Body Image

I received an email telling me I should be ashamed for the types of pictures I’m sharing and how I cannot be a good woman if I am constantly sexualizing myself. I should note that the email seemly came from a MAN 🤨. Here are my thoughts…

THIS IS MY BODY….I repeat, MY BODY. I’m not sharing it with anyone but me. I’ve always shown my legs and I will keep doing so. As far as other parts you may see…. I went through a life changing experience last year and I’m embracing the new changes with my body and I’m very unapologetic about how I’m going about with being feminine. Yes, you will see legs, thighs, underboob, sideboob, and cleavage. And guess what? If you don't want to see any of that, you can choose not to come here. 💁🏽‍♀️

I will never understand why people feel the need to criticize a woman's body, telling her what she needs to do with her body, or judging her for how she shows her body.

Granted there are some women who are very risqué with their outfit choices, the reasons for their outfits, and what they do in said outfits. So some of your critiques aren't all wrong, but tread lightly either way.

A woman presents herself how she feels fit, necessary, or comfortable. I may not always feel great or at my best and at times I have issues with my weight, but I love the curvatures of my body. I cover what I feel should be covered and I show what I feel confident with showing. I’m not hanging on men or parading myself like a trollop. If anything, I’m a tease because I won’t let anyone touch me and whoever is blessed enough to have me more than a friend will never have to worry about me giving more attention to another man and should take pride that I chose him and only him. And if he’s really for me, he won’t have any issues standing by me and shutting down anyone who has anything against me. Even if he doesn’t agree with me, protect me in public and disagree with me in private.

Dear Writer of the Email,

Thank you for your “concern” about how I am presenting myself. You must be very sure of yourself to go out of your way to tell me how I’m such a sinful woman because of how I embrace my physique. Like most common men out here, I’m most likely not your type which is: young, dumb, and easily controlled, but you probably downplay it and tell people you like “free spirited” women. Well lucky for you, you'll never have to be around the likes of me. And an added benefit, I’ll never be interested or succumb to a man who feels like he can't be a real man if he allows a woman to think for herself. Big victory on your part, right? So I'm going to keep wearing my clothes how I want to, thank you kindly. 😊 💁🏽‍♀️💅🏾

Sincerely,

I'm showing body whether you like it or not ❤

Message to my bestfriend. (*I have 2)

Message to my other best friend who always hypes me up.

The Men We Choose

Friendly reminder that this site is for entertainment purposes only. It’s to invoke intrinsic thought and hopefully encourage people to look at different perspectives.

This post has been in my draft folder since last year (I have a few I still have yet to go through), I cannot remember why I started writing it or what I was going through at the time, but the topic has become relevant again….

Set from JLuxLabel (P.S.. - This is what I mean when I say I’m about to make everyone uncomfortable...him, her, every body.)

Okay ladies, let’s lay it all out. Some of our men problems are because of the types of men we choose or are attracted to. A man is going to act and behave in a way that benefits him, even if it hurts or affects other people. Any of you remember the Donnell Jones song, Where I Want To Be? It’s about a man exploring other potential before deciding/realizing the woman for him was the woman who has always been there from him even when he wasn’t available. Love is a battle field to say the least. There were definitely casualties of war while I was with my children’s father and when I was with the athlete…it was ugly. But looking back, I wanted them for different reasons, silly reasons, superficial reasons, unrealistic reasons. I guess at some point we have to be cognizant of how we are choosing our partners. Yes, the men chase us, but we chose if it is them or not and sometimes it’s…not.

No one is perfect and we make mistakes. Mistakes are the stepping stones in life; What? You think you walk on water and have never done anything wrong to anyone? I have no problem defending someone’s mistakes if I feel they genuinely want to be a better person. Hell, I defended my ex’s mistakes for years until I finally woke up and realized he wasn’t changing…sometimes being the ride or die type of woman will damage you mentally before it effects you physically. There is nothing wrong with standing by a man, just make sure he’s standing by you too.

I guess I believe in more than just second chances. My problem may be that I am too flexible with men. I’m not sure why. — Maybe it is because I was raised by my father (only) and witnessed how much pressure men take on. Internally, men are not any stronger than us, but they are expected to be…maybe that’s why I give them a little more time and grace. So is it that we choose the wrong men or is it that we are more agreeable and understanding than they are? Or are there such things as “the wrong man”?

I guess if we take away the romantic aspect, we are left with who the man is entirely. Just like if a man were to not look at us with any sexual interest, who are we as a woman? In our raw core, are we good people? Are we good to people OR are we good to those who are only good to us? Are we quid pro quo or are we only like that to those we sleep or slept with? So maybe the topic should be not just the men we choose, but also the women that men choose. Why do men choose us? We are emotional, jealous, irrational, overbearing, talk too much, overthink nonstop and…..yeah, I’ll say it…crazy. — Hey fellas, WE can call each other crazy, but you can’t call us crazy, got it🤨? Which leads me to decide that I don’t honestly feel I can ask a man to agree to a special arrangement (see last post for reference: Self-Care, Peace and The V Care). I’m sorry, I cannot bring myself to do it. It’s like being a place card for each other but neither of us are each other’s plus-ones. I may just need to think more on it.

My friend told me if I blink the wrong way this top will show everything. Lol. This is one of those outfits you wear for girls’ night or for someone special.

If I am going to hang out with a guy friend, that’s it, we’ll just be hanging out. I can’t be casual with my intimacy, — I’m either all about you (us) or I’m only about me. If I’m the one making more compromises, that’s not right, don’t have me folding when you don’t even have a good hand (poker reference). I’m a catering person, I like making sure the people around me are taken care of, so if I am sleeping with someone, I not only want to cater to him but I also want assurance that the sentiments are mutual…I don’t want to see you hugging on someone if I was just wrapped around you the other night, because then how am I to know if you’re getting involved with someone else if your eating up the attention right in front of me? — I don’t entertain involved men. There are still such things as STDs😒.

Nah, I’m not choosing any man right now. If he’s confident and strong enough, he’ll need to chose me and present me with something I’m willing to accept, otherwise I can only offer funny conversations and very…. 👀 intriguing outfits😁. I dare a man to approach me with a special arrangement and don’t come with me with any bs. I guess it may have something to do with my inner need for someone to lead and take control. I make so many decisions throughout the day that it would be great for a man to lay out what we are going to do and not make me feel like I’m requiring too much or make me feel insignificant to his life. And with all my current guy friends, I don’t want to change anything with them, they are great the way things are. So I’m not choosing any damn man, he’s going to have to chose me and we are going to go through ALL of each other’s growing pains together. 🥴