Looking For Trouble

A little revelation about my 2 dreams, if you need to catch up with what I’m talking about go to the post right before this one. There's a few audio clips in there. I still keep having the dreams, except the recent nights, I now think the person I’m calling and the person standing next to me is the same person. With the phone dream, instead of calling the person, I am texting the person and this time the person sent a message back. What was said in the message was the same thing the person in the other dream said to me, but I can’t make out his voice. Sometimes my dreams have a funny way of keeping me wondering until it actually happens in my waking life. Seems cruel, huh? 😏 But at least now I know the two dreams are connected!

Also, another thing I should mention is the whole Keke Palmer fiasco with her partner. I know, I just hyped those two up and now the Usher thing happened and things seem to be iffy between them, but hey I did tell you guys….forever doesn't last a long time! I do see both sides to it, for Keke, she’s out with her friends, she’s feeling good, and she’s just enjoying herself. For her partner, he sees the woman he is with who is also the mother of his child wearing a very revealing outfit and in the face of another man. Look, I wear things all the time that show parts of my body, but I am very conscious of how close I am to a man, even being single. I do hope they find a way to communicate and be cordial even if they don’t stay together.

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“There's such things as good trouble.”

Let's talk about trouble. I do believe if you're looking for trouble, you will definitely find it, no matter what it is. I also believe there's such things as good trouble. We’ll talk more about that in a minute. If you are looking for something to be wrong about someone, you will find it, guaranteed, but don’t go looking for something that doesn’t need to be found, let that sit for a bit, that may mean something different to each of you. For instance, don’t look for something to justify anything you did wrong or could have done better. Like don’t try to pull out someone else’s flaws when you still need to work on yours. Don’t call-out someone else, if you can’t accept being called out. But, if your gut is telling you something is not right, listen to it, because you are probably correct. And at that point you need to decide if what you are feeling is something you can deal with long term.

So let’s talk about “good trouble”. Good trouble is what I call taking a risk, but it’s not causing harm to anyone. Like complimenting someone who you may have some history with, but what makes it “trouble” is not knowing where that compliment will get you, you guys following me here? Will it get you to a happy ending or will it just be words that stood in one place?

So let me share something really quick: Every now and then, I say some suggestive things to a guy I know, I’m not sure if he’s noticed it because I always say I’m joking and the reason I do that is, I am not sure if I want what I say to go any further than just a statement. I’m so cory, I know. I just don’t want to get into any BS with anyone and I’ve been good on my celibacy kick, even though I don’t refer to it as that because my purpose is not to abstain from sex, but more so abstain from getting involved with someone who is going to bring me down as opposed to being considerate to me. My Goods are GOOD right now and I want to keep it that way and I am only willing to share my good with someone who is transparent with me….BUT HELL, I don’t know, one of these days someone might just say the right thing at the right moment…and that’s all she wrote!

Ideally, there is nothing wrong if you want a little trouble here and there, just be careful with how much you may be rocking the boat and don’t do anything that may put you in a compromising situation. Be careful out there everyone.

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Dream A Little Dream

Don’t feel like listening? Listen instead.

I am a dreamer by all definitions. There's a lot of things I can figure out with time, experience, or research, but the one thing I can never be certain of is how to interpret my dreams. Everyone dreams, but there's been an interesting study that majority of people don’t remember their dreams the next morning. I almost always remember what I dreamt the night before, of course as days go on I slowly forget the details except when the dream is a little odd. I read that the dreams you remember most are the dreams that have a message. I don't know where the messages are coming from, but in my experience, I agree.

I also read somewhere when the mind is stressed or going though unexpected changes, your subconscious sends you messages in your dreams to help you identify elements in your waking life. With all that has been going on in my life, my dreams been leaving distinct residue on my mind. A few nights ago, I dreamt that someone handed me an egg. The egg cracked and I saw the yolk. There mixed meanings of seeing an egg in your dream, but you also have to consider other parts of the dream, like the color of the egg, what type of egg, and who else was in the dream. Generally, having an egg dream is a good omen representing new opportunities. But it can also represent privacy or a void of your emotions. That fact that in my dream the egg crack and opened up could signify that I need to open up or speak out about my feelings about something.

