Depression

As more years go by, I am realizing how important mental health is. For some reason it is still a taboo topic and many people avoid addressing it or make it seem like mental health issues doesn’t exist. From personal experience…THEY DO EXSIST.

About 3/4 years ago I fell into a funk. I didn’t want to eat, I didn’t want to see people or go out, and it was a struggle for me to get out of bed, but here was the thing…nothing was going wrong in my life. Work was great, family was great, friends were great, everything was GREAT. So what was wrong with me?!

For a long time, I was one of those people who didn’t believe in depression. I once believed that it was just an excuse people used to lay around all day and ignore phone calls…I was wrong. (Although, I do think people exhaust their conditions to avoid certain responsibilities.)

Yes, there is a neurological problem that causes your moods and energy levels to shift or be low, but you can still function through it. There is a self motivation element that one needs to have to overcome these challenges. You may have people to tell you to snap out of your funk or encourage you to be happy about what you have or what you achieved, but it doesn't change anything if you don't “feel like it". YOU have to want to pull yourself out of it. After being in denial and knowing I didn't want to continue to feel like this, I had to force myself to “get better" and to redirect my mind towards a more healthy routine.

For me it is “Seasonal Depression” when the weather changes with the hours of the day and it gets darker sooner, so around the winter months. I sometimes face it in the early spring as well, but it’s more prominent between August and January. I struggle to smile, to do things I normally do like fun things with the kids or catching up with friends. I even get very short with people at work and all I want to do is stay in bed all day. I feel empty.

*Also, I should mention that when I do go through these bouts, I have to assess whether it is an imbalance or if there is something really bothering me that is affecting my mood and behavior. I can sometimes take on the feelings of others, their problems, their struggles, etc. and it dwells in my mind; things that do not directly effect me, but I still feel some sort of attachment to whatever someone I care about is going through. It’s called transference in psychology and it’s like a transfer of energy.

When I finally accepted my mental health issue, I vehemently decided NOT to take any prescription medications. I was discussing my state of mind with a colleague and she advised me on supplemental vitamins that she uses. I began to take the vitamins right away and noticed a MAJOR difference in my moods. (Consult with your doctor. Each supplement is hyperlink for further details. Brands vary.)

✔ Magnesium: Helps boost energy and fight depression

✔ ADB5 Plus: Helps adrenal functions and balancing hormones

✔ St. John's Forte: Helps with mild depression symptoms, stress, and anxiety.

Now, that it has been a few years, I don't always take all these together or even every day, however I do take them consistently when I feel like I’m sinking further and cannot seem to pull myself up on my own. I learned to pay close attention to my body and moods and sometimes I'll just take the magnesium depending on my imbalance. Other times I take nothing because I learned to divert my mind to something that keeps me proactive and productive.

I also became more active with writing down affirmations for myself.

Hey, life is a mess at times and we never know what to expect or how we’ll handle tough situations, but somehow, someway, we have to keep going.

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What to do between Birmingham & Tuscaloosa

A continued review from “A Journey In Tuscaloosa”…

Editor’s Note: This post has been updated due to closures and new openings.

So Alabama has sort of become my second home since last year….I know, of all the states in the U.S., ya girl ended up in Alabama, not LA, not the CHI, not MIA, not NYC, but Sweet Home ALABAMA! — I guess I should count my blessings though because I’m still not too far away from the family in Texas.

Let me start by saying, “Forget all the stereotypes you may have heard growing up and don’t think that 1 person represents all people.” — There may be parts of Alabama that is still very….ummmm….Confederate and Country, but other parts of it are a little more open. (And I hate to say this, but there is still the mindset that “women should not be working in business with men” and at times I’ve faced scrutiny over it. Although, this can happen anywhere, not just Alabama….Can’t I be a woman and not be harassed by “professional” men I work with?!)

Anyway, let me not bore you with business talk, let’s discuss all the things you can do and see between Birmingham and Tuscaloosa. — Yes, there are more cities in Alabama, but I’ve only explored the two, bare with me folks.

TUSCALOOSA - Tuscaloosa is what I like to consider a secluded city. Everything you need is there, but you’ve got to look for it or know people who know how to find it. Nonetheless, here’s what you can do besides watch the games.

For the Foodies - I’m getting impressed with what I’m finding here and there and all of you should know by now….I’m a pretty good eater.

