better. Can we at least seem like we have some of the top rated schools in the country?

[If you want to catch a good movie that pokes fun of political stereotypes, stream The Hunt. The movie stars Hillary Swank, but you don't see her until mid scenes. The film has a bit of humor and references George Orwell's Animal Farm which perked my ears when I heard one of the characters say, "She's our Snowball". For those who don't remember or did not study Animal Farm in middle school, the novel is a political satire about the Soviet Union during Communist rule; basically the oppression from government powers.]

Moving on, let’s do a recap:

Quarantine orders are lifting (some of you didn’t adhere to them in the first place). Congratulations you’ve completed Level 4 of Jumanji. There’s still talks about us getting another round of the Virus near the end of the year that will couple with Flu and Cold Season — Alrighty then, let’s mask-on and do this! *Keep yourselves protected. (I am in no rush to risk getting sick.)
This is my sole opinion but, some people are just idiots when it comes to this whole pandemic; just making the most questionable decisions no matter who it affects. Yeah, not all of us can be heros and we may relate more to the villain, but we don’t have to choose that route. Remember my thoughts in “Everyone Loves the Hero, but No One Forgets the Villain.” Some people are already hard to forget but, others are just senseless.
A lot of people and companies are not planning to head back into the office or open their doors any time soon. — Me, I am people.
Many small businesses did not survive and were unable to get Relief Loans and yet, huge corporation received emergency funding…..hmmmmm, how did that happen? To the small businesses that not only had a physical location, but also an online retail service for goods and supplies before the pandemic hit, smart moves, you guys were ahead of the curve and already created a stable brand with loyal customers to keep you from plummeting. And credit to those small business owners who had a '“rain day” account and/or whom are deeply connected to their communities that this little setback didn’t hurt much. If you have a business and have not invested in marketing….ya might want to get on that.
Those of you who received some of the stimulus aid learned really quick it was not enough. Others are still waiting on their checks. And some people who are getting the extra Unemployment aid are making more money now than when they were working. — I hope you know about budgeting and managing expenses.
Mental Health has become a problem and the trauma of the pandemic did not help and within that issue, Domestic Violence cases has gone up (HERE is an organization that helps women financially to leave an abusive relationship.)

Some relationships have been tested and facing the brink of failure. A good friend is set to be married this year and his fiance is now questioning their love for one another, but that's not my business to discuss. — Hang in there Homie, you’ll get through it. As I mentioned it in a previous post, Marry Your Bestfriend = Marry someone who you get excited to tell good news to, who you like being around even if you're saying nothing, who tries to understand you, who wants to stand by and work with you through life's changes, who makes you laugh on the hard days, who makes the best days even better, and who can lock eyes with you and you get the feeling of admiration.
I’ll keep this PG, but we may see an influx of newborns in DEC/JAN/FEB. -- Hey Babies, Auntie RayRay will be ready to dress you up next summer. We are doing 2 summers next year.
The Stock Market is a shit show. I guess I’m not retiring this year. Yet, that didn’t stop me from buying some energy stocks that are now under $10. (See more info on energy stocks HERE.)
So many people don’t know how to wear masks properly and I feel like I’m about to go rob a bank anytime I pull my mask up before walking into a building. — “Okay, park the car around back, leave the engine running, I’ll be out with the goods in 14.2 minutes. If I’m not out be then, just head to the meetup spot and wait for my call.”
Video conferencing platforms has skyrocketed and is the new phone call: Zoom, Google Meet/Hangouts/Duo, Microsoft Meetings, etc.

“Club Quarantine” has rescued many of us from going crazy. I added some more 70’s and 80’s songs to my daily playlist. — Don’t think too much on how old I may be, I’m old enough to see that your well-to-do son may be nice, but his well-to-do divorcee father would be a better fit to my life. #WhosYoDaddy
TikTok is this thing the kids are using to show off...whatever they like to show off these days. Also, if you were not aware, here is some trivia: TikTok was developed by ByteDance a Chinese corporation that headquarters in Beijing and averages about 7 Billion in revenue a year. ByteDance is valued at US$75 billion, making it the most valuable startup in the world. Zhang Yiming, founded the company in 2012 and is 37 years old. His net worth is 16.2 billion for 2020. WOW. How serious do you think a 16.2 billion dollar man is when conducting business meetings? (No, the company is not publicly traded, I already checked.)

A man once told me:

"The more successful you are, the more people you'll disappoint, the more promises you'll break; not to mention the hearts you'll shatter, and the more of a threat you become. When you are sitting at the top of your success, be prepared for the work that comes with managing the people around you.

He also said to me:

When you put your money away, keep the lower bills on the outside to hide your bigger bills, don't ever talk about how much money you have. Let them assume."

I like it when men give me useful life tidbits. The man who gave me this knowledge owns a NBA team. -- I’m pretty sure he knows what he's talking about.

Homeschooling is not for everyone. — Not sure if the case went anywhere but, a few Drexel University students have sued the school over the appropriation of their student loans since now they are tele-learning. When my current institution switched to 100% e-learning, to ensure all on campus students were aware of the procedures, all the faculty sent out emails giving set by step instructions on where to locate materials and how to complete assignments online. I giggled over this because, I’ve been e-learning the whole time with my program and some of the instructions seemed very grade school. Also, let’s see about my NEXT degree. Yup, might as well go back in for another round. Hey, why not? I hear Harvard has a good Business program or because of the rising issues with mental wellness, I may revisit what my first degree started. Don’t worry, I’ll offer a discount on your first therapy session.

Alcohol deliveries will continue indefinitely in some areas. — Goodness, I don’t know who all is raising the upcoming generations but, let’s try to be functional drinkers….for the kids.

Some of you are really good cooks, I applaud you. I've been taking extra time to make my plates photogenic.
I began curating Essential Packs for busy women in mid February and since then I’ve been working with nonprofits to get these packs to women involved in their organizations. Plus, I’ve been able to connect with new vendors for other essential items to include into your daily routines.
When I feel it’s my time to go out into the world, I may just disappear for 2 months. — Don’t send a search party and don’t tag my phone, the signal will be diverted. I promise I will be safe. I’ll mail out postcards; Wish you were here!

Lastly, I love all your emails. Thank you.