What to do between Birmingham & Tuscaloosa

A continued review from “A Journey In Tuscaloosa”…

Editor’s Note: This post has been updated due to closures and new openings.

So Alabama has sort of become my second home since last year….I know, of all the states in the U.S., ya girl ended up in Alabama, not LA, not the CHI, not MIA, not NYC, but Sweet Home ALABAMA! — I guess I should count my blessings though because I’m still not too far away from the family in Texas.

Let me start by saying, “Forget all the stereotypes you may have heard growing up and don’t think that 1 person represents all people.” — There may be parts of Alabama that is still very….ummmm….Confederate and Country, but other parts of it are a little more open. (And I hate to say this, but there is still the mindset that “women should not be working in business with men” and at times I’ve faced scrutiny over it. Although, this can happen anywhere, not just Alabama….Can’t I be a woman and not be harassed by “professional” men I work with?!)

Anyway, let me not bore you with business talk, let’s discuss all the things you can do and see between Birmingham and Tuscaloosa. — Yes, there are more cities in Alabama, but I’ve only explored the two, bare with me folks.

TUSCALOOSA - Tuscaloosa is what I like to consider a secluded city. Everything you need is there, but you’ve got to look for it or know people who know how to find it. Nonetheless, here’s what you can do besides watch the games.

For the Foodies - I’m getting impressed with what I’m finding here and there and all of you should know by now….I’m a pretty good eater.

• Burgers: Downtown Tuscaloosa has become a great hub for good eats. The common favorite is Avenue Pub. Next is a new small eatery called Jack Browns.

• There’s a new Jamaican restaurant called, Reggae Flava, on 4th street that you should consider dropping in on (UPDATE: No longer operating). A Mexican place called Jalepenos Downtown has great street tacos and margaritas. Several brunch places such as, Brick & Spoon (pretty good mimosas and by request, they made the Michelada drink I like), and 5 Bar (great coffee, just add a little Irish Cream if you really want to get your weekend started) are also downtown along with many other choices for food right within walking distance of one another. Check out Cravings when you’re here, it’s like a 1 and done stop shop for food, drinks, and snacks. For the evening, see about Depalma’s Italian Cafe, their stuffed mushrooms are amazing! A little further on the outskirts, River is a nice place for a quiet evening dinner, see Yancey for your drinks. And there is a new little ice cream shop called, Las Pinas, that makes the Mangonadas I’ve come to LOVE while living in Texas and I’m so happy that I can find it here too. If you want to try more different cultural flavors and a fan of Indian food, check out Sitar. There is so much more this town offers, just venture out and look or ask around.

Giphy

For the Relaxers - If you identify with the “Caterpillar” from Alice in Wonderland (my favorite character aside from the Mad Hatter and the Cheshire Cat), there are a few places you can relax at (hookah or cigars) to puff some smoke.

• (Update: No longer operating. The city is strict in these types of business, but there is a hookah bar outside of downtown). Big Daddy’s is the hot spot for hookah and is also a pit stop for Mediterranean food and an after hours slow down.

• There’s also a few “toned down” bars where you can enjoy a classic cocktail, my suggestion, Session . If you are the wine and cheese type, a brand new hot spot called The Wine Market is perfect to relax and enjoy some reds. Brown's Corner has come back to play and is located upstairs of Half Shells restaurant. So Cal is a another Mexican restaurant, but the newest feature is upstairs and is separate business from the restaurant called, The Cocktail Collection. The cool element about this place is the door into the bar is a retro soda vending machine that requires a code. Don’t worry they alway share the newest code on their instagram.

For the Party-Goers - Speaking of cocktails, there are PLENTY of bars around town to keep you entertained. I mean this IS a college town. Just go on Google and search “Bars near me” and I guarantee at least 10 will pull up. Choose whichever one is more your speed. Lounges and clubs are around, again, pick your preferred scene.

Shopping - Ummmm…go to Birmingham.

(I feel like the City of Tuscaloosa should have an online directory to let people know about places and events. — Hey Mr. Mayor! Call me, I won’t charge too much!)

BIRMINGHAM - Here’s little history, had certain forefathers decided differently about what to do with Birmingham, it would have been like Atlanta today. But, don’t dismiss what this city offers, the culinary scene is much to be discussed as with the nightlife.

For the Foodies - I’m still exploring the food scene in Birmingham, there is more than I expected in this city. You’ve got your full service restaurants, your coffee houses, pick up and go places, and many patio dining options.