Several weeks ago I dreamt of a guy I know and in the dream it shown me that he got involved with someone he told me he never had anything going on with. — Isn't that how it always happens? The person someone tell you not to be worried about ends up being the same person they start fooling with some time later? Probably because of all the “friendly” times they shared together and one time they just took it further. Anyway, I’ve had dreams like this before were there is some type of message stemming from my intuition that tells me my suspicions aren’t all off based. I once had a dream about a man I was sleeping with and in the dream he is walking away from me and saying to me, “You need to go…” In my dream I was upset, confused, and hurt. About a month later it comes out that the man started seeing someone and didn't tell me until I began to question him about his behavior. Just like in my dream, I was upset, confused, and hurt. He tried to excuse the fact of not telling me by saying he feels at peace when he’s around me and he didn't want to ruin that. — Men like this will always have issues managing their feelings with different women. They don’t know how to separate lust and love and they damage people along the way. — ❗️ Goodness, if I ever decide to write a book, there’s one name that would keep coming up, and that man is entirely convinced I had several partners in the time that I’ve known him 😒. No sir, I’m one of the good ones.

When I was still with my ex and I was already on the verge of ending things due to him having a child outside our home (this isn't a secret, everyone knows, my family knows, his family knows, the town we lived in knows, all our friends know. It was an embarrassment for both of us, especially him considering how my life has improved tremendously after leaving). I had a dream that the other woman had 2 children. 2 boys to be exact and at that time she only had the one son…fast forward a few months later, she is pregnant again and has a boy! And yes by the same man. Yup, that did it for me…on top of many other things in our damaged relationship. I told you, when men fck up, they fck up pretty badly and when they do, don’t ever let him touch you again. Although, if you're the kind of woman who just gets better after pain, then you'll no longer have any interest on those past men anyways…What did I say before? “The further ahead you get in life, the more your type becomes less your type.” — Men who you move on from knew a part of you that no longer exists, and that part is the soft spot you used to have for him. The feelings are never the same again.

I think I have dreams like this because I’m a very engaged person when I’m involved with someone, I may not always show it, but when I open my heart to people I’m blindly loyal and the universe seems to find a way to tell me I need to step back when the person isn't giving me the same energy. But after any type of heartache, I do have dreams that send symbolic elements referring to healing, growth, and perseverance. For instance, after being severely disappointed, I dreamt of water lilies. Dreams of water lilies signify an evolution from a negative starting point to a positive end. The flower represents rebirth and a willingness to try again while the leaf or pad of the plant represents a solid place from which to gain stability when the world feels as though it is constantly shifting and changing.

I’ve had dreams about people I’ve not reached out to in a while and when I do finally give them a call, I learned major life news about them. Or someone I care about will popup in my dream that wakes me up out of my sleep; when this happens it usually because something severe had just happened to them. I also have dreams about people who have passed and relatives of other people who I’ve never met, for instance, I never met my ex’s mother because she passed before I met him but she appeared in my dream when I was pregnant with our first child.

I heard that when people have near death incidences the wall between life and the spiritual world becomes thin. I’ve had several near death experiences in my life which is why I am convinced that I have Guardian Angels or at least someone on the other side looking out for me. The first one was when I was 3 years old, something severe happened to me that people started to lose hope that I would pull through. I do not know if it is because I am very intuitive or somehow I am closely connected to the spiritual world, but for the most part, my dreams seem to tell me what to be conscious of or what to be prepared for.

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Rejuvenate

“We’re fu-ked up all the time and it’s not because we want to be that way, it's because we’re dealt a hand and guess what, we don’t run from it. We deal with it.” - Rihanna Fenty

Do you believe in second chances or even third or fourth chances? With my most recent experience, I just believe in CHANCES. Everyday we wake up is a new chance and yesterday is never coming back. There is no guarantee we wake up tomorrow so what I felt yesterday may not be what I feel today. We are entitled to change our minds as we are granted new days and we deal with what's right now and make it good or make it great.

