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I keep coming across articles and podcasts where a few women discussed how they manifested their perfect man and they are now either engaged or married. 🤔 Okay, someone is going to have to spell this out for me….so these women decided on what type of man they wanted and he just appeared? Maybe it wasn't that simple, but isn't that similar to having a list? Or putting out into the universe what you want back?

I was never one to have a list, but I do believe in wonders of the universe. — Unless you’d consider my post about Mr. Perfect a list and a type of manifestation; three things I didn't mention in that post are (and these are my personal preferences) 1: A man knowing how to hug you. There's a kind of hug where he holds you tight to him and looks at you with the highest admiration before kissing your forehead and then resting his cheek against your hair. 2: He knows how to pay attention to your body, listens to it and knows what you sound like right before you 💢💦…so he can keep going. And 3: Most women will understand this - There are days when I just don’t feel pretty. There's nothing wrong with my self-esteem, but sometimes I just don’t feel attractive. On those days I still want for my Love to compliment me and make me feel like I'm the most beautiful woman he knows.

The women who shared their stories all seem happy, in which I am happy for them. Finding a partner, a companion, who you can share your goals and achievements with is amazing. Calling them when you have great news. Calling them when you have bad news. Celebrating together. Comforting each other. Listening to old records on Sundays. Sometimes meeting for lunch. Laying the couch watching shows together. Joking about silly things. Apologizing and working to do better. Surprising each other. Building a life together.

Maybe I’m a bit standoffish to this idea because men have let me down and disappointed me. I saw something that said, “People who are highly independent have gotten used to people letting them down.” Accurate. The most frustrating part is that I don’t even really ask for much. I don’t want more kids, I’m still on the fence about marriage, I make my own money, I have my own places; so all I want is quality time, progressive conversations, maybe some weekend getaways here and there, a few date nights, and him not to act funny with me in front of people, but even then it’s too much for them. 🙁 — Not every grown man is grown.

Let me put it into terms some of you can follow:

📢 If we’re fckn, I’m your btch. You don’t have to wonder about me getting comfortable with someone else. And if we’re out and there's other broads around us then I’m the one you're entertaining. It's not about those hoes at the moment, it’s my time. We’ll still be friendly and welcoming to people, but our body language says “Nah, I’m with someone”. And if we're in the house, I'm not worried about what's going on outside because I'm devoting that time to you. We’re not going to be around each other 24/7 but when we are, let’s act accordingly.

Although here’s a thought, What if a man is manifesting a woman like me? Would our manifestations lead us to finding each other? What if I already know him and we are unknowingly desiring the exact type of people we already are? But we just don’t talk about it to each other so we never see what’s right in front of us. Could a man fully love a woman who is prideful, stubborn, determined, driven, shuts down when upset, gets a little too much when drinking, talks aggressively, makes inappropriate jokes, doesn't know how to take compliments, is loyal, passionate, sensual, sensitive, and still evolving?

Maybe one day someone will ask me to dinner and I’ll actually agree or breakfast might be less formal. Whoever he is, let’s hope he never finds this site. But, I would like for my potential partner to get a glimpse of how my mind works, even if he never tells that he see all these topsy-turvy posts. 🤪 I’d probably turn red if he did tell me because I do say some intimate things. 😳 …Sir, which post exactly did you read???!!!

I had a conversation with my mother not too long ago and she mentioned how proud she is of her daughters for achieving so much in life that we do not have to seek a marriage for stability. And she kind of made a jab at herself saying she wasn’t smart enough to do the same. I never heard my mother say something like that before and reveal that side of her, nor do I think she is foolish for always landing a husband who takes care of her. She is of a different generation and upbringing. In her environment, the goal was to be a wife in America. In my environment, the goal is to defy the odds predetermined for women. So I ask again, What if a man is manifesting a woman like me?