This is Not a Dating Place

Dress: JLux Label | Shoes: Calvin Klein

There is all sorts of inappropriate behavior in the workplace. Many of us are immune to it because we are not offended by it although, it doesn't excuse bad behavior. Bad behavior...by policy guidelines.

I'm sure somewhere in your employment history, you've discussed religion and politics or have overheard coworkers immersed in conversation over those topics. And at happy hour, you may have gotten to chummy with someone in another department. Be very careful with what you say and do outside of the office, sometimes people will interpret the wrong message. As personable as I am, I keep my lines very defined between business and personal.

So then, what about dating in the workplace? Is it still a taboo topic? Do we not address it at all until it affects the business? More often than not, I hear of employees dating each other and it becoming a debacle. When the news gets to me, it's like an episode of Jerry Springer and I'm trying to separate two feuding children. I don't know who is right and who is wrong but, I know they can't work together or further cause disruption in the workplace.

Usually in many companies fraternizing with coworkers is frowned upon because it can lead to a shift in performance. Not to mention pursuing your employees is also a big risk and can do damage to your position. Keeping it professional is the expectation. Anytime I hear of a colleague take interest in someone at work, I voice my concerns and tell the person to be careful of their actions.

About 85% of the people I work with are married and the other 15%....No, thank you. Again, I don't mix business with pleasure and I certainly don't interfere with a marriage...for those of you who think little of someone's marriage, see my disgust on the topic HERE. (One should never be so voided of reality and morals to want the attention of someone's spouse. With all the people in the world, you want the one you can't have?) I understand people will do as they desire, but I don’t have to accept it for myself.

We've heard stories of the high power CEO making way at the young receptionist and the brawls between two women who are seeing the same executive. Humans, I tell ya, animals.

Is it worth it? I suppose I can understand that you see these people more often than you may see your friends or family and you become well acquainted with the people you work with. You have similar interests and joke with each other to get through the day. Maybe my thinking is too strict, but unless I was married to you before we began working together, than I have no interest in a relationship with anyone I work with. And how do you date someone who works for you? It's like you are paying them to be your companion, do they get extra benefits for good performance? Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'm being facetious. I do however agree that women should date across and up, but not down, and for the sake of my argument, we should still date outside of workplace. Ladies, if you want him that badly, find another job or have thick skin for the scrutiny you may receive.

Now with so many dating sites that you can maneuver through right in the palm of your hands, you can sort through thousands of people in your area (Not me and don’t look for me. I signed up for one dating app for a few months in 2013, I got tired of it pretty quickly. I didn't have a bad experience, I also wasn't expecting much. I did meet some nice people, some of whom I've become friends with and still keep in touch with, others realize they weren’t getting anywhere with me and found their own exits. I'm currently not a member of any dating apps. If you see my picture, then my dear, you are being catfished. That has actually happened before. A story for another day.) You also run the chance of seeing your coworkers on these sites and other people you know from different places. A friend of mine once matched with his professor, awkward.

But how do we separate our personal interests from our professional domains? Are some of us not able to control the chemical imbalances that urge us to act like primates? Am I the outcast here? Because I don't look for romance at my place of business? If I work with you, above you, or for you, I'm most certainly not interested in you. I feel it to be an uncomfortable notion. Although, there are people who've met at work, married one another, and....well, I don't know those endings for no one in my circle has married someone they worked with. But I'm just going to go on to say, it's a safe bet not to date people you work with.

Related articles: Business Woman to Business Wife | The Busy Woman | The Boys Club

"Power Couples"

UPDATED: 03/07/2020

(Happy Valentine's Day. I feel like this day gets more pink and red each year. That's okay though, it's for us ladies anyway.) To those of you who are single, continue reading to the bottom for a message.

In my photographer life, I've captured a good amount of couples. Those madly in love, those newly engaged, those expecting, etc. But the couples who intrigue me the most are the ones building conglomerations together and seem to be...perfect. You know the types of people I'm talking about; the man who has the strongest presence in a room even if he's being silent and the woman who seems intimidating to approach even if she's being personable. They are not just the beautiful people, they are individually interesting, confident, charismatic, and powerful in their own right. Entertainment Society has termed these people who come together as "Power Couples".