Sometimes we go through things that force us to realize what we really want and what's really important to us. Sometimes major incidences give us clarity, such as life threatening circumstances that put you in a position to look above it all.

Do you meditate? I've heard meditation brings you to a realm of clarity or better understanding because you are closing your mind to the living world and opening it to something beyond. Some people see themselves in a different version, other people see possibilities of what lies ahead for them. Meditation is like a dream state, it's a personal and different experience for each person. I do not meditate but, I did have some secluded time where my thoughts were in the stars.

I wrote before about dreams (HERE) and the meaning of what you may see in your dreams; how you can have visions or messages relating to you or other people. I always get “visions” when I’m at a crossroads in life or I am struggling with a problem and I’d have dreams that give me hope and eased confusions. Someone said maybe it’s because I am very in-tuned with myself and people around me. Maybe...or maybe we are in a constant time loop and I keep remembering what has already happened? Maybe it's because I read a lot and my mind is conditioned to the unexplainable. Who knows. Over the years, I have become more spiritual but, somewhere down the line, I lost track of that in the midst of losing myself and now I’m in the process of getting back to it with a new set of eyes. I still like my privacy, want to be left alone most of the time, and won’t allow too many people involved in my personal matters but, I'm more willing to open up about my flaws and my willingness to be a better version of me. The last few days/weeks I've had some interesting visions.

One recent dream involved a birthday cake. It’s no where near my birthday. But, dreaming of a birthday cake is a good sign. Birthday cakes represent celebration of a "new year" hence new changes or a fresh start. It may also be good to mention I had this dream a few nights after a huge blow up with someone and that same person was in my dream but we weren't fighting, we were actually laughing and being very friendly with one another. (Dreaming of people has it’s own separate meanings.)

A few nights ago I dreamt of having, ummm…poop in my hair (sorry for any instant visuals). Of course I thought this was a bad message but, my research stated differently...

In summary, dreaming of having poop in your hair is the sign of an important change in your existence. You are going to start a healing procedure in your life by eliminating all the wrong things and feelings. The fecal matter is the disruptive element that you are trying to get rid of from your life and can also suggest that these changes may affect the people around you.

So both dreams represented changes...well, I did say I was starting the process of getting back to my spiritual self, right? I’m not sure how I distinguish what's a simple dream or what a meaningful dream is, but studies say if you remember the dream then it had a message for you. I can’t explain how I know it, I just know when I see something unusual in my dreams, I sense there's something more behind it.

Another dream I had recently was of my friends and family all together, it was like a reunion or a block party but there was no background, it was all white like a blank sky with no weather or color. Everyone was eating and having a good time and I was just sitting there watching everyone and I saw water lilies. If you read my Dream post then you will recall I dreamt of water lilies before when I was dealing something severe. Dreaming of water lilies means you are going though a time of trial but, not to worry because there will be a rebirth, the opportunity to try again. The water lily in a dream represents evolution from a negative starting point to a positive end.

My 2 children are having similar experiences with their dreams. Not too long go I was in a bad car accident. Months before that happened, both my kids at separate times told me they dreamt of me being in an accident. Odd, huh?

But what does this have to do with rejuvenation? Well, it's all connected, what we do, what we feel what we think or dream about is all connected. What is our purpose in this life? Why do we meet the people we meet? Why we have trauma? What does it all mean? There's no true answer, except that you have free will to live how you want. We're all sensitive to the agonies of existence, but that doesn't mean we are required to hold it against ourselves or others. It's not healthy to ignore your troubles but rather try addressing them so they become less of a burden...and then it's easier to let it go.

Sometimes we can't control high intensity situations, we're not always equipped to make rational decisions in the heat of a moment and we may think back and say, “Well…that could have gone differently.” Yet, we can’t harbor on it forever and when we take things too seriously, we can't let go of what may hurt. Pain and disappointment is real, but it doesn't have to stay with you.