• Burgers: Downtown Tuscaloosa has become a great hub for good eats. The common favorite is Avenue Pub. Next is a new small eatery called Jack Browns.

• There’s a new Jamaican restaurant called, Reggae Flava, on 4th street that you should consider dropping in on (UPDATE: No longer operating). A Mexican place called Jalepenos Downtown has great street tacos and margaritas. Several brunch places such as, Brick & Spoon (pretty good mimosas and by request, they made the Michelada drink I like), and 5 Bar (great coffee, just add a little Irish Cream if you really want to get your weekend started) are also downtown along with many other choices for food right within walking distance of one another. Check out Cravings when you’re here, it’s like a 1 and done stop shop for food, drinks, and snacks. For the evening, see about Depalma’s Italian Cafe, their stuffed mushrooms are amazing! A little further on the outskirts, River is a nice place for a quiet evening dinner, see Yancey for your drinks. And there is a new little ice cream shop called, Las Pinas, that makes the Mangonadas I’ve come to LOVE while living in Texas and I’m so happy that I can find it here too. If you want to try more different cultural flavors and a fan of Indian food, check out Sitar. There is so much more this town offers, just venture out and look or ask around.

Giphy

For the Relaxers - If you identify with the “Caterpillar” from Alice in Wonderland (my favorite character aside from the Mad Hatter and the Cheshire Cat), there are a few places you can relax at (hookah or cigars) to puff some smoke.

• (Update: No longer operating. The city is strict in these types of business, but there is a hookah bar outside of downtown). Big Daddy’s is the hot spot for hookah and is also a pit stop for Mediterranean food and an after hours slow down.

• There’s also a few “toned down” bars where you can enjoy a classic cocktail, my suggestion, Session . If you are the wine and cheese type, a brand new hot spot called The Wine Market is perfect to relax and enjoy some reds. Brown's Corner has come back to play and is located upstairs of Half Shells restaurant. So Cal is a another Mexican restaurant, but the newest feature is upstairs and is separate business from the restaurant called, The Cocktail Collection. The cool element about this place is the door into the bar is a retro soda vending machine that requires a code. Don’t worry they alway share the newest code on their instagram.

For the Party-Goers - Speaking of cocktails, there are PLENTY of bars around town to keep you entertained. I mean this IS a college town. Just go on Google and search “Bars near me” and I guarantee at least 10 will pull up. Choose whichever one is more your speed. Lounges and clubs are around, again, pick your preferred scene.

Shopping - Ummmm…go to Birmingham.

(I feel like the City of Tuscaloosa should have an online directory to let people know about places and events. — Hey Mr. Mayor! Call me, I won’t charge too much!)

BIRMINGHAM - Here’s little history, had certain forefathers decided differently about what to do with Birmingham, it would have been like Atlanta today. But, don’t dismiss what this city offers, the culinary scene is much to be discussed as with the nightlife.

For the Foodies - I’m still exploring the food scene in Birmingham, there is more than I expected in this city. You’ve got your full service restaurants, your coffee houses, pick up and go places, and many patio dining options.

• A few places I recommend are, McFly’s Bird Shoppe, Five Point House and Oyster Bar, Black Market Bar and Grill, Jim n Nick’s BBQ, Chez Fonfon, The Wine Loft, and Golden Age Wine.

For the Relaxers - Pick your poison. You can stop in at a lounge, bar, or restaurant early before it starts to get busy and just wind down with your thoughts.

For the Party-Goers - The hot spots are a little spread out, but not too far out. There are little groups of places that are within walking distance of each other depending on what side of town you’re in.

• So far I’ve been to 3000, Hush Lounge, Safe House, Urban Smoke, Collins Bar, Queenspark, and there is a rooftop lounge I can’t remember and another place I went to that I cannot recall the name of at this moment, I’m pretty sure I’ve been to more places. — I am a firm believer of FUN is what you make of it, so I always enjoy my time out no matter where it is.

Shopping - You’ve got The Summit and Riverchase Galleria (P.S. - Hey Riverchase, your website needs an upgrade). Both are filled with well known retailers and plenty of places to take a break and eat.

Between the two cities, it’s about a 50 minute drive depending on where you are going, so what you may not be able to find in one, you can find in the other. I think my next choice will be somewhere in the middle of the two areas to cut down on the trip to and from.

For more detailed reviews of where I’ve been, check out my GOOGLE pages.