• A few places I recommend are, McFly’s Bird Shoppe, Five Point House and Oyster Bar, Black Market Bar and Grill, Jim n Nick’s BBQ, Chez Fonfon, The Wine Loft, and Golden Age Wine.

For the Relaxers - Pick your poison. You can stop in at a lounge, bar, or restaurant early before it starts to get busy and just wind down with your thoughts.

For the Party-Goers - The hot spots are a little spread out, but not too far out. There are little groups of places that are within walking distance of each other depending on what side of town you’re in.

• So far I’ve been to 3000, Hush Lounge, Safe House, Urban Smoke, Collins Bar, Queenspark, and there is a rooftop lounge I can’t remember and another place I went to that I cannot recall the name of at this moment, I’m pretty sure I’ve been to more places. — I am a firm believer of FUN is what you make of it, so I always enjoy my time out no matter where it is.

Shopping - You’ve got The Summit and Riverchase Galleria (P.S. - Hey Riverchase, your website needs an upgrade). Both are filled with well known retailers and plenty of places to take a break and eat.

Between the two cities, it’s about a 50 minute drive depending on where you are going, so what you may not be able to find in one, you can find in the other. I think my next choice will be somewhere in the middle of the two areas to cut down on the trip to and from.

For more detailed reviews of where I’ve been, check out my GOOGLE pages.

Being Dominant vs. Being Abusive

I started and stopped writing this piece several times because I wanted to make sure I was clear about the differences in behaviors with this topic. People can easily misunderstand and run with that misunderstanding. I decided to keep this as short as I could to allow your own thoughts and interpretation to develop.

I briefly mentioned in a previous post that there is a difference between being dominant and being abusive. — One is desired and the other is damaging. I’m not talking about the physical aspects of this topic, just the mental.

A dominant man is confident and secure with himself, knows who he is, what he wants and goes after it. An abusive man struggles with his identity, his wants, his needs and transfers his frustration to others.

Can a dominant man also be an abusive man? Of course. That’s the uncertainty of it because the line between the two can be easily blurred, but understand this, being abusive is not the route anyone should take and can really cause harm to people especially the ones close to you.

Let me give some examples:

1. A man is dating a very attractive woman, they are at a party together and the woman is making friendly conversation with another man

   • Dominant: The man appreciates his lady is making her own way through the party and may walk up next to her to either join the conversation or just to check on her

   • Abusive: The man gets a sense of jealousy and pulls her away from the conversation to scold her for talking to another man

2. An argument occurs with the couple

   • Dominant: The man identifies there is an issue that needs to be addressed, but with tempers flaring, he knows nothing will get resolved this way. (He is also aware that women can be very emotional and irrational when they are upset.) He takes a step back and suggests they give themselves a few minutes to cool off and then come back to discuss the issues.

   • Abusive: He continues to argue back and forth with his lady and saying very hurtful things towards her or about her.

3. A man knows that his lady has had a long day or week at work

   • Dominant: He empathizes that his is not the only one bringing something to the relationship and helps takes charge with cooking dinner, attending to the kids, cleaning up, etc. He knows it’s not only a woman’s job to maintain a household or that there is any gender specific duties in the home.

   • Abusive: He continues to expect his partner to attend to him and the home or gets irritated if she asks for assistance. (Sometimes subtle behaviors can cause friction or resentment that can lead to compounding problems.)

Let me further explain that a Dominant man takes charge of a matter in a way that is logical and possibly the best route for everyone involved. He does not dismiss the feelings or input of others, he listens intently and then makes a sound decision.

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The below image caught my attention. It is another version of the topic and I just want to point out…still….the difference with pleasure and unwanted pain.

Someone’s comment was, “It’s sad that this has to be explained.” And let’s be very clear, when referring to being “hit” it doesn’t mean getting knocked out with a fist.

And another thing about being dominant…and I’m so serious about this one, you can even say I'm stubborn over it….I WILL NEVER approach a man. That is NOT my place. I understand Women's Empowerment, Women's Liberation, Equal Human Rights, all of that, but if a man expects me to approach him….Sir, you can call ME ‘Daddy’. Ladies, if you're one of those who wants to make the first move, by all means I’ll clear the way, but don’t expect me to do the same. I personally feel it can set a confusing tone to a possible relationship.

Refer to Related Topics:

• Men Set The Tone (Jan. 2018)

• Expectations of a Man (Jan. 2017)

• Have a Strong Presence (May 2017)

• She Did WHAT?! (June 2017)

• The Proposal (June 2016)

My Lovely Readers, please share this thought with others:

“Don't allow your loneliness or desperation to be loved be the guiding motivation of how you choose your partner.”

