Stay Unbroken

August 25, 2022

NEW - Don’t feel like reading? Listen to the audio instead. 🔊

DISCLAIMER: This post is just for laughs. Please do not take any content seriously.

Ladies, here are sure fire ways to keep from getting your heart broken.

Shirt is from a Woman Owned Small Business in Philadelphia, PA - forthejawns.com

If he sends you a text message and you instantly start smiling when you see his name, ABORT MISSION and BLOCK HIM! Those are feelings coming to surface and you don’t have time for feelings! 🙃
If he asks you to come hang out with just him, DON’T DO IT!! It's a trap. You'll end up having a good time, you’ll start liking his company and then when he’s not available, you’re going to wonder if he’s out with another heffa. 😳
If he comments on how soft your skin looks, GIRL JUST WALK AWAY and don’t let him touch nothing on you! 🚫
If he calls you Beautiful or uses other terms of endearment like Babe or Baby Girl, RUN AND DON’T LOOK BACK! Those are ‘warming her up’ terms and we don’t need that nonsense!🏃🏽‍♀️
If he asks you about your day, DON’T RESPOND. He’s trying see where he can fit into that day. 👀
If he tells you to come over because he made dinner, STAY HOME! You’ll wake up the next morning wearing his t-shirt. 🥴
If he says, “You’re good people.” IT’S A MIND TRICK! What he’s really saying is that you probably are good at keeping secrets and not telling people you’re fooling around so he can tell people nothing is going on between you two. 😵‍💫
If you catch him looking at you and doesn’t say anything ACT STUPID like you didn’t notice him lusting on you because if you engage in whatever he is thinking about you’ll be undoing your bra strap for him later than night! 🙈
If he asks you, “Why are you running from me?” when you keep ducking his advances, that’s him trying to smoothly assert his dominance and ladies we all do get a weakness for those dominate men. DON’T FALL FOR IT! 😵
If you need some handy work done around the house and he offers to come over to help, B*TCH CALL A HANDY MAN and let that man stay his ass home. If he comes over to start fixing things, he’ll make his way to fixing you! 🙉

Again this is just for laughs. At the end of the day, you are in control of who gets in your bed or whose bed you wake up in. And honestly, all those things above sound appealing, but I am not open to having anyone play with my time and my emotions. I give too much for someone not to give the same back. I recall someone said to me, “It’s always all about YOU.” — I had to really pause on that and try to reflect back on anytime I DIDN’T compromise or make adjustments to make THAT person more comfortable, but yet I guess it wasn’t good enough since they tried to gaslight me like their action were always justified…which they weren’t. That statement really bothered me and hurt my feelings, but it was a while ago and water under the bridge now. That person obviously didn’t pay attention to who I am and most likely didn't value me, but ironically only thought about what they wanted from me.

Moving on. Again, you are in control of who you entertain. There is no perfect person which means there is no perfect relationship or connection. And on a serious note, if you look passed the red flags or lower your standards below your comfort levels for someone, you're really opening yourself to be hurt. Although, pain does teach us valuable lessons. Have fun, but be mindful.

Women

March 14, 2020

Women's History Month is an annual declared month that highlights the contributions of women to events in history and contemporary society. It is celebrated during March in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia, corresponding with International Women's Day on March 8th.

What does it mean to be a woman?

Does it mean we get the shorter end of the stick, that we eat last, that we support others before supporting ourselves, that we adhere to society's standards?

No.

Being a woman means we wield more power that what we realized. We are more needed than what some of our predecessors may have acknowledged. We are more intuitive, more intelligent, and more willing than ever before.

When we play by the rules, we're good. When we defy the odds we're better.

It's no longer the men who are dominant, women have taken the role of stepping forward and making a difference.

