I'm Fresh, Not Fast

“Some of these people out here sound like they read at a 3rd grade level and can't think passed 8th grade. 🥴”

*The Lil Jon song I’m talking about is: THIS SONG (I’m sorry to anyone who has innocent ears).

I was having a conversation with someone the other day and we were talking about today’s music and I said that a lot of the hype music that is being put out today is “Hoe Music” and both men and women are putting it out. My playlist doesn’t have any type of that music. I listen to it when I am out, but when I am in my own space, No. And I do listen to newer artist, like Coco Jones. I LOVE that woman. I love the way she carries herself and her delivery. Like she’s not on social media bent over showing her goods to the world, like to me she doesn’t come off “Fast” like a lot of these everyday girls. I’m telling you and I’m sure many of you see it, these girls out here are showing almost everything they can, and for WHAT? But anyways, I don’t personally know Coco Jones, she may be a whole different way in private, but how she presents herself is very admirable, AND SHE’S ONLY 25. So if I am right about how she is and she keeps on the mode of classiness, I hope she reaches more success in her career. Now, if I see a video of her in the club having a twerk contest, I may rethink my thoughts about her. I’m all for people have their fun especially in their 20s, but showing it to the world is not something I advocate for.

But back to the “Hoe Music”. I don’t listen to it on my own time. One of my friends laughed at me when we were hanging out and a song came on, the beat was nice, so I was vibing to it, but then I listen to the lyrics, and I stop vibing and kind of made a face and my friend just could not stop laughing at me! The lyrics were very explicit and sexual. I’m not saying the music I grew up on was pure, I mean Nas came out with “Oochie Wally” and Lil’ Jon came out with “Ooh Na Na Naa Naa”, but songs like that were far and few in between, now it’s almost like every song that comes out is like this and it’s changing the way the younger generations think and act. Casamigos, hookah, and vape pens really got these kids in a choke hold!

I Know What I Can Offer…

But I'm not giving it to you that easily.

I’m not going to sit up here and say that I am a Saint, I am FRESH, I fully admit that, but I am not FAST. And many of you probably know what I mean when I say that, at least I hope so. I’m easy to talk to and you can pretty much talk to me about any topic, but if I am not sleeping with you or don’t want to sleep with you, then it’s just a conversation. I don’t get excited when random men compliment me or give me special attention. I’m not new to it, so many times I just go with the flow when men approach me, I laugh and I engage in the topics, but I have a limit to how far I’m going to go with someone. One of my friends told me that sometimes men think they are doing better then they actually are with a women because she seems to be having a good time and enjoying your company. And I can understand that, but my friend also said that a Gentleman notices if a woman isn’t receptive to him and doesn’t do or say anything to make her uncomfortable. And I like that, I think I have met a lot of men, but I’ve not come across a lot of GENTLEMAN. And a gentleman knows when a woman is not FAST, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t entertain the fast women every now and again, he just treats them differently. Only the men who lack emotional intelligence treat fast women as if they are classy women because they only pay attention to the external and not the woman's values. I said what I said. And women can go through phases of being fast and get past it, but until she get over the phase in her life, just know her actions and attitude isn't going to be where it needs to be for a healthy relationship.

When I go out, I'm not out to be FAST. In other words, I’m not out to meet anyone or to go home with someone or to take someone home with me. I’m not going out for attention or to boost my ego, my self-esteem, or validation. And I have days where I’ll go out and be out for hours, but then I’ll be in the house and not seen for weeks. So if you know me and see me out, you'll have to take advantage of that time because there's no telling when I’ll be in the streets again. 😁

Remember when I mentioned Method Man in the post titled, “The Grown Attitude”? Where he shares his sentiments of getting older and accepting your reality, not being tainted by it or wanting to avoid it, but welcoming your more mature life and what comes with it. Being FAST is not fitting to my life or even fitting to who I am. But I am single, unattached, and I guess I’m attractive to some people, so being FRESH is enough fun for me.

Be safe everyone. 🙏🏽

The Grown Attitude

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child…”

Method Man did a recent interview stating he doesn't know why he keeps being labeled as a sex symbol when his not doing anything to earn that title. And I see his point of view on this. Clifford is what, in his early 50s now? And I think his is at a point in his life where he's done all the he planned to do, and now he's just enjoying the legacy he's made. Mind you, this man is married and has been married for over 2 decades. I think early in his life and career, he had a lot of fun. And there were always rumors here and there about some of the women he may have been in a situation with, but they were all rumors. During the this interview he used Smokey Robinson as an example of living in his highlight when it was appropriate, but when the clock starts winding down, trying to keep up with the highlight just doesn't make sense. I think that was such a mature thing to say and I think, however, Cliff living his right now, he is doing it on his own terms and no longer chasing Hollywood or entertainment high, and he's just enjoying life as Clifford with remenents of Method Man.

The most attractive thing about a man is growth and maturity. It doesn’t mean he still doesn't come with some bullshit. He just knows how to handle it better.

I think Jay-Z is the same way. We've heard rumors about him as well when he was starting to become known, and other rumors came about during his marriage. But one thing is for sure, he will do the most to protect the solitude of his family. Almost everything he does now seems to be business driven, even with the dynamics of his family and personal affairs. If there isn't a value or a means to an end, he's not interested.

Now Puff...ummm...Sean Combs ain't Shawn Carter, and definitely ain't Clifford Smith either. Mr. Combs is going to live how he wants to live, flashy, outspoken, opulent, all of the above. One of my childhood friends is like this and I need to be mindful of the time I spend around him because he can be a lot. Puff is going to have a rotation of young women, and he's living like he's in his 20s with his 50s fortune. Aye, go ahead, Puff, do what you want.

And I'm only using these 3 men as examples because we've seen where they started to where they are now.