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Home Cooking Meal Suggestion: Turkey Meatloaf

What I Did:

• 2.5 lbs of ground Turkey

• 2 Eggs

• 1.5 Cups of Bread Crumbs

• 3 tbs mince garlic

• 1 tbs garlic Salt

• 1 tbs black pepper

• 1.5 tbs Greek Mix from Vom Fass

• 3 tbs butter

• 2 tbs ground Thai chili peppers

• 4 tbs spicy ketchup

(I did not chop up any bell peppers or onions this go round)

Mix all in bowl and place mixture in a loaf pan. Let cook in the oven for 1 hour on 350° (I didn't put any ketchup on top of the meatloaf, but it is an option)

For the gravy:

Take the meatloaf drippings and put in a separate pot. Add cream or milk and flour to thicken. *I also added garlic salt, ground pepper, Greek Mix, and ground Thai chili peppers for added flavor. Stir until thickened.

Whether You Chose to Address It or Not, It Still Exists

[DISCLAIMER: I understand why companies or groups may want to stay quiet during controversial times. I understand that they may not want to backlash of revealing their thoughts on a topic. I understand they may not want to cause controversies for themselves. There are ways to relay your support and empathy without making a public announcement, it’s okay to want to be careful. -- You've heard the saying, "Silence speaks volumes" or "Silence can be deadly"...yeah, sometimes silence can be damaging to relationships you don't realize are important to keep. Let that sit.]

Sometimes life has its disappointments...food, sports, places, outfits...people. It's one of those guarantees that we plan to avoid, but destiny does not send us heralds and we are met with necessary lessons. The best thing we can is to discuss and share in hopes the experience will birth new enlightenment. — Mind you, this practice is relevant to any topic in life not just about the explosion the world is currently facing. When I'm feeling overwhelmed and my mind is dwindling, I tend to block things I need to address, but my nightly dreams never fail me and like to play "Captain Save-A-Hoe" by dropping off messages for interpretation to remind me I need to put my big girl shoes on and the address issues in my life. What a joy those dreams are. (-__-)

A friend shared THIS ARTICLE with me after I told her I had to have a candid conversation with my high school aged daughter about the racial divides. I also know that I will need to have the same conversation with my son. With having 4 godsons and 1 goddaughter from different families, all black, ages 9 months to 18 years old, I know they had or will be getting the talk from their parents. The article is a first hand narrative of a black man and his experiences of racial inflections even though he comes from a two parent home, prestigious neighborhood and with a high praised education. The article is lengthy, but it is insightful of the author's first hand accounts of racial profiling, embedded systematic bias, and titles. What I really appreciated is that even though the author’s upbringing was whitewashed, he still knew and understood he was different from his friends, they could not fully relate to him and he could not fully relate to them.

Within my children's environment, they are that "token friend" where most of their peers will not be able to relate to my daughter's and my son's experiences because their acceptance in society requires a little more practice and effort...it's a reality not every family has. Although, the main concern with my children is that because they can be oblivious racial issues they may say or doing something that can cause them to face the harsh realities of prejudice and I’m not around to help them process it.

In some of my own circles because my skin tone is darker than what most Americans "expects" Asians to be, I'm usually asked what race I am or mixed with. For those who may be wondering, I am not Black. There have been suggestions that my ancestry is linked to descendants of the Moor People which have African bloodlines, but that's not confirmed and I only know of my Asian history. Although, the two reflections of me do check off the box that reads African American/Black and are Citizens of the U.S. And let me tell you, both of my young ones excel in their academics, are respectful, and have their mother's off keel sense of humor, but that means nothing to people who do not see their human value.

When I would take my kids to birthday parties, my little beautiful brown babies would stick out like sore thumbs and I'd watch how other kids and parents act around them. The kids were fine, it was some of the parents who looked a little too hard for my comfort and were met with a gaze from me. I'm a parent who's of the Knuck of You Buck generation.

Even with my kids having an Asian mother and me not facing the same scrutiny as darker toned friends, it doesn't void negative stereotypes and unbeknownst to some people, my little family does fit into several unflattering statistical categories. I play it down to avoid questioning and sharing too much of our personal lives.

There is an issue, whether we chose to identify it or not.

“Civilization is not, by any means, an easy thing to attain to. There are only two ways by which men can reach it. One is by being cultured, the other by being corrupt.”