Their definition is not referring to two people working and coming home to the usual "How was your day, honey?" types of conversations. It's referring to couples who are in the public eye, whether locally in their communities or nationally on a wider plain who inspire, encourage, and support one another in their personal and professional journeys. The couples who show up for each other. The couples who show their pride in their partners. The couples who push each other to achieve full potential. The couples who have loaded agendas....this sounds like any healthy couple, right? The Power Couples are usually people who have a strong sense of business fundamentals and have a vision to keep moving up the ladder whether it's in a corporation or within their own endeavors. They have a cohesive vision to plan, invest, and excel...together.

Outside from being a Power Couple, legitimate relationships aren't hidden from people. Private, Yes. Hidden, No. A couple may not share the details of their union, but they shouldn't shy away from letting people know they are together. If you are seriously involved with someone and being treated like a stranger or less than a partner when you two are around others, then you're not in a relationship, you're in what the younger generation calls, a "situationship" and that's a completely different dynamic.

I am a firm believer that a good friendship is the foundation to a great romance. You wouldn't hide your friendship, would you? If a friendship is one sided, unbalanced, and conditional, then don't expect it to be anything better if it becomes something more. For any relationship to thrive there needs to be a healthy level of love, respect, and admiration for each other. And the best way to do this is to SHOW it in your actions. We prove by doing, not by saying.

The forehead kiss is one of the most loving forms of affection for any type of relationship. (I've discussed this in extreme detail on my personal site a few years ago.) My young son has even started doing this sweet gesture with me. I may be exaggerating, but the forehead (or top of the head) kiss is a sign of admiration, love, and protection. To be clear, I'm not in any form of romantic affair and not entertaining the idea of anything close to one, (Yes World, there are women who keep themselves to themselves for reasons that are unique to them, respect it), so anytime I receive a forehead kiss it's from good friends, and it makes me feel that these people appreciate having me in their lives and if something is ever wrong with me, they would want to know or try to help me through it in some way. Sweet, right?

Here's a little something personal about yours truly: I'm not always vocal about where I am until after I've been there. More often than not, I take last minute trips for myself, by myself. Some people have jokingly referred me to "Carmen Sandiego" as a result of my disappearing acts, but I always maintain contact in some shape or form. Not too long ago there was a matter where I was almost completely inaccessible...(*sometimes when you are great at doing something, it causes others to feel threatened because they weren't given the opportunities you were. Hard work doesn't go unrecognized...or unpunished.) Only a handful of people were made aware of my location and was able to reach me through other channels. Many of my friends who could not reach me became concerned and two of them moved around their busy schedules to seek me out. They knew exactly how and where to find me, which was impressive since I wasn't in any of my common places. I don't think I've ever been hugged so tightly before and given so many forehead kisses. They stayed a few days and reminded me each day how important it is to always have a way to stay touch with ALL of my loved ones no matter what was going on.

I say all this to point out that loving someone begins before being in love. Being present for someone and supporting them is another way to show someone you love them. Even though the two friends who showed up for me were platonic friends, I want elements of their affections for me to paralleled with how my partner should care for me. And unfortunately, people can fall out of love, but at least you know what you liked when you were loved. To be this so-called Power Couple, or any type of couple, loving your partner is just as important (if not more important) as being in love with your partner; you two should at least like each other, right?...because if both of you are very busy, confident, driven, and ambitious, losing sight of each other can have an adverse effect on many of your goals. And depending on how you communicate, there may be times of a power struggle. Practice listening and compromising. Ultimatums are not always the best solution. You wouldn't go into a business meeting with equal partners and have only one thought process or strategy, would you? If not, then give your relationship the same attention. You can be powerful alone or you can be powerful together.

In a related post, I discuss dating age gaps. Interestingly enough, the age of you and your partner coupled with your phases in life can have an impact on how your relationship succeeds or suffers. Read more HERE. I also discuss the concerns of dating in the workplace HERE.

*For the Singles: Own being single. You are not alone, you are with yourself, change the narrative of how you acknowledge being single. Be confident and comfortable with your time and space. I've notice in the last year that my standards have only been going up and there is nothing wrong with that and I don't care what critics may say, I'm not settling for anyone who doesn't match my energy and I don't care who makes more money, as long as we keep making efforts for each other. I've been building upon business in other cities/states (image shown). I am extremely focused on how I want my life to be. Even with my personal assistant "S" moving to another country to begin her career, with her help, I have been able to better organize my time and delegate my tasks, yet I'm still very busy. I'm in a "No One Is Allowed To Touch Me" phase and I take pride in being there. I know I'm too amazing of a person to not at least get 80% from someone (80/20 Rule theory) or even 70/30. In a previous post, I talk about investing in people and deciphering between good and bad investments, here's a tip: investing in someone else's marriage is a not great investment see HERE, there's about 5% of happy endings in those scenarios.To invest in others is to also invest in yourself. Take yourself out and vibe with new people. Many strangers who I've met have either became associates, friends, or just good conversations I remembered from those interactions. Sometimes we put too much expectation on making an encounter more than what it really is or needs to be. Let it flow.

