Appearing Acts

Ever have someone just pop up in your life unexpectedly. Someone new or maybe someone you've already met before who you haven’t seen or spoken to in a long time? But either way, they just appear and make you rethink so many things. - Things you never considered before, things you've avoided, or things that no one else has made you think about. Who was it, where is this person now, and what's his name? 😆🤣

I'm referring to the person as a man because it's usually someone of the male persona that gets us women outside of ourselves. Sometimes for good change and sometimes…well, just for change. Get it?

If you recall a recent post ‘Men Are Demons’ then you were introduced to my distain of when men just pop up and halt your whole world and then when you make adjustments for them, they turn around and act like they never asked you to do any of it. — No Sir, you did not ask me, but as a person who wanted to make you feel comfortable in my life and around me, I made changes to accommodate you. Here’s the thing, anytime there is someone in your life who you spend any time with, you are actively making changes because you are making space for them in your life, whether it is a temporary space or long term space, there are still actions you take to welcome them. And they should be doing the same for you especially if you both want to continue to be significant in each other’s lives. *There are people who need many special names in their phone; I only need 1 that keeps me company from time to time. For instance a man inviting a different woman out rather than inviting the same woman. What would be more foolish of the man is when the women know each other. At that point you’re dealing with someone that doesn’t have direction or still wants to live in his youth and hides behind the thought of “just being nice”.

Men Are Stupid

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Men Are Stupid -

Women don’t have a problem submitting. You’re just not the one she wants to submit to.

I don’t always like surprises, but I like to be surprised, does that make sense? For instance when someone exceeds my expectations or does something I did not think that were capable of doing, or goes against what he would normally do just to see me smile. Like when I am having a bad day and there’s flowers at my door when I get home with a sweet note, or better yet, he’s shows up with dinner in hand. Or if I am out at happy hour and I feel a random hug embrace me or when he reaches out for my hand to help me out of a car, in a car, out of a chair, walking into a room…whatever. To be honest, lately my expectations for men are very low. I’ve seen so many versions of them that it’s hard to believe who they really are. They may behave one way with you, but then you see them shift with other people. And when you ask about it, they feel you are being invasive. — I’ve been told that when a man is fully for you, he won’t have you questioning your place in his mind or heart.

I think in all my years of witnessing men in different scenarios, there is no making sense in what they do or say, they just…exist. And sometimes they think they are doing something admirable, but in reality, it’s inconsiderate. You just have to figure out how their existence benefits your life when they casually stroll in to it. A man is an option, not a definition for a woman and once you realize that, you also realize your worth. There is always a lesson in everything, people can change you, You decide how that change develops.


Sure, Tell Me More

Have you ever had a man tell you what you should and should do or how you should and should be, but then you realize he's not contributing to your happiness, comfort, growth, well being, or peace of mind? — Sir, what are you trying to do here? Why haven't men gotten the memo that when he’s making her happy, she's willing to listen a lot more than when she’s not. So if you don’t know how to treat or finesse a woman, just admit that and go.

You cannot control a woman who isn't happy. Period.

Women are simple in theory, but once you get our emotions involved, it can get messy. Want to make her happy? Hear what she is saying, but pay attention to what she is not saying. Mind her body language and eye contact. And when you speak, see what she is reacting to.

I cannot not speak for all women, but I hate feeling like there an imbalance of effort and empathy. Sometimes women tend to care too much, it is sort of what makes us very different from men…aside from other obvious things. But the other problem is, men tend to care too late. — Hence, the miscommunication between the sexes.

It’s not only women not knowing how to speak to men, it is also men not knowing how to speak to women. We cannot speak to everyone the same. We were all brought up differently, different areas, different home lives, different set of rules, different experiences. Now, I am not saying we need to do a thorough background investigation on everyone in our lives, but we should actively listen to people and take into consideration that they will not always understand things from our point of view. Yes, it can be frustrating…extremely frustrating. But, effective communication isn’t one sided. And to be infuriated with someone has the same level of passion as being tangled in love with them or staying so far away from them because laying eyes on them brings about an array of mixed feelings.

A good friend said this to me:

When someone doesn't know how to speak to you, but they care, they will still find a way to keep track of you and be happy and proud of you from afar until they can be around you again.

I am not sure how I feel about that. Part of me finds it flattering to have someone stay in the shadows and still watch for me and another part of me thinks I rather want to know when someone cares. Words of Affirmation is my top love language along with physical touch. — Let me know you've noticed. Make an effort to engage with me, that's my happy chemical.

I feel like good communication is a lost art 😕. Kind of like chivalrous behavior with men. I still notice when men either don’t or do stand up when a woman enters the room. Or when a man walks on the side of a woman that’s closer to the street. Maybe some of us are too “old school” for this new generation that likes fast things, instant gratification, easy people, and empty relationships. I refuse to fit in with the crowd just to be fun. — I like meaningful conversations. Tell me more.