Stock Market For Beginners (E-BOOK)

If you did not get a chance to catch this post when I shared all the basics about the Stock Market for FREE…

You can still get all the research I gathered when I began investing in the UPDATED 2021 eBook for just $12.

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Here are some key topics from the E-Book:

The are 2 major stock exchanges in the U.S.

1. The New York Stock Exchange (NYSE)

2. NASDAQ

Here are the basic Stock Terms: (There are 9 more listed in the E-Book)

1. What is a STOCK? A stock is a type of investment that represents an ownership share in a company

2. What is a SHAREHOLDER? A person who purchased a stock and now owns that stock which is a portion of a company.

3. What is a STOCK PORTFOLIO? A portfolio is a grouping of financial assets such as stocks, bonds, commodities, currencies and cash equivalents, as well as their fund counterparts, including mutual, exchange-traded and closed funds. A portfolio can also consist of non-publicly tradable securities, like real estate, art, and private investments

Other Topics I Cover:

• Conservative vs. Aggressive Investing

• Stock Order Types

• User-Friendly Apps for Beginners detailing features of each app

• Book Suggestions

• Author’s Notes

The eBook covers all the basic information to help you gain stock market knowledge so you can feel more comfortable about starting your investment portfolio today!

GET THE E-BOOK NOW

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Here is another download with information on certain tech stocks.

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OTHER WAYS TO MAKE MONEY

Here are more options outside of stock trading to gain added income:

• Sell your skills/knowledge - Utilize what you know, package it up, develop an audience and sell

• Monetize your website - Use tools like Adsense, Google Analytics, and Amazon features to make money when people visit your site

• Referral Links - Take advantage of special links that pay you a commission when someone signs up or purchases through your link

• eCommerce - Create a store and sell online. With so many user friendly eCommerce apps, there are many ways to sell almost anything you want online

*Later on, I’ll provide more comprehensive information that will feature tips on how to earn extra income. This may be great for those who have been furloughed or feel they are not making enough with their current employer. But remember, nothing is earned without putting in the work.

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Travel: Pandemic Edition

THIS WILL BE A LONGER READ THAN NORMAL, I SUGGEST READING SECTIONS AND COMING BACK TO READ MORE LATER.

1. New Orleans

2. Flight: MYS to PHL

3. Visit through Philly and Delaware

4. Flight: PHL to MYS - New Orleans again

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It seems as the this pandemic is not going away anytime soon and with people still defying orders, it is probably safe to say that our new way of life is to continue to stay sanitized….all over. Although, we are advised to stay home and away from large gatherings, many of us still need to be out and/or travel for work or other reasons -- I am one of those people.

Recently, I took and road trip and a flight to two destinations, New Orleans and Philadelphia.  Here is what I experienced along with a few tips to keep yourself safe.

Everyday Health TIP: If you read my previous discourse (HERE), then you know I routinely take ACV and Elderberry supplements.  I packed these along with other vitamins.  I also packed my own soaps, lotions, disposable towelettes, and hair care products. 

To see my reviews on where I visited and the food I ate: See my Google Reviews or Yelp Reviews

Also, to prepare yourself with some essential travel items, see my Amazon Picks in Health & Wellness and Travel.

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1. Road Travel: The ride to NOLA was not bad, I left early in the morning and got there in the mid-afternoon.  I made sure to pack wipes and disinfectant spray since with both cities, I was staying in hotels.  Each hotel was taking their own precautions and requiring visitors to wear masks while in the lobby and other public areas.

• Hotel: Royal St. Charles

  • Staff was very friendly and allowed me to check-in early.

  • Rooms were clean, but as an added measure I wiped down all surfaces.

• Activities – Even though there was a business aspect to my trip, can you really go to New Orleans and not partake in the culture during the day and the nightlife when the sun goes down? TIP: Wear comfortable shoes.

  • For the most part about 90% of people were wearing masks.  Each business also required masks as you entered, but can take them off if you were seated at the bar or a table. There were also sanitizing stations in almost every business, but I still carried my own bottle and cleaned my hands like crazy.

  • Although people maintained a good distance, once the alcohol started flowing, people didn’t think too much about personal space.  I was still coherent enough to not get too close to people. 