David Beckham may be another good example, but we don't get a lot of news from across the water unless we're fishing for it. But I think he's shown a lot of maturity over the years, too.

Make The Good Choice

When that doesn't work out, make the other choice. 😁

Let me tell you something and I want all of you to start putting this in your daily mantra and it doesn't matter how old you are or where you're at in life, say this right here:

"I CAN NOT MISS OUT ON ANYTHING THAT ISN'T MEANT FOR ME"

This includes relationships, friendships, work opportunities, investments, fun nights, whatever it is, you do not miss anything that isn’t meant for you.

But if those same relationships, friendships, work opportunities, investments, and fun nights present themselves again, you can take it.

Just because you did not say Yes the first time doesn't mean you can't say Yes the next time. Maybe you said no the first time because it didn't feel right at the moment, but time changes things, right? And what we felt then may not be what we feel now. Just like with the men I mentioned, how they behaved then is probably not what they'll decide to do now, exclude Puff from this thought.

You know that saying, "When I was a child, I acted as a child" it's a derivative of the bible verse. It applies to all of us. Just like with the one reader who said, “A connection can be made with anyone, but it can only last but so long and go only so far without any real value or tangible substance. And if you only rely on that connection, you avoid your own reality, thus avoiding your own bullshit.” The reader also used an example of pedophiles relying on connections. Her example was extreme, but I think she was just trying to make her point.

So again,

"I CAN NOT MISS OUT ON ANYTHING THAT ISN'T MEANT FOR ME"

This can go so many different ways. There's things that are good for you and there's things that aren't, but you decide that. And here’s something else, the universe always knows what it's doing even when we don’t, and sometimes when certain things happen we call it coincidences or a sign. But the only thing we manage is what we feel and what we decide to do next.

Every decision is a great decision until it's not. And when it deems itself as not a great decision, then you have to figure out if you'll avoid making that decision again OR if you do make that same decision, what will you do differently next time? Because with growth we can walk down the same path, but this time we are more equipped with traveling it better.

Be safe everyone.

Why Do Men Do This?

Next: Watch this video.

Now I'm not saying all men are like this, but I am going to say that too many women have made men to believe they can treat you any way because you make it too easy for them. WHY?! There's 8 BILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. So unless you have self-esteem issues or plan to stay in your little town and not explore the world, I’m not talking about going to Atlanta or Miami or any of those superficial places where all you do is get meet strangers and drunk. I’m talking about taking trips that open your eyes to all the possibilities life offers. There is no reason for you to let a man walk all over you. Some of you women stress me out with this nonsense. And some of you men do too because you know what you're doing with these girls. 😮‍💨

Why are men so hard to communicate with? Anytime you ask them about something or call them out on something their go to line is usually something like, "Believe what you want." And then they turn it on you like you're the problem. The craziest thing to me is men are always saying women never admit they are wrong when men too have an issue admitting to their wrongs. The thing is, women may say or think the wrong things, but men actually do the wrong things.

Coat: Express | Scarf: Burberry | Cream Sweatsuit: Rehab Couture | Shoes: Adidas

And Ladies, I get it, if you like a guy you want to do anything to have him, but Baby, let's not limit your worth for a man who isn't half worthy of you. You're parading around here trying to be all he wants you to be and getting influenced by everything he’s telling you, but your not seeing how he's using your soft spot for him to only benefit himself. STOP THE DUMB SHIT. Because when men like that get around me, I'm apply pressure. I’m not just going to sit here a let you manipulate my emotions to second guess what I want and what I deserve. I’m as reasonable as they come and I keep telling you guys, whatever foolishness you are getting into out there, don’t let it affect what’s going over here. For us not to have drama, don't do something that catches my attention and causes the dramatic.

I don’t care what our situation is, if we are together or just talking and bonding, don’t let your past or whatever you may still be doing in your present to upset my peace and joy with you. Read between the lines of what I am saying. Ladies, I know most of you hate my mindset on this because you think it goes against loyalty, but you have to think about it like this, loyalty isn’t just about not cheating. Loyalty is partly about maintaining a strong understanding of things that you will and will not tolerate and making sure your bond with a person is protected. I like to be practical about men.

So practical that if I see a young lady who always finds a way to be near you and you let her get affectionate with you and I ask you if you're fooling with her and you look away or down when you're answering and you keep skip around my question…Ummm Fam, you're telling on yourself. There's no reason to hide it from me, you are literally displaying it, so just answer the question. 😐 I really don’t understand why men get like this. You either are currently fooling with her or something intimate happened that you don't want to say because you keep telling me you two are just “friends”. Okay 😒 I hate when men try to say they aren't doing anything extra with a woman when they're actions say differently.

Black Turtleneck/Legging Set: The Daileigh Shop

I like having guy friends who openly talk to me without any filters. I have friends who are amazing husbands, but I know some of them do things their wives don’t need to be stressed over. So they are careful and strategic with keeping any nonsense away from their marriages. They are not making more families or homes, they are doing what they do outside and still taking care of their families and keeping things stable. I don’t agree with it, but I respect them for how they do that. Men like this definitely do not display narcissistic behavior towards their wives or the main woman in their lives because that woman applied pressure and set the standard of what she will not tolerate.

What I don’t respect is men making women believe he’s going to leave his family and women holding on to the idea that if he does leave, they are going to have a worry-free life together. I told you I stopped being friends with a woman like this, right? That girl had severe self-esteem and moral issues. I can't be close to someone like that because that’s just going to bring me down.

But it’s a mix of woman being closed minded, not knowing their worth and men taking advantage of that, but when you question them about things they're doing they feel like you're being too invasive and that they are being unfairly judged or you don't understand them, because apparently people like this are never wrong. 🤨