Relationships: A Wise Investment?

“Love is just a word we attach to a feeling that we don’t really understand until we look back on it.”

Someone told me, the best thing you can do is make solid relationships that benefit both people. This includes friendships too. You invest in people and cultivate a type of understanding and communication with one another that gets your through certain things in life. I pour into a lot of my friendships because the friends I’ve made are free-flowing and I have friends who I talk to about serious topics and I have friends who I talk to about lighthearted topics, they all bring value into my life one way or another.

The Older I Get

The more I understand what works for me and that it may not work for others, but I can’t rely on others to make things work for me. ✨️

The types of relationships I'm not pouring into is a partnership. A colleague mentioned that partnering with someone can be a good personal and financial investment, but I feel like that all depends on your partner. Say if your partner is bad with money or doesn't have a good paying job, then you carry the bulk of the financial responsibility which can also affect your communication with the person. But if you have a stable person who can carry the same weight and articulate adult responsibilities, then yes, that’s a good partnership. 👍🏽

I was talking to one of my good friends a few days ago…he is a damn fool, I have so much fun when I talk to him, well, I have a lot of fun when I talk to any of my friends. I just have good people in my life. Anyway, with this friend, we've both been married before, we have children and don’t want anymore, we make good money, and we can do whatever it is we want to do, so I was telling him I don’t need or want a partner, but I like having companionship and I would like to be involved with someone who understands the difference.

We don’t always have be around each other. If he wants to go grab a drink after work and not invite me out, I'm fine with that. Or if he is going out with his friends and doesn't ask me to come, I'm okay with that too. I’m not going to ask invasive questions, I may just ask what you did the other night, but don't treat me like I’m the opposition or like a stranger, communicate with me. And also, if we so happen to run into each other somewhere and you're out with friends or whoever, don’t act as if you don’t know me, especially if we’re sleeping together. I'm grown, I don’t play those silly games. You don’t need to be all up on me, but don’t treat me like some random person that you just know.

I like hanging out one on one with someone, but I don't always require it. We can hang out with a bunch of people or we can just talk on the phone or text. And I don’t always want to talk of superficial things, I want articulate and intrinsic conversations where we learn significant details about our values and backgrounds. There’s other forms of intimacy other than sex. And I want a companion who understands all of this.

I rather invest into this kind of relationship rather than a partner who wants to combine every aspect of our lives. I don’t want to live with anyone, but I do want to see you and spend time with you when we can. I like going out and doing things and sometimes I like to have intimate company. Someone who is interested in me and talks to me in ways that my friends don’t speak to me, I’m sure you guys know the difference.

But for now, when I want company, I just call one of my friends, and don’t get me wrong, I love catching up with them, but vibe is different with someone you're intimate with and that's the main reason why I like companionship because the synergy is different. Again, I don’t need a partner, I just want to share energy with someone who likes to embrace me and the moments we have together. I think that would be the wise investment, at least for me, I can't speak for all of you.

Be safe everyone. 🙏🏽

The Grown Attitude

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child…”

Method Man did a recent interview stating he doesn't know why he keeps being labeled as a sex symbol when his not doing anything to earn that title. And I see his point of view on this. Clifford is what, in his early 50s now? And I think his is at a point in his life where he's done all the he planned to do, and now he's just enjoying the legacy he's made. Mind you, this man is married and has been married for over 2 decades. I think early in his life and career, he had a lot of fun. And there were always rumors here and there about some of the women he may have been in a situation with, but they were all rumors. During the this interview he used Smokey Robinson as an example of living in his highlight when it was appropriate, but when the clock starts winding down, trying to keep up with the highlight just doesn't make sense. I think that was such a mature thing to say and I think, however, Cliff living his right now, he is doing it on his own terms and no longer chasing Hollywood or entertainment high, and he's just enjoying life as Clifford with remenents of Method Man.

The most attractive thing about a man is growth and maturity. It doesn’t mean he still doesn't come with some bullshit. He just knows how to handle it better.

I think Jay-Z is the same way. We've heard rumors about him as well when he was starting to become known, and other rumors came about during his marriage. But one thing is for sure, he will do the most to protect the solitude of his family. Almost everything he does now seems to be business driven, even with the dynamics of his family and personal affairs. If there isn't a value or a means to an end, he's not interested.

Now Puff...ummm...Sean Combs ain't Shawn Carter, and definitely ain't Clifford Smith either. Mr. Combs is going to live how he wants to live, flashy, outspoken, opulent, all of the above. One of my childhood friends is like this and I need to be mindful of the time I spend around him because he can be a lot. Puff is going to have a rotation of young women, and he's living like he's in his 20s with his 50s fortune. Aye, go ahead, Puff, do what you want.

And I'm only using these 3 men as examples because we've seen where they started to where they are now.

David Beckham may be another good example, but we don't get a lot of news from across the water unless we're fishing for it. But I think he's shown a lot of maturity over the years, too.

Make The Good Choice

When that doesn't work out, make the other choice. 😁

Let me tell you something and I want all of you to start putting this in your daily mantra and it doesn't matter how old you are or where you're at in life, say this right here:

"I CAN NOT MISS OUT ON ANYTHING THAT ISN'T MEANT FOR ME"

This includes relationships, friendships, work opportunities, investments, fun nights, whatever it is, you do not miss anything that isn’t meant for you.

But if those same relationships, friendships, work opportunities, investments, and fun nights present themselves again, you can take it.

Just because you did not say Yes the first time doesn't mean you can't say Yes the next time. Maybe you said no the first time because it didn't feel right at the moment, but time changes things, right? And what we felt then may not be what we feel now. Just like with the men I mentioned, how they behaved then is probably not what they'll decide to do now, exclude Puff from this thought.

You know that saying, "When I was a child, I acted as a child" it's a derivative of the bible verse. It applies to all of us. Just like with the one reader who said, “A connection can be made with anyone, but it can only last but so long and go only so far without any real value or tangible substance. And if you only rely on that connection, you avoid your own reality, thus avoiding your own bullshit.” The reader also used an example of pedophiles relying on connections. Her example was extreme, but I think she was just trying to make her point.

So again,

"I CAN NOT MISS OUT ON ANYTHING THAT ISN'T MEANT FOR ME"

This can go so many different ways. There's things that are good for you and there's things that aren't, but you decide that. And here’s something else, the universe always knows what it's doing even when we don’t, and sometimes when certain things happen we call it coincidences or a sign. But the only thing we manage is what we feel and what we decide to do next.

Every decision is a great decision until it's not. And when it deems itself as not a great decision, then you have to figure out if you'll avoid making that decision again OR if you do make that same decision, what will you do differently next time? Because with growth we can walk down the same path, but this time we are more equipped with traveling it better.

Be safe everyone.