“I’m Thinking Of You, I Know You’re Thinking Of Me Too.”

Do you remember a few topics ago where one of you sent a message talking about checking up on an ex or someone you used to be involved with? This topic is going to be in relation to that. There are so many ways to check in on people these days without directly contacting them, but there is a fallacy to that. When you don’t directly speak to the person, you don’t really know if what you are seeing or hearing is accurate. I tell you guys all the time, what you see on here or any of my other platforms does not 100% reflect the actual details of my life.

I don’t think I have anyone who's checking on me through any of my platforms or through any other sources. I’ve really not been surprised by anyone in a long time, and that would surprise me if anyone is going out of their way to see what I’m doing, well aside from the petty people who want to find something nasty to say about me, other than that, these days there’s not too much that people do that really makes me lose my words.

Is there someone you guys keep tabs on? It can be something simple like checking to see what they are doing with themselves since you last spoke with them or if they’ve gotten married, divorced, moved, or some type of major life change. I don’t think it’s odd if you do that every now and then, BUT if you are constantly or routinely checking in on someone, maybe you just need to reach out to them. Why stay hidden? That person could be wondering about you to. You’ll never know unless you take that chance. Just like with one of the readers, JK, she ran into an ex, agreed to have lunch with him, they caught up on each other’s lives and now they are trying to rekindle a new romance. There’s nothing wrong with re-loving someone you used to love. Does that make sense? If there is someone who crosses your mind more than once a week, just call them. What is the hesitation? What are you afraid of? The only fear you should have is the fear of not knowing what could happen. Communication can settle many things, just be honest and transparent with your intentions.

Just like how I mentioned in the last topic, whoever I get involved with, I am going to lay it all out for him, what I will and won’t accept, what my limits and boundaries are, and what my main priorities are. I am no longer going to hide my feelings about something especially if it’s negatively impacting me. And I’d want him to share the same things with me, let me know what you have going on so I know your limitations and let’s figure out how to be cohesive together.

And even though I am saying all this, I’m still not going to approach a man with my interest towards him, he still has to break the ice on that. I am a firm believer that a man is the leader, he’s the one that takes charge. I like a sure man, and a sure man is going to let me know if he likes me and wants to see more of me and that’s when I decide if I want him too. I also like a confident man; I’m a confident woman. I like a man who is of good echelon, who believes in acts of service and being gracious to people and the community and who also understands the importance of having good character, but how will I know any of this if a man isn’t going to speak up and let me know I’m on his mind? And even if I don’t feel the same about him, a confident man won’t let it bruise his ego and feel some type of way against me, he’ll still be a good person about it and just step away without any resentment.

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Audio Suggested: I started watching Scandal, I know I’m very late to this. I’m only on the second season. I’ll admit it’s well written. The one thing that I’m really intrigued by is Olivia Pope’s dynamic with the President. Yes, they have a salacious affair, but it’s very clear that they care about each other even when they aren't getting along. There’s scenes where they are arguing, just picking at each other, but at the end of it they give into each other because they want to look out for each other and they have this pent up frustration because they can't be with each other like a normal couple.

Both of them have done things to hurt each other, but they can’t seem to let each other go. And it’s not only because they care for one another, but it’s also because they are in the same environment and and have the same circles. So in one way or another they are going to interact. It’s not like they are volunteering to go somewhere knowing they will see each other. Both their lives and the people they know overlap so it’s by default that they are indirectly and directly in each other’s lives. Both characters are attractive, powerful, and highly intelligent. They can choose to be involved with anyone, but for whatever reason they still fall back to each other. It's not like the main character in the Reasonable Doubt show where Jax fooled with men below her weight class. — Like girl, you are a high profile lawyer and you're sleeping with these type of men?

Fellas, it’s the same for you too. If you are in a certain tax bracket or make a certain salary with a nice investment portfolio, and a mortgage or even children in high school or college, you’ve got an honorable circle of friends, you yourself is very smart and have taken yourself through a lot of difficult life challenges, and you’ve climbed the blue or white collar ladder, then don’t link yourself with someone who chasing minimum wage and not even on a management track or in some type of program to improve their skills set or their paycheck. Let them figure out their lives, you can check back with them in a few years and if they're still in the same place, keep moving. Those type of people are just for the moment and nothing more because they are never going to be able to keep up with you until they step up and until then you’ll end up being their source of dependency. Know your worth ladies and gentlemen.

Olivia Pope knew her worth. Granted she got herself is some mess and I may be speaking too soon because again, I’m just starting season two. But so far, she seems to get involved with men who are within the same echelon as herself. And yes, there's drama, but where there's love there's drama.

But what I love about Olivia's character and also triggered by it is that she still protects her lover even during the times when he doesn't protect her and during times she's not sleeping with him. And those of you who watched the show will probably say, “Well, that's her job.” And you're not wrong, and this is why the writing is good. She exercises extreme discretion about her relationship with the lover, so far in the show she has not told anyone she was sleeping with him, but a few people did know because they found out other way, but even then, she doesn’t go into the details about her relationship, and I applaud that. There are times where you see her struggling with her emotions between the man she loves vs. what she should be doing for herself and her career. She even tries to distract herself by getting involved with other men and you still see her protect what she had with the lover. You see her sacrifice her feelings and make heartbreaking decisions just to continue to protect the man she cares about and to keep herself at bay. That resonated with me.

How relatable is this too any of you ladies? I don’t know how many times I kept my thoughts and feelings hidden just to protect the image of a man or protect the sanctity of what I shared with a man, while he was doing whatever he wanted and not realizing how he himself was subsequently damaging his own image, but yet I still did and said things to protect him. How many of you ladies have experienced this? It’s because when you love, you love too much and sometimes people don't know what to do with that. In my case, I was never great at telling a man I cared a lot for him. I would just get upset when I felt he didn't notice how much I was investing into him and of course that was always misinterpreted; that's something I need to be aware of and work on with whoever I decide to get involved with next.

Okay, we've derailed too much. Back to the original thought. If someone is constantly on your mind and if you keep checking on them indirectly, just go talk to them. Especially if you're a man, take the lead and tell that woman you still care about her, even if all you do is just stay friends. At least let her know you're in her corner and part of her support circle. I can’t speak for everyone, but hearing something like that would mean so much to me.

Be safe everyone.