“Fellas, Let’s Get It Right.”

Before we get into the topic, I want to say this. I like when men surprise me, in a good way. Especially when I’ve already written them off as someone who won’t make the extra effort. So when a man does or says something that catches me off guard and makes me change the way I look at him…I’m like…this muthrfckr 😂🥹. Why are you being so sweet?! I already had it set in my mind you were one way, now you’re showing me you’re another way. WHT, but I’m not complaining, I like when a man proves me wrong in the best way. Like show me that you are better that what I thought of you. Don’t hide that from me. Baby show me the man you can be! 😚I may want to love on you.

But let’s talk about that. There’s too many of you that really aren’t aware how your actions make you look like…for lack of a better word…a bitch. It’s one thing to have confidence and claim to be an Alpha male, but it’s another thing to confuse that with being narcissistic and emotionally destructive. First, I want to point this out, I know some of you are use my topics and my words make yourselves look better to women, I don’t fault you for that, I’m on my shit, but what I will fault you for is if you really don’t believe or practice what you are preaching. Don’t take my words to gain admiration, but then don’t really follow through what what you are trying to claim. That’s a way of trying to control people and you’re going to get bad juju for that. be upfront, believe in what you are saying and let people make their own decisions.

Secondly, when you are called out for doing something foul, own up to it. The mark of a gentleman is taking accountability not just for the good, but for the bad too. Those of you who have been around a while, know that I speak of taking responsibility for your decisions and finding a way to do better. You are going to make mistakes, but you should also be mature enough to acknowledge your part in that mistake. I am not saint, I am not the perfect mother, not the perfect daughter, not the perfect sister, not the perfect wife, not the perfect lover, not the perfect friend. But what I am is someone who does take time to reflect on things and make an effort to work on myself. Ladies, this is for you too, I can’t just only point to the men on this one.

Both men and women, we have feelings and emotions, but we have to get better at expressing it, this includes me too. Part of my issue is that because I am single, I do not have any obligations to anyone. Even if I care about someone, I don’t always make it a point to tell them I care, again this is something I need to work on. And my feelings towards people change all the time, especially with what I said in the beginning, if a man shows me a great side of him, I may develop different thoughts about him. That’s the beauty and the ugliness of being single, I can care and not care at any given moment. But I do want to be a person who does care and let people know I care. I don’t want to make it seem like someone else’s feelings is an inconvenience to me, especial if they are part of my life.

Because communication between men and women can be dense at times it’s one of the main reason that gets me weary about serious relationships. I don’t want to be out here thinking how great my partner is and he’s out here not even protecting my confidence in him. And I hate to say it, too many of you fellas are like this. If you don’t think this is you, think again and think about how you have been treating women and what they have been expressing to you. Fellas, I get it, women can be irrational at times, but that doesn’t come out of nowhere. Our gripe usually comes from not being seen and heard by you guys. I don’t like feeling that way, especially when I know that I’m not just a trophy, I am a benefit and a value to a man. Yes, I’m going to talk my shit right now. - I am that bitch. There’s no one else like me, there are women of similar caliber, but no one else is me or compares to me. If you want a mediocre bitch that doesn’t have too much going on other than shift work, some little outfits, and simple minded friends, then go ahead baby, there’s plenty of them out here and yes they are all pretty and they want to have fun and yes they will make you feel good about yourself, but none of them got shit on me and can’t hold a candle to me.

I’m a single mother, I’m devoted to my family, I’m a career woman, and I handle my business. If you want someone who’s not just serious about her own growth, but also serious about yours too, someone who’s going to push you, sing your praises, validate you, and show you things about life that you’ve never been aware of, then baby you want someone of my character. But I’m going to be honest, women of my caliber are tough because we are willing to put in the work, so we require you to put in the work too. When we get involved with someone, we are making an investment because we saw something in YOU. Who you chose to be with or who you choose to entertain, that person is a reflection of you. Women of my stature, we’re not out here playing pittypat. Yes, we do want to enjoy ourselves, but we are also out here to support you, build with you, toast with you, learn from the mistakes, and love on each other the whole way through. And if any of those things fall short - Yes, we will put on some pressure. So you’ve to be clear with us if you’re not ready for that, because then we’ll know how far we CAN’T go with you and us women will keep thriving in our own ways. You can’t bullshit a woman who’s got her shit together, because she has a lot going on and wasting her time and drowning her emotions is a different type of pain and disappointment And don’t be upset with me for being upset because you couldn't handle me. You don’t put top shelf at the bottom.

It’s been many times where I hear women complain about men not coming through for them when or living up to their word. One of the things Scarface said we have in this world is our Word. Fellas, when you say something, follow through. And if you are dealing with a woman who you can’t follow through with, then baby she ain’t someone you’re really serious about, and you’ll need to be honest with her. If your only concern is YOU, there’s nothing wrong with that, but you need to let that be known.

With men, I know that navigating through your emotions is different for you guys than it is for us ladies. But fellas let me say this, don’t give a woman hope if you cannot give her everything she wants with you. And there are incidences where you may not mean to do that, because some women do take things more to heart. And maybe you are not really sure of what could happen, that’s fine, we’re never really sure what tomorrow brings, but if you know you cannot give her all of yourself, that you cannot promise her certain things, or that you are not willing to make big changes for her, then be clear on that. It’s okay if you don’t got it all figured out, but don’t make her think you do.

Being a good man is be being good to the people around you and part of that is being honest with who you are, what you want, what you are willing, and what your limitations are. I can’t make you be better than what you are, but I’ll give you credit for making an attempt to be better.

Be safe everyone.