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Speaking of being supportive and showing it, on Super Tuesday, the Nation saw how Jill Biden is 100% for her husband. *This is NOT a political message nor does it represent my political views.*

Jill Biden blocked protesters who interrupted her husband's speech to supporters.

Why I frickin LOVE this image:

1. Jill didn't step aside, she stepped up! She was not having it and from the look on her face she probably would have went further if others didn't come in to remove the woman from the stage. (There were 2 protesters).

2. I smirk at Joe's almost nonchalant demeanor because he probably knows his wife is not one to mess with.

3. Jill's face said, "Not today, little girl. This is MY HUSBAND'S time."

4. Jill's face also said, "Catch me outside."

Your loved ones, whether it's your partner, your family members, or your friends should be just as supportive and protective of you as Jill is with her husband. We all need a Jill in our lives. Be like Jill.

She's a Jersey Girl raised in Willow Grove, PA. 😊

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Business Woman to Business Wife

Would you change your career for your partner? Or stop working completely? This was a recent topic of discussion among my friends and I; single, married, and engaged.

My simple answer is, Yes.

Yes, I would consider changing the direction of my career, but if I end my career for him, I am not going to stop working. I am either going to take on business projects with him or I am going to find a hobby that brings me income.

Some of you who know me may be thinking this goes against everything I stand for: Independence, Working Women, Women in Business, etc. No, no, no…I am still very much advocate for those things, but when you are in a partnership, a commitment with someone, you lay out all your thoughts and plans in which the two of you want to follow through with. If believe in my partner and he can afford to carry both of us, plus our family, and there are factors in our relationship that I can cater to better, then yes, I will change my direction, but he will also need to understand that I will still remain lucrative. If I am choosing to give up a my salary, the salary that has allowed me to cover my financial responsibilities and grants me to do all the things I enjoy doing, there is going to be a reasonable compromise, whatever that may look like for us.

Many single women have learned to maintain themselves without Prince Charming (by the way, most of us prefer the Prince who thinks he’s a Frog over the Frog who thinks he’s a Prince. Let that sink in for a bit), so it may be hard for some of us to make adjustments. We have conditioned ourselves to obtain the necessities without the man, so Why would I want to share my closet space? Don’t lose hope fellas, be patient with us, for not all of us are lost into the black hole of estrogen dominance…Just build her a bigger closet.

In another posting, I mentioned the different standards with men and women and the stigma that surrounds their responsibilities. The men provide, the women comfort. And really, women are a bit tougher, yeah we may be more emotional and most times we aren't making much sense, but of the two sexes, we were granted to ability to bare children and withstand the many levels of struggles and triumphs life can throw at us which includes, knowing when and how to coddle a man who wants to be comforted more than he is willing to admit.

In a 2013 survey, 43% of women quit their jobs after marriage because they now have a new role, new responsibilities. I do not fault women who chose to do this. I know plenty of couples who have been successful with separating roles. For some duos, it is beneficial for the marriage for the wife to be home, the kids do not have to be in daycare and are better attended to, the wife manages the home and activity schedules, possibly helps organize the finances, etc. You take on those stairs, I’ll take on these, and we’ll meet at the top. And there there are relationships where the roles are conjoined, We both look over the finances, we both tackle the issues, we both maintain our home, we both work on projects together, etc.

There are plenty of things wives can do to 1. Support their Husbands, 2. Stay Lucrative, and 3. Maintain Knowledge of Business Practices. Here is a take from a divorcee who says, "Married Ladies: Don't Quit Your Day Job." Although, how you chose to keep stability in your married life is a personal and private discussion with your spouse. What may work for you may not work for others.

Working women have acquired several useful business skills in their careers that can be helpful to her husband, her marriage, her family, because with most of us, the definition of a wife is not someone who only cooks, cleans, and raises the children; the definition is being a Partner which means that we discuss big decisions that may change the dynamics of our lives and we come to an agreement that we are both comfortable with.

