Girl Cliques

“ALFA women don’t travel in packs. Or don’t always need someone with them.”

Some of you noticed that I really do not mention my girl friends a lot and that I speak of my guy friends more and you’re right, I do. That’s because I do have more guy friends than I do girl friends and I hang out with my boys more. I think as far as my demeanor goes, I mesh a lot better with my guys, but I also have great times with my girls. I just don’t always move the same way many women. Let me explain…

There’s been a few scenarios where I am hanging out with some girl friends and some of them seem to focus on finding a man to pay for our drinks, food, etc. I’m not like that, if I am stepping out, I can afford to do what ever it is I decide to do. I don’t seek out making an acquaintance with a man to talk him into covering a tab. I also don’t invite guys out with the motive of getting him to pay for my stuff. Or I know some women who will tell their friends to come hang out because they are going to meet a guy who is going to cover everything. It is generous if a man is willing to do that, but that should be the main reason why women go out. And I hate for women to encourage their friends to talk to men simply because the men have money or are wealthy. I HAVE MONEY. I’M GOOD 👍🏽. And a lot of women like to travel in groups or do not like to be alone. I LOVE coming and going by myself. I am not on anyone’s time and I can leave whenever I want to. I’m not waiting on anyone and no one is waiting on me.

Being Happy With Me

And not feeling like I need to be part of a group or needing someone around me all the time.

I love the women I have become friends with, but my relationships with them are completely different than my relationships with my guys. I feel like female friends require more time and attention. They require a lot of engagement otherwise you're not part of their “clique” or you're acting funny 😐. Sometimes I like to hang out, sometimes I don't. And sometimes I like to talk about things and sometimes I don’t.

And another thing about women is that they seem to always want to know the specific details in your personal life. Do you ever listen to what women talk about with each other? Most of it is just fluff when it’s not about anything substantial. And some of it is also just gossip. I don’t even tell my best friends everything, so I definitely won’t share a lot with those who I’m not too close to. For example, only a few people know about the Athlete and even fewer people know about Poppa. And I rarely ever say their first names.🤐

Like one of them could be sitting next to me and if I’m talking to one of my close friends, I’ll use their nicknames and I won’t say that I'm actually talking about the man next to me! 😝

I may speak about many topics on here, but there's still a level of privacy I like to keep. Even when I talk about the men I’ve been involved with, I never share specific details about them for a few reasons, 1. I want to respect their privacy too. 2. I don't owe the public any details. 3. I really don’t know who all visits my site. There may be people who know me personally looking for certain information, I don’t know. Yeah, I have a public platform but there's still a veil I like to keep over my life.

Some friends know some details about me and other friends know different details about me. I don’t share the same information with everyone I know. And I don't show people everything I’m doing. And I am not one who feels the need to take pictures of everything I’m doing when I’m out (Well except when I'm eating, I like taking pictures of my food 😝). Other than that, I like to just enjoy the moment. I don’t always need pictures every minute. Sadly, I know some men are like this too, posting pictures or videos of their outings. No, I’ll pass.

Again, I love the women I’ve made friendships with, but I don’t prefer to be in anyone's clique. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Forever Doesn't Last A Long Time

“Foreva-eva?…eva-eva?”

I used to think it would be great if everything lasted forever, but now I believe in reality. Even if you are in a committed and long-term relationship, time passes so quickly that forever can seem so short and you're left with memories and if your relationship does withstand the test of time, then memories are the best attributes to your love for one another. But this isn’t about that…

Whether you are married, single, in between relationships, or just dating around, I think we can all agree that our emotions are unpredictable. What we feel today might not be what we feel tomorrow and changing our minds is at our discretion because it’s our emotions. The tricky element is someone else's emotions may not align with ours. And that’s where feelings get hurt. I wrote about change of hearts earlier this year where I mentioned that at any given moment a relationship can change course because of one or both people. And I think when that happens it's the result of wanting different things. You may have started out having the same visions, but eventually something shifts and if the person isn’t shifting in the same direction then the relationship begins to break.

Happy, Blessed & Highly Favored

I Love It Here.

I think with where I’m at in life I completely understand the concept of forever not lasting a long time. Say I decided to start something with Chicago (the young man who I met last year), I would already know going into it that it’s not going to be long-term. Even if I get so wrapped up into him, in the back of my mind, I’d still be cognizant that this love affair temporary. And let’s say for instance, the guy I call Poppa calls me up and suggesting we start getting close again. I’d have to chose who I want to have a love affair with because I won’t be with both if them. And just because I choose one over the other doesn't mean one is the better man because even with Poppa, I wouldn't go into it thinking it will last forever. So let’s say I choose Poppa and then out of nowhere the Athlete from my past pops up and wants to start spending time with me again. I’d have to make another decision between the two because if no man is contributing to my home in one way or another, I am a single woman. And it's the same for a man. We have no obligation towards each other except for our feelings. So in any event you have to decide how deep your feelings are for someone. And emotions can run strong. They can also run hot and cold. That's why I don’t like to have any expectations too high about anyone. I can love someone and not be with them because loving someone and being in love are two different characters.

Any man who I’ve been with, I don’t ever speak ill of them, I may mention things I didn't agree with, but I don’t strip a man of his qualities. I think right now, I just want to enjoy who I enjoy no matter how long it lasts, but I also want a heads up when feelings change and when our forever is coming to an end. I don’t like being left in the dark when it comes to that, but here’s the other side of it and ladies I know most of you hate my mindset about this. If I’m involved with someone and he has strong feelings for me, but when he goes out he makes little connections with other women my only requirement is don’t let those little emotions outweigh your feelings for me. Don’t let those situations effect how you act towards me. If your feelings are strong for me then protect that. Because I’m still firm on the fact if I’m fooling with you, then I’m for you and I’m going to protect my feelings for you too. This isn't one sided and it's not just about me, so I am going to give you the same love. If you feel differently about me then say it because that’s when I feel I am being played with, when a man isn’t honest about his feelings towards me.

I’m not going to go through a man's phone and nag him about where he's going and who’ll be around him. No, I chose peace. I’ll be honest with you, I used to be like that when I was with my ex. I chose chaos over peace, actually we both did and it just blew up so much that I had to walk away. And I’m not trying to say that I welcome a man to make a fool of me, no. I am just giving him the option to be careful with what he does when he's not with me OR he can choose to be sloppy and cause problems for us. But the biggest hurdle he’ll have with me is that my intuition is 99% on point. I can feel the slightest difference in someone's behavior, so he’s got to be a master at whatever he does when it comes to keeping our connection going.

When I’m around, those silly girls aren’t and they have no leverage over me and no one is trying to be in your face or push up on you. And you know who has spoiled me about that??? ALL OF MY GUY FRIENDS. Anytime I hang out with my guys, there may be some women looking their way or want to talk to them, and my friends may chat with them for a few minutes, but they don’t take their focus away from me. And I’ve never asked them to do that. And that might have made me overly confident, but why shouldn't I be? I’m not perfect, but I’m the only one who’s me. And I’m not sorry that my fellas set the bar high. Catch up. So if a man can't meet that requirement I have, then our forever is going to be very short. So forever-eva? Nah…maybe just forever-for-now.