    • And applause to the nice man of the (K)rimson (K)rew – insider reference — who chatted me up the whole night and made sure I was not in harms way (I think he is originally from Baton Rouge, LA.) – I always appreciate it when men are gentlemanly and chivalrous without expecting anything in return…You guys are every women’s MVP.

    • Drinking TIP: Take a pain killer or BC Powder before you start drink and before going to sleep, take an all-purpose vitamin.  This will help from feeling the pain and grogginess of a hangover.

  • I noticed some places required you to sign in leaving your name and number in order to keep track of people and contact them if there was any issues regarding COVID.

    • Many of the restaurants spaced out their tables and were good at wiping everything down after guests.  You were also given plastic utensils to eat with and for menus, there were QR Codes to scan so that you did not have to touch a physical menu unless you requested one.

• Ride to the Airport

  • I planned my travel to Philadelphia from NOLA and parked in a self-serve economy parking.  

  • The shuttle from the parking lot to the airport was slightly different than expected: The driver did not offer to help with the bags (safety precaution maybe) and even though everyone knew to keep a distance, there wasn’t any signs or markings to skip a seat when seating yourself.

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2. Air Travel: I was a little nervous with flying during the pandemic, but I really did not want to drive 20 hours from NOLA to Philadelphia.

• Flight: American Airlines (MYS to PHL)

  • I used my frequent flyer miles to book my flight, but even when I looked at the regular pricing it was still fairy cheap; less than $200 per person and booking at least 3 weeks prior.

    • When booking, there is a message pop-up that gives you airport regulations such as wearing face covers, not having a fever, or experiencing COVID symptoms

    • The booking was also flexible, I could cancel or reschedule my flight without any added fees if I need to.  I did not have to do or pay anything extra for this option.

  • It was my first time at the New Orleans Airport and even though it was small, I still had to look twice at where I needed to be.

    • Depending on where you are dropped off, third floor is ticketing services and second floor is terminals.

  • Getting through check-in and airport security was the same as usual outside of having the distance markers on the ground.

    • Opt for an electronic boarding pass on your phone so you don’t have to worry about keeping track of anything extra. 

      *I did bring a second form of ID with me due to my driver’s license being expired and not being able to renew because of state offices being closed and only taking appointment for other driver needs.

    • Many of the eateries were closed and the ones that were open had limited seating.

  • Boarding the plane was the same standard aside from the fact that you need to keep your mask on for the entire flight.  The flight was not crowded at all, in fact my row ended up being full, but there were several empty rows that I was able to relocate and get more open seating space.  Again, I wiped down everything before getting settled.

    • There was no snack and beverage service.  When I boarded the plane, I was handed a small paper bag with a bottled water, sanitizer, and pretzels. So if you feel you may get hungry, make an order to go at one of the open restaurants before getting on the plane.

  • The Philadelphia airport is one I am all too familiar with.  It’s home. Unboarding and baggage claim remains the same; no special standards or precautions, but I did have a cleaning wipe ready in my hands to grab my bag handle.

  • Getting a rental car was the best and easiest option for me to get around. I went with ALAMO. And again, in the shuttle to the rental office, there was no assistance with the bags.

    • *I did not tell anyone I was coming into town to avoid any expectations of me stopping by.  Those I did visit, it was a last-minute surprise. – Yes of course I wiped down the rental car as much as I could.

• Hotel: Hilton Garden

  • A little slow checking people in, staff was not as personable as I would have liked them to be

  • Rooms were clean — but cleaner after my wipe down

• Activities - I was between Pennsylvania and Delaware and just like Louisiana, all the businesses were taking precautions. Many of them only offering take out and delivery. Bars and Pubs were open, required distancing and masks upon entry.

  • I did decide to find some ramen soup just the get some herbs and spices into my system.

  • I also had a few Emergen - C Packs with me and made sure I took one each day.

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3. Visiting my early years.

My main purpose of visiting home was to take care of some things, visit some people and see a few of my old stomping grounds. I have a lot of memories between Middletown, DE and Philadelphia, PA.

I believe it was a true blessing moving away from my childhood home and my young adulthood home. I think physically disconnecting from places (and sometimes people) I was too comfortable with gave me more of a sense of personal and professional growth. I was open to the change and embraced it and in turn, I developed life tools to see beyond a small radius. It’s a risk I would take all over again.