- Oscar Wilde

I am interested to see how this year is written in the history books...Australia burning, almost faced WWIII, Kobe Bryant tragically passed, Covid-19 came and is changing the blueprint of business functions, then a senseless death of a man sparked outraged of "Enough is Enough"...and we are only half way through the year. WTF. — Can I return 2020? I think it got damaged during delivery. Although, this may be the defining year that gets us out of our comfort zones.

“The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.”

- Oscar Wilde

It's not ONLY a matter of police brutality, is it an irrational fear other of the Black Community and making decisions from that fear. For some resources to help aide against injustice and racism: CLICK HERE

HERE is a conversation between two influential women, Candace Reese Walters and Carli K. Mathews of Empowering Woman Locally based in *Tuscaloosa, AL. (my review of the city HERE), about having conversations regarding race.

Let me be clear, no one is telling you how to raise your children, but it is a fundamental sin to teach them to second guess someone based on their ethnic backgrounds. These racial crimes stem from people who were once children that were subconsciously or directly fed information to develop negative views against certain demographics.

Have you ever seen that movie, American History X with Edward Norton? It's not a movie for children, but there is a scene where you see how a parent influences a child's views.

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If you are still reading, do you want to know what happens when you die? Every action, every thought, every laugh, every change that could have came from you stops. People go on either remembering you loved them or not knowing how much you truly cared for them and what continues is those lives you've influenced.

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you’re there. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime.” - Ray Bradbury

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Comfort Food Meal: Smothered Chicken over Mashed Red Potatoes

Seasoning for Chicken: Cayenne Pepper, Ground Mustard, Minced Garlic, Garlic Salt, Dried Oregano, Lemon Pepper, Worcestershire Sauce 🧂

I started the base of the pan with chicken stock, collard greens, and mushrooms. Added garlic salt, Brown Sugar, Tabasco sauce, vinegar, and ground pepper. Simmered for 30 mins. 🥬

Then I added the seasoned chicken. On top, I added fresh basil and rosemary, plus asparagus. After 30 minutes, I added 1/2 a can of coconut milk. 🥥

Allow to cook on medium for 45 more minutes ⌚

Red Potatoes: Boiled until soft. Then mashed with butter and added garlic powder and dried oregano. 🥔

Welcome Back…Kinda

Travel Protection

Hello Humans, welcome back to the outside. How does the air smell? First, let me get this thought out of the way, “Can somebody’s President PLEASE listen to his speech writers?! I don’t want to make this political because when it comes to politics, I pay attention to the policies not necessarily the person sitting in the seat. But c’mon now — Let’s word things a bit better. Can we at least seem like we have some of the top rated schools in the country?

[If you want to catch a good movie that pokes fun of political stereotypes, stream The Hunt. The movie stars Hillary Swank, but you don't see her until mid scenes. The film has a bit of humor and references George Orwell's Animal Farm which perked my ears when I heard one of the characters say, "She's our Snowball". For those who don't remember or did not study Animal Farm in middle school, the novel is a political satire about the Soviet Union during Communist rule; basically the oppression from government powers.]

Moving on, let’s do a recap:

• Quarantine orders are lifting (some of you didn’t adhere to them in the first place). Congratulations you’ve completed Level 4 of Jumanji. There’s still talks about us getting another round of the Virus near the end of the year that will couple with Flu and Cold Season — Alrighty then, let’s mask-on and do this! *Keep yourselves protected. (I am in no rush to risk getting sick.)

• This is my sole opinion but, some people are just idiots when it comes to this whole pandemic; just making the most questionable decisions no matter who it affects. Yeah, not all of us can be heros and we may relate more to the villain, but we don’t have to choose that route. Remember my thoughts in “Everyone Loves the Hero, but No One Forgets the Villain.” Some people are already hard to forget but, others are just senseless.

• A lot of people and companies are not planning to head back into the office or open their doors any time soon. — Me, I am people.

• Many small businesses did not survive and were unable to get Relief Loans and yet, huge corporation received emergency funding…..hmmmmm, how did that happen? To the small businesses that not only had a physical location, but also an online retail service for goods and supplies before the pandemic hit, smart moves, you guys were ahead of the curve and already created a stable brand with loyal customers to keep you from plummeting. And credit to those small business owners who had a '“rain day” account and/or whom are deeply connected to their communities that this little setback didn’t hurt much. If you have a business and have not invested in marketing….ya might want to get on that.

