The Grown Attitude

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child…”

Method Man did a recent interview stating he doesn't know why he keeps being labeled as a sex symbol when his not doing anything to earn that title. And I see his point of view on this. Clifford is what, in his early 50s now? And I think his is at a point in his life where he's done all the he planned to do, and now he's just enjoying the legacy he's made. Mind you, this man is married and has been married for over 2 decades. I think early in his life and career, he had a lot of fun. And there were always rumors here and there about some of the women he may have been in a situation with, but they were all rumors. During the this interview he used Smokey Robinson as an example of living in his highlight when it was appropriate, but when the clock starts winding down, trying to keep up with the highlight just doesn't make sense. I think that was such a mature thing to say and I think, however, Cliff living his right now, he is doing it on his own terms and no longer chasing Hollywood or entertainment high, and he's just enjoying life as Clifford with remenents of Method Man.

The most attractive thing about a man is growth and maturity. It doesn’t mean he still doesn't come with some bullshit. He just knows how to handle it better.

I think Jay-Z is the same way. We've heard rumors about him as well when he was starting to become known, and other rumors came about during his marriage. But one thing is for sure, he will do the most to protect the solitude of his family. Almost everything he does now seems to be business driven, even with the dynamics of his family and personal affairs. If there isn't a value or a means to an end, he's not interested.

Now Puff...ummm...Sean Combs ain't Shawn Carter, and definitely ain't Clifford Smith either. Mr. Combs is going to live how he wants to live, flashy, outspoken, opulent, all of the above. One of my childhood friends is like this and I need to be mindful of the time I spend around him because he can be a lot. Puff is going to have a rotation of young women, and he's living like he's in his 20s with his 50s fortune. Aye, go ahead, Puff, do what you want.

And I'm only using these 3 men as examples because we've seen where they started to where they are now.

David Beckham may be another good example, but we don't get a lot of news from across the water unless we're fishing for it. But I think he's shown a lot of maturity over the years, too.

Make The Good Choice

When that doesn't work out, make the other choice. 😁

Let me tell you something and I want all of you to start putting this in your daily mantra and it doesn't matter how old you are or where you're at in life, say this right here:

"I CAN NOT MISS OUT ON ANYTHING THAT ISN'T MEANT FOR ME"

This includes relationships, friendships, work opportunities, investments, fun nights, whatever it is, you do not miss anything that isn’t meant for you.

But if those same relationships, friendships, work opportunities, investments, and fun nights present themselves again, you can take it.

Just because you did not say Yes the first time doesn't mean you can't say Yes the next time. Maybe you said no the first time because it didn't feel right at the moment, but time changes things, right? And what we felt then may not be what we feel now. Just like with the men I mentioned, how they behaved then is probably not what they'll decide to do now, exclude Puff from this thought.

You know that saying, "When I was a child, I acted as a child" it's a derivative of the bible verse. It applies to all of us. Just like with the one reader who said, “A connection can be made with anyone, but it can only last but so long and go only so far without any real value or tangible substance. And if you only rely on that connection, you avoid your own reality, thus avoiding your own bullshit.” The reader also used an example of pedophiles relying on connections. Her example was extreme, but I think she was just trying to make her point.

So again,

"I CAN NOT MISS OUT ON ANYTHING THAT ISN'T MEANT FOR ME"

This can go so many different ways. There's things that are good for you and there's things that aren't, but you decide that. And here’s something else, the universe always knows what it's doing even when we don’t, and sometimes when certain things happen we call it coincidences or a sign. But the only thing we manage is what we feel and what we decide to do next.

Every decision is a great decision until it's not. And when it deems itself as not a great decision, then you have to figure out if you'll avoid making that decision again OR if you do make that same decision, what will you do differently next time? Because with growth we can walk down the same path, but this time we are more equipped with traveling it better.

Be safe everyone.


Change Of Heart

I decided to step out of my comfort zone and agreed to go on a date. It was setup by someone I do business with. The date was nice, it was an early dinner, nothing over the top or fancy, we were both wearing our professional attire because I met him after I got done working. He was wearing a tailored suit and I was wearing a pencil skirt and blouse. We had a nice conversation, we talked about life, families, childhood experiences. But there was one thing he said that made me decide this was only going to be a friendly dinner and nothing more. He mentioned his previous relationship and how he talked about her is what made me hesitant about the man he possibly is. You have to understand, when there is two people in a relationship, there is more than one side of a story and I don’t like when people are so adamant they didn’t have any faults when a relationship ends. And the man mentioned a few things that triggered memories of what I went through in previous situations. I declined a second date with the man.

We go through different experiences with people. Sometimes they are great, sometimes they aren’t and it leaves on imprint on us. When we are starting something new with someone. Our hearts are in a flutter, you’re spending time with them, getting to know them better, and talking about the possible future. But at any given moment, all that can change and there is no way to properly explain why other than a change of heart. And sometimes we try to hold on to the good memories to avoid the reality of needing to move on especially when we thought everything was going smoothly. And another weird thing is we can change our hearts back. Like have you ever rekindled something with an old flame…maybe more than once? — I’ve been there. And there is nothing wrong with that because you won’t know if something works until you try it and sometimes you have to try it more than once.

Emotions our fckd up and they fck us up sometimes. Men have loved me, told me they loved me, and have told me I’m the best thing in their lives, and when things were coming to an end, they have turned around and said bad things about me. Friendship and relationships can be complicated because sometimes it takes a little more work to maintain them. Again, you can have a change of heart about them. Sometimes we look at people and think nothing could ever happen, but later on you think there is a possibility. And there’s nothing wrong with reconnecting with people, just because it did not work out the first time, doesn’t mean you won’t have a better view of things this next time. As long as you are being honest with yourself and what you want and being transparent with the person, that’s all you can do. And there is not guarantee of anything; we never know what we are going to do until we are doing it and all we can do is hope that we are making the best decisions for ourselves.