The same concepts in business will still apply with our relationship: Why? Because it is a Partnership.

• We do not discuss problems outside of our partnership unless it is an unbiased source (There may be some exceptions depending the seriousness of the issue and who we are sharing our personal business with.)

• We do not speak ill of one another to other people (I once read something that said, “The weakest thing a man can do is talk badly about his woman to others.” And of course it works the same way with women.)

• We take the time to talk to one another about changes in plans or goals (If we have to “call a meeting” with each other, then so be it. We both need to understand each other to be a benefit to one other.)

• We do not make final or permanent decisions without the other

• If we are continuously at odds and cannot seem to meet in the middle, then we need to consider dissolving the relationship without any added stress

When you allow someone into your life, change will happen; work together towards the best. You don't let something go that you already know is great to see about a different possibility. You make what's great even greater. (Read that again, some of you missed it.)

For those of you ladies who are married or soon to be married and there are talks of you leaving your employer, here are some tips and advice to consider:

• Give your boss at least 2-4 weeks notice depending on the depth of your position and how long it may take to train a replacement.

• Be honest about why you are leaving. You want to focus on your marriage and family. Maybe your spouse has a more lucrative offer in another city or state. (A friend of mine is soon to be married and her fiance has an offer to an elevated position in another city a few hours away, I told her, "Honey, you better put in your notice and let your husband be great so you can be great together!")

• See if there is a possibility of you to work part time or as a consultant, especially is your role requires a lot of skill that may take more than 4 weeks to train someone new. Plus, you never know, consulting may be something you can take on to stay in the business loop.

Here is a article that has a sample: How To Resign From Your Job Due to Marriage

Sidebar: For me to make compromises he will need to be spectacular and do the unexpected. For instance, if you tell me you are stopping at the store and want to know if I want anything and I say No, get me a candy bar. Twix. Spectacular does not have to be extravagant. Although, surprising me with a weekend getaway would be nice too. Balance.

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Raya Laephuang

Writer | Photographer | Intrigued with Human Behavior

“I read the world around me.”

The Busy Woman

Him: Can I take you out to dinner?

Her: No, I don’t have time.

Sound familiar ladies?

Over the years a certain breed of women have stopped waiting around to be “saved” and decided to save themselves. What does this mean exactly?

It means we have prioritized our lives to put our needs first. Although, please understand that the needs of each woman differ from one to the next. Some of us want to be head of major corporations, some of us what to invest in start-ups, some of us want to travel the world and help others. A post on PsychCentral details 6 Reasons Women are Too Busy. The post was published in 2014 but, it still holds relevance and lets just go ahead and pile on the reasons for those of us wanting to make waves in business.

I’m not sure how it happened but, something just clicked in our brains that the Cinderella stories are far and few in between. This does not translate to all busy women being single women. No, a married woman can still have just as much drive especially if her husband encourages her business spirit. There are not too many men who understand the scope and reasons why a woman wants to be proactive with making her own lane in life, even if her lane is beside his. Some men just prefer woman to stay in the shadows, but there are women who want to be more than just a man’s wife. So ladies, if you have a partner who supports your ambitions without him creating an overcast on you with his own goals, hold on to him, that’s a rare specimen. Yeah, he may want to protect you, but he should also hear you out.

It’s funny, at times when I am at networking events or if I stop somewhere after work to decompress before heading home, I get approached by men who seem to have a preconceived notion of what type of woman I am.

• The Kept Woman (A rich man’s wife)

• The Gold Digger (Looking for a rich man)

• The Spoiled Naive Daddy’s Girl (The temperamental woman who must have her way)

I humor their ignorance on occasion, but for the most part, if I tell you about myself the first time and you do not get it, I’m not likely to have the tolerance to explain myself several times, nor should I, especially when I did not come out to meet a suitor anyway. How you perceive a woman will not necessarily change because she tells you differently; you are either open to understanding her or you are not.

However, I will admit I do appreciate it when men want to be of assistance like when a passersby offers to load my groceries into the car, hold his umbrella up for me even if it means he gets rained on, gives up his chair for me, sees me putting air into my tires and comes to take over the task, help me reach a high item, or lend a hand to carry my bags (luggage, backpack, laptop bag) into the building. I guess that is part of the “Damsel in Distress” ideal and a man wanting to be the hero, can’t complain, but gestures like this are quick and usually without expectation of anything more than just being a decent human.

