I'm Fresh, Not Fast

“Some of these people out here sound like they read at a 3rd grade level and can't think passed 8th grade. 🥴”

*The Lil Jon song I’m talking about is: THIS SONG (I’m sorry to anyone who has innocent ears).

I was having a conversation with someone the other day and we were talking about today’s music and I said that a lot of the hype music that is being put out today is “Hoe Music” and both men and women are putting it out. My playlist doesn’t have any type of that music. I listen to it when I am out, but when I am in my own space, No. And I do listen to newer artist, like Coco Jones. I LOVE that woman. I love the way she carries herself and her delivery. Like she’s not on social media bent over showing her goods to the world, like to me she doesn’t come off “Fast” like a lot of these everyday girls. I’m telling you and I’m sure many of you see it, these girls out here are showing almost everything they can, and for WHAT? But anyways, I don’t personally know Coco Jones, she may be a whole different way in private, but how she presents herself is very admirable, AND SHE’S ONLY 25. So if I am right about how she is and she keeps on the mode of classiness, I hope she reaches more success in her career. Now, if I see a video of her in the club having a twerk contest, I may rethink my thoughts about her. I’m all for people have their fun especially in their 20s, but showing it to the world is not something I advocate for.

But back to the “Hoe Music”. I don’t listen to it on my own time. One of my friends laughed at me when we were hanging out and a song came on, the beat was nice, so I was vibing to it, but then I listen to the lyrics, and I stop vibing and kind of made a face and my friend just could not stop laughing at me! The lyrics were very explicit and sexual. I’m not saying the music I grew up on was pure, I mean Nas came out with “Oochie Wally” and Lil’ Jon came out with “Ooh Na Na Naa Naa”, but songs like that were far and few in between, now it’s almost like every song that comes out is like this and it’s changing the way the younger generations think and act. Casamigos, hookah, and vape pens really got these kids in a choke hold!

I Know What I Can Offer…

But I'm not giving it to you that easily.

I’m not going to sit up here and say that I am a Saint, I am FRESH, I fully admit that, but I am not FAST. And many of you probably know what I mean when I say that, at least I hope so. I’m easy to talk to and you can pretty much talk to me about any topic, but if I am not sleeping with you or don’t want to sleep with you, then it’s just a conversation. I don’t get excited when random men compliment me or give me special attention. I’m not new to it, so many times I just go with the flow when men approach me, I laugh and I engage in the topics, but I have a limit to how far I’m going to go with someone. One of my friends told me that sometimes men think they are doing better then they actually are with a women because she seems to be having a good time and enjoying your company. And I can understand that, but my friend also said that a Gentleman notices if a woman isn’t receptive to him and doesn’t do or say anything to make her uncomfortable. And I like that, I think I have met a lot of men, but I’ve not come across a lot of GENTLEMAN. And a gentleman knows when a woman is not FAST, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t entertain the fast women every now and again, he just treats them differently. Only the men who lack emotional intelligence treat fast women as if they are classy women because they only pay attention to the external and not the woman's values. I said what I said. And women can go through phases of being fast and get past it, but until she get over the phase in her life, just know her actions and attitude isn't going to be where it needs to be for a healthy relationship.

When I go out, I'm not out to be FAST. In other words, I’m not out to meet anyone or to go home with someone or to take someone home with me. I’m not going out for attention or to boost my ego, my self-esteem, or validation. And I have days where I’ll go out and be out for hours, but then I’ll be in the house and not seen for weeks. So if you know me and see me out, you'll have to take advantage of that time because there's no telling when I’ll be in the streets again. 😁

Remember when I mentioned Method Man in the post titled, “The Grown Attitude”? Where he shares his sentiments of getting older and accepting your reality, not being tainted by it or wanting to avoid it, but welcoming your more mature life and what comes with it. Being FAST is not fitting to my life or even fitting to who I am. But I am single, unattached, and I guess I’m attractive to some people, so being FRESH is enough fun for me.