Also keep in mind when someone isn’t opening up to you, they are probably dealing with their own struggles that may or may not have to do with you. While I was in my seclusion someone said to me, “Good people with good hearts never fully leave or let go of other good people...sometimes there is a misguidance and it may just take longer to come back around, but when they do, just smile, welcome them and make new great memories.” We cannot treat our personal relationships like a business, although it may be easier, here’s your pink slip, best of luck! No, our personal relationships have different exchanges, so when someone is ready to wipe off the dust, let them do it and maybe offer some help. Keep giving people your kindness.

Tomorrow is never promised, I know this is a cliché saying, but the reality of it is very true. We never know what today brings and if there will be a tomorrow. So here are some things I encourage:

• Take risks, you will make mistakes, you are human

• Be open to love and love hard

• Be passionate about what you want

• Be compassionate to those around you

• Be in the moment and don't fear where it takes you

• Learn to apologize and learn to forgive

• If it's not dangerous to you and others, do it

• Tell people how you feel no matter what they may say back

• Double, triple, quadruple text (lol) - let them know you are still here

• Call that person

• Don’t give up hope

• Be good to people, be better to yourself

Take the day as it is, whether you do nothing, watch a movie by yourself, go out, you make a new acquaintance, you get a surprise visitor, or you just have a long conversation with a loved one, embrace it all. A friend who I’ve known for several years has been asking to cook for me, one of these days I may take him up on the offer, but today, I’m catching up on Me.

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What Dreams May Come

I can remember my first "nightmare" from when I was 4 years old. I was being chased by 3 bears down a street that was near my preschool in Brussels. At that time I was fresh in a new country, learning a new language and seeing a lot of pale faced people. That dream represented a sequence of changes that were relative to my new life.

Some people think of dreams as just a figment of imagination and just for entertainment purposes. While others find connections between their dreams and their reality...I am one of those people and you also should not disregard what you saw as you slept you night away. The messages you may receive can give you comfort and clarity.

In an article I read about the dreams we have, it states that EVERYONE dreams. If you sleep, you dream, but a large percentage of people do not remember their dreams. Why is this? One theory the article mentions that I agree with the most is that some people are overly consumed in their day that remembering a dream is not on the to-do list. “If by the end of the day, you're down for the count, nearly passed out on the couch, science says you're the type to hardly remember anything you dream about.” Read the full article HERE. If your brain is balancing a lot of stress while you are awake, that can be a reason why it is blocking you from remembering your dreams, and when you get so used to not remembering, it becomes normal and then you are conditioned to "not dreaming". There are also studies of diet and hormone levels such as melatonin which affect dreams. And one thought to consider is that those who do not recall their dreams are not truly in tuned with themselves or the people around them. Hmmm.

Recalling dreams is a delicate and fragile process. As this article states, remembering a dream is like holding a fist full of sand in your hand and submerging your hand under water then bringing it back up.

For those of us who do remember, there are some dreams that I wake up from and want to dissect because it left that much of an impression. I once had a dream that I was looking onto a pond of pink water lilies and within my dream, I saw myself looking up the meaning of the flower...so something in my subconscious was telling me I needed to not forget about these water lilies and that I needed to research what it meant for my life. Of course the next day I impulsively looked up the meaning of pink water lilies in one's dreams and what I found was very comforting. Dreaming of water lilies meant I was going though a time of trial…which I was…and the message to me was not to worry because there will be a rebirth, the opportunity to try again. Dreaming of the flower represents evolution from a negative starting point to a positive end.

There are dreams that I have about other people and it foretells me what to expect as if I am being prepared for something that may have a big impact on me. Last year I had a dream of a baby, I could not tell if it was a boy or girl nor could I tell who this baby belonged to but, I was sure this little one was not mine. I've had similar dreams like this and it turned out that someone around me was expecting. The next day I reached out to a good friend and said, "Are you pregnant?!" My friend was almost appalled by my question and vehemently denied, especially since at that very moment she was consuming an alcoholic beverage. One month later she calls me with her husband in the background and tells me her home pregnancy test read positive. BOOM, my next godchild was on the way. It was the same result a few years ago when I had a dream of two little boys and a few months after that dream, two of the women in my office ended up being pregnant at the same time and both delivered boys. There is still a baby dream that has yet to surface. In this particular dream, I saw the details of a baby girl’s face. She was about 6-8 months old with a head full of chocolate brown curls and big brown eyes with an almond skin tone. Who does this little one belong to? Yours? I shall wait.

