Expectations of a Man

Just because you are nice to a woman, does not mean your are entitled to her affections...

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<<< Who is this man?

Can we find him and make him POTUS?!

Be a good human, don't put on that facade to only gain a woman's attention.  If I am already not showing you interest, nothing in your "niceness" will change my mind.  The only thing that I will think is, "Huh, he's sweet." ...that's it and I will move on about my day.

I won't take anything more from a nice guy's behavior, but I also don't want the nice guy to deplete all his efforts into me when I am not available or willing to give him the same.  It's one thing to become a friend who I can count on and who I can converse to without it being awkward, it's another thing to be a man who's waiting on a weak moment to make his move on me.  This is why I am always hesitant to make male friends, I never really know their true intentions, especially the ones who revealed their feelings towards me in the beginning.

Yet, even if I do not adhere to his advances, it doesn't mean he should revert to being an asshole towards me. — And if you are the type of man to go toe-to-toe with a woman, then what type of man are you really??

Moving on, let's refer to the song, "Don't Be Cruel" by Bobby Brown and some of the lyrics...

Ohhhh, girl

As long as I've been giving my love to you

You should be giving me your love too

But you just keep on actin' just like a fool

You know it ain't cool

Girl, I work so hard for you from 9 to 5

So you could have the finer things in life

Since you're the kind that's never satisfied

YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO TREAT A WOMAN LIKE SHE IS THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU! 

Okay to be fair, the song is more about a man and a woman, presumably in a relationship or maybe the early stages of dating, so there could be reasons why he is doing the most for this woman.  Either way, a good man is a good man all around, not just for the sake of a woman.  If he wants to extend his expectations, so be it but, don't get upset at the woman because of something you decided to do to make her happy and she didn't seem to appreciate it.

(Don't worry fellas, my next post is about the Expectations of a Woman, and trust me, my thoughts on that are more exhaustive.)

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If you feel you are not being appreciated or she does not show you the same qualities, THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL THERE?  This is no different than a woman giving her all to a man who doesn't deserve it.  Move it along and find someone who shares your same views on relationships and love.

For me, the only thing I expect from any man is understanding and respect of my space, that is the minimum for a potential husband. 

Now, if a man does graduate to become my spouse or a serious partner at the very least, then my expectations will be a little more, because I will expect him to consider me in his decisions if we are planning to build a future together.  I would expect for him to be side by side with me in maintaining stability for our present state and for whatever future goals we have.  This includes, but not limited to, location of main residence, type and function of residence, financial allocations, parenting tactics, involvement in social activities, charity or volunteering, retirement goals, vacation plans, and the list goes on. 

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I will agree it is harder to get into a relationship now because the make-up of the man has changed mainly because the make-up of the woman has evolved.  Everything that I am doing in my life right now, I don't want to stop, I want to expand on it.  Make more money, travel more, have more time to facilitate with friends and family.  If a man can add upon that, then GREAT but, even if he is willing to do that for me, doesn't mean I am owed him anything due to his willingness.  Nor will I jump at the opportunity to take advantage of his generosity....again, 'Expectations of a Woman' in the next post.

The Proposal

I honestly believe that for a relationship to begin and be validated, the man is the one who needs to present a woman with one.  But does that mean that a woman needs to drop hints to the man she wants a relationship with?  If I like a man on a more personal level, then I will make it known to him....and I am not talking about simple friendly behavior like calling him and asking how his day was, because I did have several experiences where a platonic guy friend misinterpreted my behavior and thought I was interested in something more.  — No, I am talking about a more personal and intimate behavior where romantic topics are discussed.  If nothing else, I am great with my words and I am good with conveying what I think about a man I may be interested in.  And if that man does not pick up on my interest towards him, then I'm not going to keep voicing my thoughts, I am going to eventually grow weary and move on.  

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But what if a man whom I do like were to ask me...ME...to be his lady?  Men have far less patience than women; what if a man were patient enough to deal with me...ME?

People always assume I have a line of suitors knocking at my door….That is so far from the truth. There may be men who are interested in me but, I do not have interest in all these men and I do not think any of them really know me so well that they know how skewed my mind has become towards men and relationships...well, unless they are avid readers, then all bets are off. — But could a man really be willing to dig through my psyche and break down everything I built up to keep him out?

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I don't know how to be in a relationship. The only real experience I had with one ended in disaster...even though I came out of the mess like a shooting star, it was still very trying to my persona. Could the man who wants me be able to understand all of that? Could he be so benevolent towards my guarded heart that he is able to find what I once lost? If a man were to propose a relationship, I do not know how I would respond. Correction, if the right man wanted to have me, I definitely would not know how to respond...and this is where my true insecurity comes in...What if I am not fit to be in a relationship?...Am I aware enough to identify when I am pushing him away? Am I healed enough to reciprocate his affections? Am I caring enough to comfort him when he needs me without asking me? Am I unselfish enough to love him as he loves me?

Is this what we all unconsciously think when considering relationships? Or do most of us just take the dive and see how well we can swim against any currents? What if people stated these thoughts before entering a union? Would it open more lines of communication and understanding?

Lord, who ever you got for me, he doesn’t have to be perfect, just good to my soul.