• Those of you who received some of the stimulus aid learned really quick it was not enough. Others are still waiting on their checks. And some people who are getting the extra Unemployment aid are making more money now than when they were working. — I hope you know about budgeting and managing expenses.

• Mental Health has become a problem and the trauma of the pandemic did not help and within that issue, Domestic Violence cases has gone up (HERE is an organization that helps women financially to leave an abusive relationship.)

• Some relationships have been tested and facing the brink of failure. A good friend is set to be married this year and his fiance is now questioning their love for one another, but that's not my business to discuss. — Hang in there Homie, you’ll get through it. As I mentioned it in a previous post, Marry Your Bestfriend = Marry someone who you get excited to tell good news to, who you like being around even if you're saying nothing, who tries to understand you, who wants to stand by and work with you through life's changes, who makes you laugh on the hard days, who makes the best days even better, and who can lock eyes with you and you get the feeling of admiration.

• I’ll keep this PG, but we may see an influx of newborns in DEC/JAN/FEB. -- Hey Babies, Auntie RayRay will be ready to dress you up next summer. We are doing 2 summers next year.

• The Stock Market is a shit show. I guess I’m not retiring this year. Yet, that didn’t stop me from buying some energy stocks that are now under $10. (See more info on energy stocks HERE.)

• So many people don’t know how to wear masks properly and I feel like I’m about to go rob a bank anytime I pull my mask up before walking into a building. — “Okay, park the car around back, leave the engine running, I’ll be out with the goods in 14.2 minutes. If I’m not out be then, just head to the meetup spot and wait for my call.”

• Video conferencing platforms has skyrocketed and is the new phone call: Zoom, Google Meet/Hangouts/Duo, Microsoft Meetings, etc.

• “Club Quarantine” has rescued many of us from going crazy. I added some more 70’s and 80’s songs to my daily playlist. — Don’t think too much on how old I may be, I’m old enough to see that your well-to-do son may be nice, but his well-to-do divorcee father would be a better fit to my life. #WhosYoDaddy

• TikTok is this thing the kids are using to show off...whatever they like to show off these days. Also, if you were not aware, here is some trivia: TikTok was developed by ByteDance a Chinese corporation that headquarters in Beijing and averages about 7 Billion in revenue a year. ByteDance is valued at US$75 billion, making it the most valuable startup in the world. Zhang Yiming, founded the company in 2012 and is 37 years old. His net worth is 16.2 billion for 2020. WOW. How serious do you think a 16.2 billion dollar man is when conducting business meetings? (No, the company is not publicly traded, I already checked.)

A man once told me:

"The more successful you are, the more people you'll disappoint, the more promises you'll break; not to mention the hearts you'll shatter, and the more of a threat you become. When you are sitting at the top of your success, be prepared for the work that comes with managing the people around you.

He also said to me:

When you put your money away, keep the lower bills on the outside to hide your bigger bills, don't ever talk about how much money you have. Let them assume."

I like it when men give me useful life tidbits. The man who gave me this knowledge owns a NBA team. -- I’m pretty sure he knows what he's talking about.

• Homeschooling is not for everyone. — Not sure if the case went anywhere but, a few Drexel University students have sued the school over the appropriation of their student loans since now they are tele-learning. When my current institution switched to 100% e-learning, to ensure all on campus students were aware of the procedures, all the faculty sent out emails giving set by step instructions on where to locate materials and how to complete assignments online. I giggled over this because, I’ve been e-learning the whole time with my program and some of the instructions seemed very grade school. Also, let’s see about my NEXT degree. Yup, might as well go back in for another round. Hey, why not? I hear Harvard has a good Business program or because of the rising issues with mental wellness, I may revisit what my first degree started. Don’t worry, I’ll offer a discount on your first therapy session.

• Alcohol deliveries will continue indefinitely in some areas. — Goodness, I don’t know who all is raising the upcoming generations but, let’s try to be functional drinkers….for the kids.

• Some of you are really good cooks, I applaud you. I've been taking extra time to make my plates photogenic.

• I began curating Essential Packs for busy women in mid February and since then I’ve been working with nonprofits to get these packs to women involved in their organizations. Plus, I’ve been able to connect with new vendors for other essential items to include into your daily routines.

• When I feel it’s my time to go out into the world, I may just disappear for 2 months. — Don’t send a search party and don’t tag my phone, the signal will be diverted. I promise I will be safe. I’ll mail out postcards; Wish you were here!

Lastly, I love all your emails. Thank you.

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Different Languages

What did Tevin Campbell say? "Can we talk for a minute?"