Is it a gift?

Maybe, but that’s up for debate since I also had and have dreams of pending heartbreak; again my subconscious telling me to be prepared. Years ago I had a dream of an incident and a few more dreams relating to the incident that became reality and would later lead to my move to Texas. Lucky for me, dreams of heartbreak comes far and few in between.

Most of my dreams are silly, confusing, and reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland’s adventures as yours may be as well but, ones that stick are the ones I continue to remember; even the ones that tell me about the success of others. I recently had a dream that I was with a friend looking at a vacant space he wanted to buy to expand his business. He was so excited and told me about all his plans and asked me to come back on a specific date to see the grand opening. This dream is yet to unfold or if it will unfold the same as what I saw, but if nothing else, the message here is to prepare of great things to come from this friend of mine.

Other dreams that occur are of places I have never been; I am wandering through a small village or a scenic island. Some studies claim dreams like that are resurfaced memories from your previous lives…if you believe in reincarnation….and if this is true then it leads me to wonder who was I in those past lives?

Here are some common dreams to think about: (None of these are definitive analysis, it is a combination of studies of people who have these dreams and their general consensus. Your dreams are particular to you and what you have experienced in life. The meaning of your dreams may not mirror the below meanings.)

• Being Chased - You are avoiding issues in your life so you are running from it. It is a message that you should face what you are trying to avoid. Sometimes it may be easier for you to run from a problem than to face it, but your subconscious is telling you different.

• Falling - There is loss of control in your life with work, finances, relationships, etc. and it is giving you anxiety. You cannot seem to grasp anything around you a hard as you try, you are still falling. Pay close attention to this dream and what it means to you in connection with what you have occurring in your life.

• You Think You Woke Up But Are Still Sleeping - You are worried about your upcoming day and your mind wants to prepare you for it. You may dream that you are waking up and starting your morning routine but you are actually still sleeping.

• Snakes - Hidden fears or worries that threaten you. This dream could be alerting you about upcoming issues that have yet to surface and could have a negative impact in your life. Think about what is happening around you, who is around it and if it is possible that there are ulterior motives that will hinder you in some way.

• Infidelity - Dreaming of a partner cheating signifies that you have concerns because your partner may be spending time and attention on things that do not involve you. It also signifies lack of trust with your partner which may be something to think more about and identify if there really is an issue. Dreams like this are more likely to continue with unresolved issues.

• Hot Air Balloon - There are different meanings of this dream depending on what you saw. If you were in a hot air balloon, it signifies that you will overcome an obstacle and find yourself in a higher status emotionally over others because you rose above a situation. But, this is temporary because with all balloons, they come down, so you have to be careful that your remain steady with your feelings while in flight and while coming back down to earth. If in your dream, you saw a hot air balloon crash, it means that you have set your goals too high and are not being realistic with yourself; your are being overly confident and not seeing the bigger picture which could lead to your crash and burn.

• Flying - Some studies say that the feeling of flying in your dreams means your subconscious is encouraging you to let go of certain issues in your life and be free of the worries. What is plaguing your mind? What are you worried about? It may be something not worth your stress, let it go.

• Dying - This dream does not mean the end for you, it more notes that there is something in your life that you should end, a job, a project, or a relationship, etc. much like the flying dream. Say your goodbyes and put the matter to rest.

• Babies or Being Pregnant - As you already read above, for me, having dreams of babies means someone around me is expecting but, generally seeing babies in your dreams signify innocents and new beginnings, in which my dreams aren’t far off. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or untainted. Dreaming of being pregnant is similar, the birth of a new idea, project, or direction in life such as a new venture, job, a move, or new relationship maybe?

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Raya Laephuang

Writer | Photographer | Intrigued with Human Behaviors

“I read the world around me.”