Love Raya

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A Few Good Men

I need to brag on some of my male friends. There is only a handful of them who have no ulterior motives when I hang out with them. I don’t speak with them all the time, may once a week, maybe every few months, or maybe only once a year, but anytime I am around them, I feel loved, supported and protected. 😊

They make me feel very comfortable and respectfully correct me or challenge me to think beyond my emotions. But one of the best things I love about them is that they always make me feel great about myself. No, I never had an intimate relationship with any of them and none of them have seen me in an inappropriate way. *There was one evening recently when I was out with a few of them celebrating a birthday and my low cut dress kept having a mind of its own and trying to show my areolas (see photo, that's the look I was wearing). A couple of the guys delicately fixed my dress throughout the night. Yes, their hands graced my breasts and maybe a nipple, but it wasn’t in a way where I felt fondled, offended, or uncomfortable; in other words their hands didn’t linger on me.

And anytime I’m out drinking with them, they always offer to either get me a hotel room, welcome their home to me, or find a way to get me home safely. Even though I always decline their offers, I love their warmth towards me and how they look out for me. There are only a select few people who I feel safe around when I am drinking a lot, hence why I don’t drink with too many folks.

All of these men are highly attractive and are established well in life; most of them are married or in serious relationship and many of you know my stance on taken men (not the way I move). As for the single ones, there's a line I won't cross due to other factors on top of my personal values.

When you have men who genuinely care about you and who don't take advantage of your friendship with them, you start to learn a different version of love and understanding. Through these amazing male friends of mine, I've learned another level of patience, empathy, and ambition. Plus, they encourage me to keep my options open as a single woman and want me to have a partner who equally values me just as much as I value him.

For instance, I’m sure they would not want me invested in someone who spends intimate time with me, but then turns around and invites another woman to the movies or the bowling alley and when someone mistakenly mentions it to me and I ask about it, I get this line, “Oh, it was nothing like that.” — Sure Fam. Somehow she just guessed you were going to be there and expected you to take her home afterwards. Yeah ok, go ahead and exit stage left because your act is redundant. *(If you’re going to do fck boy things, then do fck boy things around people who don’t know me or who know the code of propriety with two people who are sleeping together). You can enjoy yourself, but make sure to not let anything questionable get back to me.

I would not have any issues introducing my guy friends to someone I’m involved with and I don't doubt that they'll let me know if someone isn’t for me or if someone is playing foolish games with me. I fully believe they want me to be happy and want to see me thrive in life just as much as I want the same for them. There is really not enough words in the world to fully explain my appreciation for these guys; I am blessed to have them.


*Either that or it’s these new natural body oils I’ve been using that’s keeping everything healthy.