“Putting Effort Into Your Appearance Is A Form Of Self-Care And Good Manners.”

What do you notice first when you look at someone? For me it’s their personal style, what they decided to put on when they left their house. If that’s appealing to me, then it’s teeth and someone’s smile. I have pretty good insurance that covers my teeth check-ups, cleaning, and anything that needs to be addressed with my oral health. And some people do not realize that your oral health affects other parts of your body including the heart, lungs, eyes, and kidneys.

• Cardiovascular disease: Oral bacteria can cause inflammation and infections that lead to clogged arteries, heart attacks, and stroke. 

• Pneumonia: Germs from the mouth can enter the lungs and cause pneumonia and other respiratory diseases. 

• Pregnancy and birth complications: Gum disease can increase the risk of premature birth, low birth weight, and respiratory problems in the baby. 

• Kidney disease: Gum disease and oral inflammation can decrease kidney function. 

• Glaucoma: Higher levels of bacteria in the mouth, gum disease, and losing teeth can increase the risk of glaucoma. 

• Diabetes: Gum disease can make it harder to manage blood sugar, and diabetes can increase the risk of gum disease. 

• Alzheimer's: Poor oral health has been linked to Alzheimer's disease.

Good teeth and healthy gums are important to me among other things that affect my health and well-being. One of the most disappointing things is when I see a handsome man who has great command presence, who dresses nice, and smells good, but when he smiles, it’s very lack luster. Like I don’t want that month anywhere near me. Let’s skip the personality and character for a second and just talk about optics. What turns you off with someone’s appearance? One of you ladies said a man’s grooming can be a turn off if he doesn’t keep his hair or beard maintained. I can see how that would be an issue. Another reader said dirty shoes is a turn off for her, and I’ll admit, I look at men’s shoes too. Another turn off for me is when a grown man is dressed like a high school student. If the clothes are too oversized or the clothes are too tight, I cannot see past that. Dress what compliments your body type fellas. Don’t wear jeans off your ass and definitely don’t wear skinny jeans that look like you got them from the women’s section. Let me give you some pictures for reference. Take a look at these images, this is what I like to see on grown men.

One time, I styled one of my guy friends and put him in clothes like this, and when he told me he got so much attention when he went out in one of the outfits I picked out for him, I told him, “Baby, I know what women like and we don’t like boys in graphic t-shirts. We like men in collar shirts.”

And I know men like to see women in certain styles too. Men may look at the girl with barely there clothes on, but a grown man admires a woman who can be covered, but still exudes sex appeal. It’s a little cold outside these days and my cold weather look consists of a long coat and an outfit that represents chic and class. I may still show some leg or cleavage, but I’m strategic to leave something to the imagination. I’ve always been complimented for my personal style. A guy was telling one time he didn’t want to take a girl out after he saw the type of outfit she picked out. He said she had a nice body, but her outfit was too revealing for the place he wanted to take her to. He said the outfit looked really trashy and would attract the wrong type of attention. I like when a man can identify things like that. What I would wear to a business event isn’t the same as what I would wear to a friend’s party. There’s professional attire, there’s club attire, and there’s casual attire. My casual may not look like your casual because our personal styles will be different. You just have to know what not to wear and what you can wear in each setting.

And I wouldn’t say I’m too picky with how men dress, I just know what catches my eye. Luckily, 90% of my circle of guy friends know how to dress appropriately for their age. They are well to do men and they know how to dress the part, and I love it. They’re not coming outside looking like they just rolled out of bed and threw whatever on. Even if you do not put too much thought into what you wear when you are shopping, know what to pick out, that’s the key to making it easier to decide how to dress for the day or for an event. Get some nice pieces that can be dressed up or dressed down, like a good blazer. A blazer can elevate a professional look or a casual look.

But let’s not only get wrapped up in clothing, hygiene is just as important to being appealing. Just like the aforementioned, don’t skip your dental visits. Don’t skip your other health check-ups too. Your physical health, stay on top of that. Your mental health, definitely stay on top of that because if your mind isn't right, nothing else will be either (in fact, this is part of the topic that I’ve been wanting to share with you for the past week!).

Folks, we are grown, let’s get our shit together and not be out here avoiding what adds to our appeal and what takes away from our appeal. This has nothing to do with getting attention, people can admire you from afar and not say a word to you because they just noticed how you present yourself. It doesn’t faze me if people approach me or not, but I like to be proud of how I put myself together and I do like when people notice whether or not they let me know it. I just am not someone who doesn’t care about my image and that might sound superficial, but it also means that I’m going to take care of myself internally and externally. And I’m not going to come out of the house looking like anything. Even if I’m wearing sweatpants, I’m going to pair it with other things that make my outfit stylish. It’s the same if I’m wearing workout clothes, I’ll throw on a long jacket and maybe throw on a scarf to add to the aesthetic. We should all be conscious of optics and make an effort to create good optics for the public. The moment I stop caring about how I look or how I present myself, you should be worried because there might be something serious going on in my life that’s keeping me from being my normal self. 99% of the time, I’m going to make sure I’m presentable. You should want to do that for yourself too.

Be safe everyone.