At home, we manage our households and everything that’s included. In business, we keep climbing ladders and everything that’s included in that. In between those realms, we juggle our hopes, dreams, ambitions, right next to our friends, families, relationships, and inner peace. There's an abundance of expectations for women, especially when we're hard workers, dependable, and supportive. We are constantly at battle to prove that we can handle whatever life may throw at us. We deal with so many obstacles as women; some in public, some in private. That's why I can’t stand for people to say to me, "I can't deal with this." You can’t deal with what? Life? Especially, people who volunteered themselves to you in some way and now want to recant. Well, I'm sorry YOU cAn'T dEaL and I’m sorry I'm not as easy as you want me to be, actually, No, I’m not sorry about that but, I know a few places where you can pick up some easy women who don’t have a their minds full, should I send you some info? I have no patience for fair weather people whom are only around when things are good or just to feed their narcissistic needs.

You men aren't the only ones who do things around here, let's be very clear about that. Unless it's a young girl working entry level retail still finding her way in life and needs a little assistance, Women who've started laying down platforms have a lot to think about too. So save me the bullshit about you not being able to deal. I run circles around your life because I get my recommended six to eight hours of sleep so that my cognition and my consciousness stay healthy.

People (men) who think they can just push through all the time aren’t taking care of themselves and are in denial of it. Having the discipline to wake up early at the same time everyday is a success move, but not getting enough sleep is foolish and becomes detrimental to your health which further affects everything you do. One of the books I’m reading called “Why We Sleep” by Matthew Walker PhD goes into extreme detail about why giving your body rest is important in our efforts to take on the world. When you don’t get enough rest, it affects your eating habits, your hastiness, your ability to hold constructive conversations, your patience to understanding, your memory, it can also impact mood swings and lead to depression, anxiety, or even long term neurological disorders. Your brain becomes ‘simple’ and it gets harder for you to handle complex thoughts, let alone complex situations. Ya see where I’m going here? I’m not pulling tricks out of a magic hat, there’s been extensive research on this. I wrote about getting rest last year and it is still relevant, see HERE. Why do you think women are such strong advocates of “Self-Care”? We didn’t make up this notion just to have an excuse to go to the spa and take vacations. There is a science behind it and we proactively study it. You need time for yourself? Take it. You want to just hang out with the boys? Do it. You want alone time with you and your kids? I encourage it. You can't be the best you if you don't give back to yourself. And if you are not the best You, then you're half-ass to everyone else.

With me being the type of woman that I am, I'm not for the weak, I want the best for people but, if you are not willing to help yourself, I can only take but so much until I need to save myself. My personality is strong, I don't always listen and I talk back more than I should, but I am aware of myself and agree that there are aspects of me that others find difficult to understand. I also don't ask for much and don't require much attention. I match energies, if you get bold, I get bolder. If you don't trust me, I definitely don't have much in you either. It goes to the old saying, “Treat others how you want to be treated.” Don't expect something that you are not willing to give in return. And if you have someone who is always giving without asking for much back, consider them a blessing. I've learned that asking little of someone can be asking too much of the wrong person.

Women have always found a way. If not for themselves, then for others. We find the strength, the courage, the confidence, and the resources to shape what is needed for us to be well. Men may mock us for overthinking or being too intuitive, but many of us women like strategy and backup plans. Think of this, if women didn’t have so many options for birth control, how much effort would men really take to protect themselves? …………? …………..? When it comes to being taught about how to live and care for ourselves, girls are given different lessons from the boys. It's no secret that girls mature quicker than their counterpart, so when the older man is pursuing the younger woman, who should know better?

With many of us embarking into our own businesses or landing executive roles, we are paving the way for other women to do the same, but we hold the responsibility of setting the standards so that the next woman can achieve the same success. We can't get too comfortable. We can't give people reasons to lose confidence in what women are capable of. We also can't mix business with pleasure, that's one of the tops rules of success. And as far as dating goes, women should date across or up and never down, but dating where you work or do business....ummm, doesn't always work out for the best. Related post HERE.

As far as we have come and as much as we have accomplished, Women still have long roads ahead. Here's to us, the battles we've won, the battles we've lost, and the battles we've yet to face. Let the weak stay in the back to learn from our examples. Let the strong be our mentors and lead us up.