Be safe everyone. 🙏🏽

The Grown Attitude

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child…”

Method Man did a recent interview stating he doesn't know why he keeps being labeled as a sex symbol when his not doing anything to earn that title. And I see his point of view on this. Clifford is what, in his early 50s now? And I think his is at a point in his life where he's done all the he planned to do, and now he's just enjoying the legacy he's made. Mind you, this man is married and has been married for over 2 decades. I think early in his life and career, he had a lot of fun. And there were always rumors here and there about some of the women he may have been in a situation with, but they were all rumors. During the this interview he used Smokey Robinson as an example of living in his highlight when it was appropriate, but when the clock starts winding down, trying to keep up with the highlight just doesn't make sense. I think that was such a mature thing to say and I think, however, Cliff living his right now, he is doing it on his own terms and no longer chasing Hollywood or entertainment high, and he's just enjoying life as Clifford with remenents of Method Man.

The most attractive thing about a man is growth and maturity. It doesn’t mean he still doesn't come with some bullshit. He just knows how to handle it better.

I think Jay-Z is the same way. We've heard rumors about him as well when he was starting to become known, and other rumors came about during his marriage. But one thing is for sure, he will do the most to protect the solitude of his family. Almost everything he does now seems to be business driven, even with the dynamics of his family and personal affairs. If there isn't a value or a means to an end, he's not interested.

Now Puff...ummm...Sean Combs ain't Shawn Carter, and definitely ain't Clifford Smith either. Mr. Combs is going to live how he wants to live, flashy, outspoken, opulent, all of the above. One of my childhood friends is like this and I need to be mindful of the time I spend around him because he can be a lot. Puff is going to have a rotation of young women, and he's living like he's in his 20s with his 50s fortune. Aye, go ahead, Puff, do what you want.

And I'm only using these 3 men as examples because we've seen where they started to where they are now.

David Beckham may be another good example, but we don't get a lot of news from across the water unless we're fishing for it. But I think he's shown a lot of maturity over the years, too.

Make The Good Choice

When that doesn't work out, make the other choice. 😁

Let me tell you something and I want all of you to start putting this in your daily mantra and it doesn't matter how old you are or where you're at in life, say this right here:

"I CAN NOT MISS OUT ON ANYTHING THAT ISN'T MEANT FOR ME"

This includes relationships, friendships, work opportunities, investments, fun nights, whatever it is, you do not miss anything that isn’t meant for you.

But if those same relationships, friendships, work opportunities, investments, and fun nights present themselves again, you can take it.

Just because you did not say Yes the first time doesn't mean you can't say Yes the next time. Maybe you said no the first time because it didn't feel right at the moment, but time changes things, right? And what we felt then may not be what we feel now. Just like with the men I mentioned, how they behaved then is probably not what they'll decide to do now, exclude Puff from this thought.

You know that saying, "When I was a child, I acted as a child" it's a derivative of the bible verse. It applies to all of us. Just like with the one reader who said, “A connection can be made with anyone, but it can only last but so long and go only so far without any real value or tangible substance. And if you only rely on that connection, you avoid your own reality, thus avoiding your own bullshit.” The reader also used an example of pedophiles relying on connections. Her example was extreme, but I think she was just trying to make her point.

So again,

"I CAN NOT MISS OUT ON ANYTHING THAT ISN'T MEANT FOR ME"

This can go so many different ways. There's things that are good for you and there's things that aren't, but you decide that. And here’s something else, the universe always knows what it's doing even when we don’t, and sometimes when certain things happen we call it coincidences or a sign. But the only thing we manage is what we feel and what we decide to do next.

Every decision is a great decision until it's not. And when it deems itself as not a great decision, then you have to figure out if you'll avoid making that decision again OR if you do make that same decision, what will you do differently next time? Because with growth we can walk down the same path, but this time we are more equipped with traveling it better.

Be safe everyone.