Don’t feel like reading? Listen instead.

I got a few comments from you guys from the last post about one of my guy friends who doesn’t like it when I wear revealing clothes. Some of you feel he is a great friend for wanting to keep my safe, while others thinks that he should not have a say in what I wear. Let me defend my friend here….

He wholeheartedly cares about me, we have known each other since we were kids and have seen each other through many life events. He did not and does not like my ex, but he tolerated him out of respect for me, so of course he was elated when I left that relationship behind me. But as far as him being particular with what I wear, it’s only when he and I hang out where we were raised the men in the northeast are a bit more aggressive than men from other areas. Sometimes it’s harmless and it’s just in their nature or demeanor, other times it can get out of hand and that’s why my friend feels the way he feels about me showing a little to much body. He’s had to step in against his own friends who tried to be a little too forward with me, because in his mind, not only am I a close friend, but I am also a woman and most men can physically dominate me, so he doesn’t want for me to get into a situation that could damage my life and because of that I do not mind covering up a little when I am around him.

Moving on….

So you guys remember when I said I decided last year that I wouldn't get intimately involved with someone? I still stand by that. The “sex only” stuff is not for me. I need it to mean something otherwise you’re wasting my time. The whole “it’s just sex” mindset can be used on those malleable girls, if you remember the video I shared from Shuler King, then you know exactly what I mean.

I want you to be of value to my life if I’m going to allow you to have a personal part of me. Give me advice, challenge my mind, share your thoughts, incorporate something of importance to you into my life. I cannot lay with you if all you can offer me is just your body, anyone can do that. I can't think of you intimately if you disappear, avoid me, or you are not available during times where I may need to lean on someone. That doesn't mean I will always need to lean on you, but at least you care enough to be there for me if I do need you. What sense does it make when you're only present when you want to have sex, but gone when I’m not at my best? In that case, You can stay gone. I do not want someone who sleeps with me and then throws in the towel when he feels he’s being pressured to be more than just a body to me.

Giving myself to someone who isn't engaged with my mind and spirit is like rewarding someone for just existing. You cannot just “exist” with me, especially if you want me, you have to add substance. I want to cherish the times I spend with you, not just clean my sheets each time. I want to laugh together, eat together, talk about our days together, I value companionship.

Now, with that being said, my schedule isn't so open to always have time for companionship, but with someone who doesn't get upset, make assumptions, and is understanding of times I need to work, study, be with family, catch up with friends, or to just be alone, then he’ll definitely get my efforts to show him my appreciation. Even if it does not become anything very serious, I still want it to mean something while we’re doing this.