I love coming back home when I can. One of my first places to go is WaWa. Now if you don’t know what WaWa is — which many people don’t — think of a mini convenient store that is also a deli with good fresh food, also a cafe with amazing coffee, also a gas station and also open 24/7. I know, I know, you’re probably thinking, “But, Raya we have gas stations like that around us that are just as good.” …..Ummmmm, NO. YOU. DON’T. What makes Wawa great is the freshly prepared food when you order it, even at 2:32am. It’s not just snack foods, it’s full meals at any time of day. This place even has it’s own brand of coffee and juices!

• Plus no sales tax!!! One of the places I did eat at called, Paddy Whacks on South St., had a “sanitizing fee” which was about $5.

Yet, coming home wasn’t all about visiting familiar places, but also seeing what’s new in what I knew. Remember my review of Tuscaloosa, AL? And how I mentioned it reminded me of my childhood town and how now it’s developed tremendously in the span of 20 years? Well, I love driving through the old streets and trying to reminisce what was once there before it became a health clinic or a new high school or a Walmart. Would I ever move back? No, I have no plans and I am enjoying my life in the south.

(Okay, this next part is for mature audiences only) — Ladies, there is nothing like a northeast man; whether he is from Philly, Jersey, or one of the borrows in New York, their demeanor is unmatched. Just think of DMX in his “How it’s going down” video (DMX is not my drink of choice, but in the same flight of drinks). Northeast men are aggressive, cocky and tell you what it’s going to be — won’t let you out of his life without a fight and may say something like:

“Look now, you’re my woman and I love you, so stop acting up and bring your ass over here to me.” or “I’m going to have dinner at _______. I’m going to text you the address, you should be there by 7p.” — I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes women want to be told, not asked. (Many years ago, around 2012/13ish, when I entertained the idea of dating, a man I was getting to know once sent me a text that read: “I’m cooking tonight, be at my house by 8.” I didn’t respond because my initial reaction was…Who tf does he think he’s talking to like that?!…but guess where my ass was by 8pm! It was a great home cooked meal too. This man is now married to a nice woman who was ready to love him back.) Okay, some of you may be thinking this behavior is borderline verbal abuse, it’s not. — When a man knows what he wants, desires you, and strives to do right by you, then putting a little bass in his voice when he’s telling you to stop being stubborn and let him love you isn’t harmful. I mean, I may allow a man I’m involved with to call me b*tch in the right context…but don’t get too comfortable with it because you’re not too grown to get popped.

There is a difference between being dominate and being abusive. And northeast women can be aggressive too (many of us northeasters talk hard, we mean no harm by it, it’s just our form of vernacular — we are not for the weak). Don’t get me wrong, I love the southern charm that have come my way, but if ever there is a man who has both the down south morals and chivalry mixed with the confidence and the “I run this shit” attitude….ya girl might end up married again and give that man some sons. — AND MANY OF YOU KNOW I DON’T WANT ANYMORE CHILDREN. — Eh, my soulmate is probably lost…Marco….Marco….

• Funny thing, I did notice that the TSA at the Philadelphia airport were a lot more friendlier than those at the New Orleans airport.

No, there is no place like home, but I currently call several places home.

• There were some people who were upset that I didn’t make time to see them (possibly forgetting that it is still COVID season and that I know too many people to see in one short visit) so they did not have the friendliest words for me, but last I checked, I’m not married to anyone and I’m not about to explain my time and my schedule to everybody — too many people from my past know a version of me that no longer exists — that’s the side effects of growth.

I’ve learned to go forward and if I go backwards, it’s not to relive, but only to remember.

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4. PHL back to MYS.

I decided to stay one more night in New Orleans before heading back to my true reality. The flight back again was not crowded and I had some space to place my things on the seat next to me.

This time I used my IHG points and stayed at the Crown Plaza on Canal & Bourbon.

• There were no complaints throughout my stay at this hotel except when it was time for the valet to retrieve my car. It took over 35 minutes for the staff to pull my car up and when I got in, the driver side seat was lounged back as if someone had been sitting in it for a while and got comfortable. I. WAS. NOT. PLEASED.

Also, by the time I got back to New Orleans, there were more COVID restrictions in place and even less businesses were open, so it was hit and miss with what I was able to do and see.

I still feel like Bonnie minus the Clyde whenever I pull my mask up, but it’s become our normal routine now.

Other than that, I enjoyed my trip. We can travel during the pandemic, we just have to play it safe and be particular about what we do and who we are around.

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