“Sometimes we gotta do bald-headed hoe sht.” - (😂 My friends just say anything to me, but I was never one of the girls who was grinding on a man at the club. Or bending over to shake my a**. This generation is the generation that seeks validation on being seen and the men want to be treated like women.)

Some of my friends are starting to get on me about putting myself out there. I told them I went on a few dates some months ago, but I guess that doesn’t count because I really wasn’t into to who idea in the first place. But, my thing is, WHAT AM I PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE FOR? Half these men come with bullsh*t while the other half want to take advantage of that fact that I am busy and laidback. Okay, just because I do not have a lot of time to spare and that I am very easy-going doesn’t mean I’m just going to accepted any type of treatment. Now remember one of the gems that my friend told me to start putting into my daily affirmations? “I AM THE CATCH” ‼️ So yeah, you’re not going to treat me as if I’m a second-hand discounted option.

I prefer someone who I’m comfortable with, who knows my personality, who won’t get upset when I’m not available, who I can go grab food with or cook with, and someone who I can just sit with and enjoy his company even if we aren’t doing anything. I feel like that’s simple, but it may still be a tall ask for some men. Remember when I was mentioning the guy I refer to as “Poppa” and how when we want to be alone, we kind of shut off the world around us and it can seem like we are being distant when really, that’s just how we like to decompress sometimes and reflect on things. I don’t want a guy to misinterpret that and think I’m off doing something with another man, yes I do have guys friends and I do hang out with them time to time, but if I am being intimate with you, then you are the only person I am intimate with. Like, I would love for a man to come volunteering with me or meet some of my mentees and give them some wisdom for his perspective. 👀

The question is, should I put myself out there and entertain multiple men? One of my friends told me that if a man isn’t asking me to be his girlfriend that I need to go all dates with all the different men who are interest in me. But I feel like that brings down my stock. And the more ahead in life I am, the more my stock goes up. If I make myself available to any man then what does that say about my value? 👎

In my eyes, to be intimate with someone is also to be very vulnerable with them, physically and emotionally. And I am very strict about who I am vulnerable with. Plus, do you ladies remember when I talked about our pH Balance and how sexual partners effect that? Yeah, I like my pretty kitty to be healthy. 💦 As of right now, I could drive 30 minutes to an hour away from my front door and I can count LESS than five fingers how many men I have been intimate with. Listen, I take pride in that; my Hello Kitty is precious, any man who has had the privilege to lay with me should feel special, because I don’t just give it up to any one. 💦

So no, by today’s definition, I cannot be a hoe. I’ll sit and spark up a conversation with anyone, but not anyone can have me. So if you were to see me sitting next to a man laughing and enjoying my time, it doesn’t not mean I am sleeping with him or have a romantic interest in him. I think that’s the main reason I like hanging out with my guy friends because with them, I have a male presence, they enjoy me and I enjoy them, but nothing occurs after the night is over.

And I do not have anything against women being sexually free with men, you know what you want. Especially with how social conventions have shifted with the boom of social media apps and reality tv, everyone wants to be seen and exposed and they always want to show what they are doing or tell their friends about it. That’s all fine and dandy, but hey, I know what I want too and that’s not how I want to be. I have a great social personality, but for the most part, I like to be more simple and low-key, so the hoe life ain’t for me. 😶‍🌫️