Busy women juggle many thoughts that lead to an infinite number of tasks. Our brains can be a souffle of madness at any point of the day. Let me give you a quick rundown of what occurs in our silence or stillness:

• Careers: Where am I, Where do I want to be, How do I get there, What do I need to reach that level, Am I highlighting my skills, Am I keeping myself valuable to the company, Am I meeting expectations

  • Entrepreneurs/Small Business Owners: What is my vision, What is my business structure, How much do I want this to grow, Do people clearly understand what I do, What marketing tools do I need, What team do I have, Is my licensing in order, Am I putting aside enough for taxes, Who is my accountant, Do I know the legal perimeters, Do I have the correct insurance

• Education: What do I still need to learn, How much is needed, What is the cost, How long will it take, What needs to be adjust to complete this, What do I plan to do with this, When is that paper due, What day is that exam

• Kids (if applicable): What are the children’s schedule, Where do they need to be on what days, When are their check-ups, Are they eating enough, Who are their friends, What activities are they involved in, What are they understanding or not understanding, What types of choices are they making

• Husband/Spouse (if applicable): What is his schedule, When are we able to have time to ourselves, Is he overwhelmed, What kinds of decisions is he making for the relationship or family, Does he feel supported, Am I communicating well enough

• Meaningful Friendships: Am I reaching out often, Am I being empathetic, Am I being supportive, Am I listening

• Finances: What has to be paid, When is payment due, How much is due, What’s in the budget, What needs to be recalculated, What amount needs to be set aside, What are the stocks doing, What does the retirement fund look like, What is the savings plan

• Health: Am I eating enough, Am I eating the right foods, When is my next check-up, How much am I exercising, How often do I need to exercise, Where do I go, When can I go

For single women - With all this above, what time do we have to entertain men who want us to appeal to their lives and not consider what we have already created. For critics who say, “You find time for what you want.” Okay, that’s fair but, I am going to get my to-do list done first because he’s not going to be the only one who brings something to the table.

For non-single women - If you are doing all this alone, get yourself a new partner. I prefer a busy man, but if I’m married to one, I expect his level of busy to match mine and we will share some of these responsibilities If I mention to you that my car is making a weird noise, you know where the key is, take the car to the shop and get it checked out, and it would be nice if you get it washed on the way home.

By no means am I discrediting a man who may be just as busy; I was raised by a single father of three with me being the eldest. I know some of you men can have a lot on your plate too, but remember the expectations of what a woman should do and what a man must do is contrasting. We are held to separate standards and we are not placed on leveling pedestals. This may be a bias statement but, women hold the burden of taking care of those around her on top of what she still needs to do for herself.

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If you feel you do not have the patience for a busy woman, she probably did not send for you anyway, so step aside, you are blocking her path.

The Boys Club

Business is still very much a male dominated entity.  This article goes further into similar thoughts mentioned in a previous article, Business Gender. Even though the workforce is almost half female.  In 2017, statistics reveal that 47% of women make up the workforce in the United States, and only 39.8% are in management roles.  With some companies, the higher the ladder, the fewer the women, which may be why in the past 20 years, there has been an 114% increase of women entrepreneurs.  More than 11.4 million businesses in the US are women owned creating at least 9 million jobs across the nation.

But, why do some women go the route of opening their own business?

Several reasons:

• They feel undervalued

• They are overlooked for promotions

• They are being overworked and underpaid

• They want to be more involved with business operational functions (other than being a receptionist, a data clerk, or an administrative assistant)

• They want to be part of major decisions

• They are tired of their concerns being “swept” under the rug

Although, let’s dig in about why women may feel this way.

Men have developed a camaraderie with other men, a “Boys Club” so to speak.  This is nothing new, even the first President of the Unites States was a Mason.  Men were always granted a level of power just for having a…well, you know the emoji I’m referring to, while a woman was to feed him and prepare his clothes.  Women are held to a degree of being catering but, not held to a degree of being business savvy.   It was the idea that women were not intelligent enough to think outside of the home, so why would a man place her in a position of responsibility that involved making major decisions of a company’s growth and wealth?  And dare not let a woman earn more than him, egos would be damaged and we must protect the ego of a man. (Refer to Dorothy’s mood).

