“I love them and they love me. But they don't love each other.”

How many friend groups do you have? I think I have about 4 or 5. Friend groups are people you either met at different junctions in your life or people you’ve connected with who share the same qualities or visions as you. I have friends from my childhood and friends I met post high school. Within those categories are different friend groups. I have 2 separate girlfriend groups, one who like to go to lounges and make a night of it, and the other who like to do day events like brunch and be home before 10pm. Then I have friends I've who I categories by city or state. Lastly, I have friends who I don’t have in a group and I just hang out with them individually. But the question is, do you mix your friend groups and bring them all together? Some people say only for special events like birthday and holiday parties. Other people say the keep everyone separated. And I'm part of that other crowd.

You see each group knows different versions of me and that's how they view me. It’s the same for all your friends too. People you met when you were kids, they had different experiences with you as you experienced the different milestones in life. Same goes for people who net you as an adult, they only know about your childhood if you share it with them. And because my own life has had many obstacles and turns my friends represent those different avenues of my life.

I don’t keep my friends from meeting each other but I’m mindful not to bring people around each other who may not share the same vibes. For instance, I wouldn't necessarily invite my brunch girlfriends to come hand out with my lounge girlfriends. But I'd be more receptive to bringing my lounge girlfriends around my group of guy friends who like to do the same. The only thing is, I don’t like to be the middle person if one friend ends of having an issue with another friend and then I have to defend them both. I know what I love about all of my friends and I know why they love me, the doesn't mean they’ll love each other, so most of the time I just rather keep everyone separated.

Even my 2 bestfriends from childhood, they are complete opposites and wouldn't really enjoy each other's company. So even growing up, I spent time with them separately. It just avoids potential issues with my friendships. And you know how I've continually mention that I don't bring a guy who I may be interested in around my guy friends? I don't do it with my girlfriends either. And I really don’t know how it became like that and maybe it's because my views on relationships have changed? I just like to be mindful of everyone's comfort especially those I care about.

The only group of friends that's kind of already mixed are my bar friends including the bartenders. The ages are varied, the education is varied, the demographics are varied, it’s really a mixed bag. They've gotten to know a little about me, I’ve gotten to know a litte about them and sometimes they’ll invite me to other bars. Sometimes I go, and sometimes I just stay where I’m at, because the most of the bars pull in a younger crowd and I don’t necessarily want to mixed in with that. I can adapt to anywhere I am and I can have fun anywhere, but I also have a limit when I'm around people or in places that really don’t fit my personality, you know what I mean? Even one of my bar friends who is my age and many people in the area know him, he has shared the same sentiment. He likes being invited and he'll join sometimes, but he doesn't want that image on him. Either way, I love that the younger groups see me as someone they like being around.

You know how sometimes you'll see the older guy with a bunch of young women? Many people don’t have positive thoughts on that and I’ve heard some of the things they’ve said especially more so in the bar setting when people notice certain a certain couple or a noticeably older gentleman with a younger woman, and I can see the looks on their faces and they’ll make comments and the comments aren't very pleasant. I don’t want to be someone who they make those types of comments about. So I mainly stick to my circle of friends who I've developed valuable connections with.

In a way, you're friends groups are your protection circles. They'll protect what they love about you, well at least my friends do. Even when I’m not really getting along with someone in the same group, each of them still stands by both of us. Which I can appreciate when people don’t take sides and still acknowledge both people have to take steps to mend fences. And that's what’s beautiful about having these friend groups who protect the value of the group and everyone in it. And I’m very protective of my friends and that may be the reason why I don’t mix my friend groups because I don’t want them being offended by a friend from another group and vice versa. What are your thoughts on this?

Be safe everyone.