Don’t feel like reading? Listen instead.

Let me start by saying I have just as many guy friends as I do girl friends, but there is usually an imbalance of who I hang out with more because I do not always agree with every woman’s common perspectives on men and relationships and my girl friends don’t usually like my input. — Ladies, sometimes we have to take some of the blame when relationships fail or if you are constantly looking for love, but love never finds you. There is a statement I saw that reads: “None of my exes are married or in happy relationships, so I know I wasn’t the problem.” - This may be true for some of you, but what about the latter? What if almost every ex you have went off and got married? Then does that mean YOU were the problem? I guess that would all depend on how many relationships you had, the longevity of each one, what transpired within the relationship, and what caused it to end.

BUT, let me get back on track…when men fck up, they fck up pretty bad, but downplay it like what they did wasn’t big deal. In the clip created by Jess Hilarious, it emphasizes a man being upset that a woman is possibly seeing other men. Then she responds to him by stating he has a NEWBORN. I think this information implies that the man was sleeping with other women while in some form of building or starting something with her, but he is making it seem like it shouldn’t be an issue.

Of course this is an exaggerated example, but it brings light to how men behave and still expect women to fall in line with their bad behavior. Okay, so you can go and have a child with another woman, but I have to be okay with it and still give you a chance? THE AUDACITY. It’s similar to him saying he’s interested in you, but then talks to other women and gets upset with you when you talk to other men, like you cannot dare do the same thing he’s doing.

Real Life Scenario: I was involved with someone and those of you who’ve been coming to this site a long time know I don’t entertain multiple people. So the guy and I are out one night having fun, enjoying the crowd and talking with people around us. I think nothing of it. It was a good night. But later on the guy mentions that I was acting different when another man came around (WHAT?). I was really trying to wrap my head around what he thought he saw and the actual reality of the situation which was we were have conversations with everyone around us and I didn’t change my body language in any way to make it seem like I was giving someone other than him special attention. In hindsight, that was an insecurity on his part. If he had an issue, he should have addressed it sooner than later because the sooner you address something, the better perspective you receive. I noticed he would casually bring things like this up, making assumptions I was talking to other men. It wasn't until later on I sensed he did this to justify himself, to deflect his poor behavior and lack of consideration for me because one time he let another woman be all over him! IN FRONT OF ME. It wasn’t one of those things where a man is dancing in the moment and just enjoying the atmosphere and a woman around him is doing the same. No, it was him letting this girl fondle all over him, sit on his lap like they were a couple and him just soaking it up and smiling about it. Fam, you do that on your own time, not when the woman you're sleeping with is around you. And then he acted like I was the one with an issue when I had an attitude about it. 🤨 — Okay Sir, be out here and clown all you want to. I told you men are stupid, right? Yeah, STUPID. This is why when you fck up with me, there’s no chance of you ever getting close to me again, so let’s hope that move was worth it. I wish you well and all the happiness the world believes you deserve.

Never in my life have I ever had to approach a man so I definitely don’t feel I need to chase one. If a man is not attracted to me or does not see how great I am, that’s fine, I’m not going to force anything on him — and me questioning certain things isn’t forcing, it’s gaining clarity. Some men don’t know this difference and thinks a woman is pressuring him. Like when you bring up things that bother you he makes it seem like you're the one that's being a bother. 😐 Fam, I'm trying to communicate my feelings to you! And the kicker is they think you're trying to argue when it only becomes an argument when they get offended and want to turn it back on you. Because they don’t understand emotional intelligence and aren't able to process how their actions affect your feelings 🙄

On the other side of the male spectrum, you guys remember the young man I met and decided not to string him along? Well, he still reaches out to me now and then and every time he does I more and more realize he does not understand or want to understand everything I need to do to maintain my life. I’m not going to go into details and I know he means no harm because again, we are at different stages in life so he cannot relate to me and of course he won’t full grasp why I’m not always available. But every time he reaches out to me it’s a constant reminder of, “Girl, you don’t have time to explain it to him, just type LOL and go.” He will be a great partner for someone one day, but I’m not her and I’m not about to waste his time while also wasting my time.

I don't need attention from everybody. If I like you and want to build something with you, I only want attention from you. It would be great if men started to practice this type of thinking too. This is called Accountability over Audacity. Let’s all work on this.