Today’s climate for women has drastically changed since 50 or even 15 years ago, but for some reason many of us still feel the need to be dependent on someone else. If your whole purpose in life is to be a wife or someone’s arm candy then let me not sway you any different. Some women are good at using their looks to live good in life….I’m not one of those women, trust me I look a hot mess in the mornings and I am not about to rush to get up in the morning to make myself beautiful just to fit someone else’s standard.
Social media tends to drown out female powerhouses who hustle hard and reach the top on their own. And even then, you’ll have critics who will say, “She slept her way into money.” Some people just cannot separate the fact that women CAN do things without a man’s aide. We can do the research, we can request for information, we can call meetings, we can organize. Many things you see around us is Pretty, Sexy, or Visually Pleasing in a way that it dilutes your sense of reality, but there are very intelligent women who use more than their looks to make a living.
Let me be transparent, I know how I look, I know I’m a bit easy on the eyes, that I appeal to many races because of my “exotic” features, and I sometimes dress in a way that invokes interest, but don’t get it twisted, I’m not gallivanting with several men, asking for handouts, or showing myself to get attention. And even if I share my number, doesn’t mean I am interested, I’m just social. — There are so many unnamed numbers in my phone, I couldn’t even begin to pinpoint what number belongs to who, most times the conversations end after I close out my tab.
I didn’t earn multiple degrees and certifications, and develop more than one stream of income for someone to take care of me. I didn’t start entry-level and pulled evening and weekend hours to meet deadlines just for people to only say, “She’s just a pretty girl.” — Nah fam, I’m more than that. And I also didn’t do all this for someone to come in my life a take away all my accolades because he rather me sit home and wait for him. (No reference to anyone in particular…I know how some of your minds work.)
You may be wondering why the title of this post is “Receipts” or what it has to do with what I am talking about. Well, because there are different categories of women and some of us are in the category of collecting our own receipts. Let me elaborate, I am not one who expects a man to financially take care of me. If he is capable and he offers, that’s one thing, but I will not expect someone to do for me if I cannot do for myself first. SIDENOTE: I do like fresh flowers in my home at least once a week, so if he goes out of his way to get me a bouquet, it’ll mean a lot.
Even if I am seriously involved with a man, he will not have the sole responsibility of carrying us both, I am bringing plenty to the table too. My partner will not be the only one who comes out of pocket, I’ll pick up the tab for us and our company if we are entertaining people, I’ll pay a few expenses, I’ll put money down on a business venture. I may be careful with my finances, but I’m not stingy with my wallet. I can’t take money to the after life with me, so why not do what I can with it while I’m here? One of the benefits of being with someone is that they make your life more enjoyable. I want for my partner to be proud to have someone like me, proud that I am not just a face, that I have my own ambitions and motivation to be great in life and to look over at me and say with confidence, “Yeah, that’s my lady.” We still have our masculine and feminine roles, but on paper, we bring the same efforts to each other. Although, this isn’t about being in a relationship, it’s about being a woman who can stand on her own and mind you, You cannot control who you attract, but you do control who you entertain, who you have interests in and what types of interest you have in a person.
I applaud any woman who strives to obtain and maintain the life she wants and feels she deserves without being co-dependent on someone getting her there. One of the main reasons women throughout history fought for our rights was/is to be seen as equivalent beings to men. — So how can we fight to be equal and to make our own decisions for our lives if we still want to have our hands out waiting to be saved?
