“You can’t force the outcome you want.”

I mentioned this in my rundown of topics previously. I am beginning not to like it when men have ulterior motives with me. Because then I feel like I am not being heard and you just want what you want. If I tell a man I am not interested in jumping into a relationship or that I cannot prioritize a relationship right now, don’t push the topic. Although, you know what I’ve experienced when I stand firm on what I say? The men tend to get upset with me! WHY??? When I made it very clear what I don’t want, So now you’re upset because you could not convince me otherwise? - If you are going to be sassy because something is not going your way, why would I want to be with that type of man in the first place?

I’m not trying to be sexist, but it does seem like men are acting more feminine these days in regards to their emotions. It's okay to express your feelings, but don’t get out of sorts about it. You should still maintain some sort of composure and masculinity.

I shut out the world on purpose and frequently. I only show the world what I want it to see. Putting a space between me and what's outside of me is how I'm able to keep steadiness within my personal life and maintain my peace. Even if we are good friends, I still need some distance. Some take offense to it, although it is my choice, and I choose to wake up grateful knowing I'm blessed. I learned that I cannot give too much of myself to people. I cannot get too engaged with everyone else’s matters. My emotions and opinions can only go so far, and the best I can do is consciously choose to be full of light. I'm social when I'm social. I'm not when I'm not. And in both ways, I don’t like being expected. So if my words are falling on deaf ears to a man, then the decision is easy, I am not going to tolerate or entertain him.

I think I’ve shared this before, I do get some slack from friends about how I should be grateful that so many men are interested in me and want to give me the world and treat me like a Queen. Although, my mind doesn’t think like that. I don’t want someone who is obsessed with me, I don’t want someone who is exactly like me, and I surely don’t want someone who gets uptight when I am not conforming to his expectations. Yes, I do want someone who admires and respects me, but you don’t have to be with me to do that. A good man is a good man all around, no matter her relationship with a woman.

I am appreciative that men are sweet on me, and I am even more appreciative that my male friends have a soft spot for me. I am just not that woman who wants a house on the hills with the man of her dreams. Don’t get me wrong, I used to be that woman when I was younger. If you want those things or have that life, I love that for you, there’s nothing wrong with it. We all take our experiences and shape them differently. For me, I have experienced many things in my life that have made me think more practically and be more sensible about men and relationships. Had some of these men today who are trying to win me over, if they met me when I still thought how I used to think, I have no doubt I’d be married and possibly with more children.

Much of my growth happened in the last few years. I don’t regret anything. I don’t feel that I am wasting my looks or my femininity because I don’t want a traditional relationship. I just think that I am making decisions that are best for me. My outlook on life doesn’t block men from loving me; I’m just more reserved on how I would like men to love me.

Be safe everyone.