It is no surprise men feel more comfort around their own, women do as well, it is nature; birds of a feather flock together. (Although, some men think women’s groups are cute and a way for women to be entertained with shoes and mimosas during brunch...Sir, sit all the way down.)  We are all aware of organizations and memberships just for men….Fraternities, yet not all groups classify themselves as such.  There is an automatic subconscious bond that reassures men to other men, “I’ll look out for you.” Remember The Little Rascals movie?  The “He Man Woman Haters Club” is what the boys called it.  They held meetings and discussed pranks they played on girls. The leader, Spanky, felt girls were a nuisance and did not want any of his members to be involved with one.  Let’s translate this….

Is there an unspoken thought that women are the downfall of a man’s progress? Maybe the wrong woman, but that’s just my 2 cents. YES, some of you men make some horrible decisions, aht, women do too, I'm not waging a war here. Do men feel that women are a hindrance? Are women a distraction in business? Do women decrease productivity? Do women negatively effect the goals of a business?

That all depends on how you utilize a woman and how you involve her.

Considering the growth of the #MeToo Movement, I can empathize why men now want to exclude women from their business circles especially men who mean no harm and want no trouble. Let's be honest, much of you successful men have a lot to lose if you are accused of mistreatment and I don't deny that woman can be vicious, some of us are disgracefully vindictive. I apologize and I have no excuse for this.   But, let’s also be clear, some of you men are pigs, and the #MeToo Movement is necessary to highlight and stop true abuse.  Yes unfortunately, there are still men who deem women as leisure objects; pretty things to look at and do away with when done. Granted, there are women who do not know their own value and allow this type of man to treat them in a disgraceful manner.  Although, let us not dismiss a limited breed of men who place women on a high pedestal where we are treated as precious treasures to be respected and protected. We appreciate these men for continuing to be delicate to our psyches and understanding that woman are far more than arm pieces but, Chivalry is topic for a non business related discussion and there are many layers to why these noble men behave the way they do.

In a different perspective, there is the concern some men may have when working with women.  When men and women work closely together a slight personal relationship can develop, sharing weekend stories, comparing parenting notes, exchanging relationship advice, etc.  It is possible for a man to think to himself, “Am I too getting too close?” “What if she takes offense to something I meant innocently?” “What if she is misinterpreting our work relationship?”   With these types of concern, Men and Women have to create boundaries within the workplace, especially the married. You don’t want your husband or wife to pop up at your office and drag your co-worker or employee out to the parking. Although, I am a firm believer of “a woman knows who she marries”..but that’s another topic for a non-business related discussion. You can act on your animal instincts if you want to but, getting too personal can become problematic in the workplace…or anywhere else for that matter.

Yes, I can understand why Men support each other, especially in business, we Women support our own as well, hence the #MeToo Movement and mass amounts of women owned businesses.  BUT, are there some cases where men support other men simply because they are men?  And not because of performance, trustworthiness, confidence, and achievement of expectations?  You may not agree to this thought but, I am going to spell it out anyway....

There. IS. a. double. standard. in. business.

If a woman is firm with her orders and directs a man to complete a project, she is considered cold, harsh and well, let's just say it, a bitch. Yet, if the orders were coming form a man with the same temperament, the reaction would play out differently. If the goal is to get the work done, why hesitate and become sensitive when a woman gives the directive as opposed to when a man giving it? Let me tell you why...it all goes back to our natural views, the views that are embedded into us as children and throughout our growth in society...and that is, men and women travel in separate lanes. The speed limits are different, the road signs are different, our detours are different. I hope you are following this analogy, if not, I'll make it more simple. Men and women are not equal in the sense that we are both engineered differently. Whether you are religious or just have a traditional way of thinking, women are the soft and pink beings while men are the strong and dominate ones, so to have a woman be in a position of authority subconsciously alerts us to react differently. Be mindful on how you react though, you can behave in an insubordinate manner and think, How dare She tell me what to do. Or you can understand that a task needs to be done and the expectation is set for everyone to adhere to. Another disturbing reality is that there are also women who do not want to work with other women or see them in elevated positions. Yup, sad.

If you think I'm speaking of things I know nothing about, consider this experiment I did. I applied to several different employers using 2 different resumes. The ONLY difference between the resumes were the names. The first resume was my initial name, "Raya Laephuang" while the second resume read, "Ray Laephuang". All other information on the resume was the exact same. I'll let you take a guess at which resumes received the most call backs.

This is business and by all means, keep your Boys Club, just don't act like women are incompetent and can't help you attain goals.