Look, we can sit here and man bash until we run out of words, but the reality is not all men are liars, cheaters, egotistical, losers, who are just focused on their next conquest. We women choose who we are attracted to. Sometimes we are not attracted to the good ones and I raise my hand on this one. YES, there are good men who are single and want to settle down with a good woman. Are you worthy of a good man? Think about it before answering. Do you carry yourself in such a way that he can be proud to have you by his side? That his family can be proud? That his friends respect? A woman he can seek comfort in without judgement or criticism? Do you invoke intrinsic thoughts or are you just...eye candy?
Let's be honest, we analyze everything about a man, from his attire to his demeanor around other people. We subconsciously question his every move, "Why did he turn his phone over?". We search for things we have no reason to search for. We look passed red flags hoping our intuitions are wrong. We CREATE red flags that are irrelevant. Sometimes, we, yes, WOMEN, can be the source of our relationship failures whether we know early on if the man is no good but we still pursue or if he just seems too good to be true and we look for flaws. WHY?
STOP IT.
Once you see something that you know will become a major problem, address it but, don't magnify something that is minuscule, like him not calling you or texting you everyday. He does have a life, he could very well be busy. Especially if you two just met, you have to give it time to learn each other's languages before jumping to conclusions and yes, I have been guilty of this. I've assumed and I've fabricated complete stories in my head on why a man has not called and it's silly! You know you're great, give him time to know it too, if not, hey, someone else will see what he didn't. That's just the reality of dating. If you are already in a relationship and have "language" problems, then most likely you looked passed certain issues before having an understanding or you jumped into the relationship too soon.
Also, you must learn that being wrong isn't being weak (as stubborn and as strong willed as I am, I have learned to identify when I need to back down and let him say what he has to say and accept it. It's not just about me and what I think and what I think isn't always accurate.) I was recently brought back to a realist perception after I made comments to a man that insinuated he was placing me in an unflattering category. He responded with statements that made me quiet and realize that I was making accusations without significant cause. I backed down, apologized, and said he was right.
Before anything, you two are supposed to be friends. Ask yourself, Is this a friend you want to keep long-term or do you feel the bond will digress over time? In which case you either need to invest smart or withdraw quickly.