Let's face it, men and women speak different languages, whether it is family, friends, or lovers.  A man may not receive what I say how I delivered it to mean and I cannot assume he will automatically know the intent of my words.  Yet, what I can be aware of is the person of whom I am speaking with.  Depending on your audience, you may have to adjust your speech, the words you use, the tone you use them in, your expressions, your body language, all of that, so there is no misunderstanding but, again....different languages.

So, what if the conversation is through text and someone misinterpreted the meaning of your message?  Again, know your audience, although, in the same sense, your audience should know you as well.  Either way, depending on the connection you have with said person, you may need to decipher whether or not it is worth explaining your meaning or intent.  If the one who misunderstood, lashed out before any clarity, then I suggest accessing the reality of this person in true form and not even invest anymore thought in communicating at all.  Why continue to look at your dirty hands when you can just wash them clean?  Buuuut...it's not my business how you communicate or how frequently you communicate with silly people.  Carrying on...

I have realized that some men tend to forget they are speaking with a woman and say things that just make NO SENSE AT ALL! (Okay, I know I have male readers, I am not a man, so my perspective is purely of a woman and my experiences with your kind.  Sorry but, not really.) And I find myself giving a sideways look or reaction as if to say, "Did this just happen?  Am I slow?  Did I miss something?  Is he speaking to me like that?  Is he serious?"...Then my mind wanders elsewhere..."I wonder if my dry cleaning is done.  Did I pay my car note yet?  What did my boss want me to do tomorrow?"

Here is my disclaimer: I am going to be very frank to any man who is reading this and any man I come across, I don't do the dramatics especially if you are a MAN.  Yes, at times I am overzealous, facetious, and nonchalant, not for reasons of being a woman but, for reasons of where I am at in my life right now.  And YES, I can be dramatic if I want to, why? BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN, it is in my nature and in my contract with God to be an emotional mess when necessary or unnecessary.  Unfair?  Oh well, write a book or pray about it.  And I know for damn sure I am not quiet about my opinions on love and romance at this point in my juncture; ask any man who has had a conversation with me about it.  So if you have an issue, state it.  Whether you feel I am being cold, insensitive, selfish, spoiled, stubborn, whatever, tell me but, please collect your thoughts before hand and make sure your monologue is something I will be receptive to....if I do not respond, WAIT.  DO NOT begin to assume anything of what I may be thinking.  I guarantee you cannot fathom how my thought process works.

If a good amount of time goes by and I do not respond, then contact me again, because if you were not aware, let me educate you, I work, I have two children, I maintain a website, I read, I study, I have friends, I socialize, I live my life accordingly and there is a possible chance that I did not have time to answer you.  Yet, if I consider you a genuine friend, someone I can see a steady connection with, then I do make a point to set time aside to respond (Note: This list of men who I consider in this manner is very small...more like one person whom has been very patient with me, accepts who and where I am in my life at this moment, so yes, this one man does get very thoughtful and thorough words from me and has been just as consistent with his communication towards me.  I do have other guy friends I catch up with from time to time but, they are in a different category from this particular man).

Also make note, I will prolong my response to you if you were in anyway demeaning, aggressive, or shown me a completely unappealing side of you, in which case I may never respond.  So speak to me in the language that YOU feel is correct as a man and I will speak to you in the language that I feel is correct as a woman.  If there is misunderstanding, address it and be patient, or let it all the way go.  I use myself as the reference since I cannot speak for all women but, the many I know concur with these thoughts. 

Adding to the topic of interpretation....

What say you of this? Initially when I read it, I did not understand the meaning but, the statement is left open for you to distinguish your own meaning.

My view of it is both men are behind masks so anyone's face could be under that mask.  Batman represents heroism, doing good for others, making the right decisions, and everything we are taught as children to do or be mindful of.  The Joker on the other hand, represents everything else.  I do not necessarily see him as the face of evil but, more so the face of reality......the reality that the world is not as perfect once we walk pass our mailboxes.  The reality that the world contains so much more chaos then we would like it to have and not everyone is a hero at all times.....not even Batman.  And while you are letting that sink in, let me add another thought for your cerebrum....Batman is always so serious even as Bruce Wayne, just very stern, while Joker is always smiling even when being defeated....and they both seem to have an equal amount of weight on their shoulders.  Yup, let that marinate.

Speaking of marinate...
I was elected to cook this weekend....yup, while I was away from home but, my friend was away from home as well, so no, I did not mind at all especially since the request was pork chops!  Que in Lionel Richie...Hello...